advice please!!!

[smbcwr04]

 

i am trying to get along with my ex hubby since our daughters, 9 and 8 have asked to get to know him better. but he is constantly saying things like he still loves me and crap. i have been with my SO for 7 years i am not interested and he just got remarried in july. i've tried just ignoring his remarks but he doesn't seem to get the point. what should i say to him?

[ang0708]

that you don't care for him like that..and that he should respect you and your so and he should respect his wife 

[babipeanut]

i would tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and that you don't feel the same --and if he continues then he can only see the girls when BOTH you and s/o can be there.

[smbcwr04]

SO hates ex hubby wishes that I would have continued having no contact with ex. but my daughters want to get to know him so i thought maybe he wouldve grown up by now. ive even interupted him when he starts to say things like that and congratulated him on getting married. and ive hung up on him he just wont get the point. 

[ErikaM27]

tell him you're not interested and that you're trying to make the best of him seeing his daughters and you don't want it to get uncomfortable.

[Rebecca1205]

You need to tell him that the past is in the past, and you need to look towards the future, and while he is in your daughters' futures, he is not in yours.  Children are quite smart, and will start picking up on what he says to you, and how you reply.  If you're uncomfortable, then they are going to start noticing.  Make sure you're clear, and that your ex knows what's at stake:  his daugthers' relationships.  What does he want more, to be part of their lives in a positive way or in a way that he looks like a guy that makes their mother unhappy, on purpose.  Your feelings, although you might try to hide them, are going to show, and you're kids are going to pick up on the negative vibes.  Most of the time, the children will start disliking or turning away from the parent that is making the other parent feel bad.  Those are the options, and he's going to have to make a choice.  You are a strong woman, and I hope things work out for you.

[scootermom]

Quoting ang0708:

that you don't care for him like that..and that he should respect you and your so and he should respect his wife 

[smbcwr04]

 ok i will try to direct and just say i am happy with my life as is and that it doesn't include him. but i am worried because this always happens when i try to make him apart of their life he is more interested in me than in them and now they are at an age where if i stop contact with him again they will see it.