The story is this. My husband and I are an interracial couple as you guys can see from my pic. Our son looks just like my husband and is very light. Every so often I wonder what kind of questions he'll encounter or have as he gets older and I really look forward to answering them.
Here is a prime example of a situation that happened last week. I'm in a class that I have to take to take to get into the RN program next semester (which I did!!) and there are 17 people in this class. The selection process is a lottery of those who have completed their prerequisites. Only 14 people were going to get in out of the 17. So, before we all received our letters people were really on edge speculating who was going to get in and who wasn't.
This girl, turned around and said to me, "You'll probably get in because you're black." She then proceeded to tell me that my new married name was blacker than my maiden name. (This girl and I graduated LVN school together) What?! I didn't even really know how to respond. I was pissed that she would assume that I had not worked as hard her and was just as qualified! If as an adult, I was speechless...I wonder how our son will handle this type of situation.
Anyone else deal with this or have children that have asked questions about race? What did you say?
People that say things like that are ignorant and have no class. They will always be around. It is sad.
I would have just asked her why she would assume that getting in had anything to do with your skin color since you met the requirements and worked just as hard as anyone else.
I have no advice for you but im curious now as to what your maiden name was before and your name now. just to compare i guess. and cuz im just nosey lol. you dont have to tell if oyu dont feel comfortable
Im in an interacial relationship with my fiance, (my daughter is not his) we get alot of stares because my daughter is blonde hair,blue eyed,i have dark hair and dark eyes and hes spanish so we look like a really odd couple lol so far nobody has said anything, but they dont have to, the looks they give me is enough. some people sicken me with their racism if you love somebody who cares...im not sure how i will respond when and if someone says something to me, especially when we have a child of our own!!!
I would have stood up right then and told her that her reply to you was definitely inappropriate. Shame on her for saying that to you. Maybe can take this issue to the main administrator. There's no reason she should ever say that to you or anyone else for that matter!
Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. ~Bruce Crampton
Quoting teresa06:I have no advice for you but im curious now as to what your maiden name was before and your name now. just to compare i guess. and cuz im just nosey lol. you dont have to tell if oyu dont feel comfortable
I went from Tennell to Holmes...how she came to the conclusion that one is "blacker" than the other I will never know.
ugh....I'm sorry, I'd likely have verbally bitch slapped her or made her feel so stupid she never opened her mouth in my presence again! Her assumptions and statements are insulting and ignorant, you might be doing her a HUGE favor by kindly pointing that out to her at some point, so that perhaps next time she'll be more considerate or at least aware of how rude she is being.
Quoting nurse2b208:
Quoting teresa06:
I have no advice for you but im curious now as to what your maiden name was before and your name now. just to compare i guess. and cuz im just nosey lol. you dont have to tell if oyu dont feel comfortable
I went from Tennell to Holmes...how she came to the conclusion that one is "blacker" than the other I will never know.
LOL One set of my MIL's parents are Holmes... and believe me they're white.. no mistaking it...
As for the situation... I'd have been upset too. That's just not right. Some people...
Your son will do just fine, I am sure. I am also biracial, and although it was hard growing up in a community you either had to "act black" or "act white" trials and tribulations are a part of life. With me it was a little more harsh because I look more African American than Caucasion, BUT I was raised by my white family. I had no idea about black culture until I dated a black guy in high school.
Teach your son about the differences in both of your cultures, and encourage him he doesn't need to define himself as one or the other.
Also, my DD is Vietnamese, so I'm looking forward to answering the same kinds of questions.
Wait I'm still trying to figure out how one name is "blacker" then another name.... That kinda made me do a double take.. LOL!
Our family is little and broken, but still good.
Quoting nurse2b208:The story is this. My husband and I are an interracial couple as you guys can see from my pic. Our son looks just like my husband and is very light. Every so often I wonder what kind of questions he'll encounter or have as he gets older and I really look forward to answering them.
Here is a prime example of a situation that happened last week. I'm in a class that I have to take to take to get into the RN program next semester (which I did!!) and there are 17 people in this class. The selection process is a lottery of those who have completed their prerequisites. Only 14 people were going to get in out of the 17. So, before we all received our letters people were really on edge speculating who was going to get in and who wasn't.
This girl, turned around and said to me, "You'll probably get in because you're black." She then proceeded to tell me that my new married name was blacker than my maiden name. (This girl and I graduated LVN school together) What?! I didn't even really know how to respond. I was pissed that she would assume that I had not worked as hard her and was just as qualified! If as an adult, I was speechless...I wonder how our son will handle this type of situation.
Anyone else deal with this or have children that have asked questions about race? What did you say?
Apparently she's too stupid to know what a lottery is. Ask her this: Does she think they're going to write your name on a different colored piece of paper, so they can be sure to find it when they're drawing names? Honest to God. You need to tell that girl what you told us. (The part I put in green.) Ask her if she remembers how hard you worked in LVN school - and does she think you got any breaks she didn't? That is just plain bullshit.
Peace,
Kat
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- nurse2b208
on Nov. 7, 2009 at 4:09 PM