So I have been fighting almost non stop with my husband for about a year now. He is very lazy and very selfish, and he lives like he is still a bachelor. He doesn't pick up ONE SINGLE THING after himself. He doesn't expect me to clean either, because he just doesn't care. But I do, and we have a child, so things have to be cleaned. I have told him several times that if he is going to continue fighting me on this, then AT LEAST he could just pick up after himself and i wont ask him to do any chores. He wont do that either. We fight about the same thing every week and it brings me to tears and not talking to him for days sometimes, and he still wont change. Sometimes he gets apologetic and says he will change, then the next day it's right back to the same thing.
So... juts 5 minutes ago he got out the vacuum to vacuum up WET BEANS AND RICE IN TONS OF SAUCE that my son threw on the floor when he was eating. He vacuumed that up and then put it away. Our floor is filthy, so not only did he do something as idiotic as vacuuming up wet food, he didn't even bother with he rest of the floor. I am also 8 weeks pregnant and I have severe morning sickness, and he has done nothing to make things easier on me. I dont understand his behavior. He acts like he cares about me, but will not change. I am about to throw a fit over what he just did, i am furious. And no, it's not hormones, this has happened many times in the past and makes me want to drive my car off of a bridge, because it is the same B.S. over and over and over...
i wouldnt dare pick up his clothes, wash his clothes, nothing. i would tell him straight up- you start helping or Im gone.
Dont put up with it.
I do that!!! But he doesn't CARE!!!! Basically, Im just making myself live in a giant mess!! He doesn't mind if I clean or not, doesn't bother him one bit! He will do a gigantic load of his own clothes like once or twice a month!
Quoting jessiesluv:
i wouldnt dare pick up his clothes, wash his clothes, nothing. i would tell him straight up- you start helping or Im gone.
Dont put up with it.
i don't really know what i'd do. my husband doesn't do things like i do around here, but most of it isn't anything to fight about so i work around it. however, if he just didn't do ANYTHING and never helped, i'd probably smother him in his sleep or something. or punch him in the gut everytime i had to clean up after him. not really, but you get the idea. i'm not super anal about cleaning, but really? vacuuming up wet food and not picking up your own messes is unacceptable. that's childish behavior.
see.. i dunno if i would go to THAT extreme... yet. honestly, if he wants to act like a kid, let him. what do you do when your child doesnt listen? hmm, i guess it depends on your son's age... for my son, 4 years old.. if he doesnt pick something up. it goes bye-bye. if he wants to earn it back, he can. but he better make sure not to leave it out again cuz with the second offense, its GONE for good.
i'd put his clothes in a trash bag, put them somewhere else (outta sight, outta mind). when he asks about where his clothes went- say i dunno, the maid must've thrown them out, not thinking that it was important since it was on the floor. sorry.
Quoting jessiesluv:
i wouldnt dare pick up his clothes, wash his clothes, nothing. i would tell him straight up- you start helping or Im gone.
Dont put up with it.
See thats the thing. I am not a neat freak either, but he literally does nothing. Nothing at all. He will occasionally half-ass a chore if we get in a really bad fight about it, then when i bring up that he does nothing he will say... yeah but i did so and so last week
Quoting nemiller:
i don't really know what i'd do. my husband doesn't do things like i do around here, but most of it isn't anything to fight about so i work around it. however, if he just didn't do ANYTHING and never helped, i'd probably smother him in his sleep or something. or punch him in the gut everytime i had to clean up after him. not really, but you get the idea. i'm not super anal about cleaning, but really? vacuuming up wet food and not picking up your own messes is unacceptable. that's childish behavior.
LOL he vaccumed up wet beans, rice and sauce?! i am not trying to laugh at your situation. i just find it funny he did that. but this is what i did when i had sort of the same issue, hubs being lazy not picking up after himself. i went on strike. didn't cook, clean , dust, do laundry nothing. he said to me i need some clean underwear, i siad well til you learn to help out i am not doin sh*t, i am not the only one that lives here nor am i the only one that makes a mess, but sure as hell am the only one that can clean it up....he has been better about it since. i am not sure how old he is and or how long it has been for your hubby since he left his mommy, but man are like dogs honey you have to train them.
while it seems like he was trying , even though it wasnt a smart move w/ the vacume. mabey you shouldnt be so hard on him, he might get scared hell mess up and not want to do any chores ( i could be wrong,) you should at least aknoladge that he was trying to pick up the babys food.
won't work. he doesnt care whether i clean or not.
Quoting marshallsmommy:
LOL he vaccumed up wet beans, rice and sauce?! i am not trying to laugh at your situation. i just find it funny he did that. but this is what i did when i had sort of the same issue, hubs being lazy not picking up after himself. i went on strike. didn't cook, clean , dust, do laundry nothing. he said to me i need some clean underwear, i siad well til you learn to help out i am not doin sh*t, i am not the only one that lives here nor am i the only one that makes a mess, but sure as hell am the only one that can clean it up....he has been better about it since. i am not sure how old he is and or how long it has been for your hubby since he left his mommy, but man are like dogs honey you have to train them.
If you fight about it often he probably thinks your a nag. Do you sah? It's my experience that men respect you when they feel respected. When was the last time you said thank you for providing for your family? Try it and see the change. Stop nagging the man and if he does do something to clean up, don't criticize how he does so and point out what he didn't do, just thank him.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- rchl882
on Nov. 7, 2009 at 5:21 PM