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How do you ladies deal with HORRIBLE mother-in-laws *vent/advise*
posted to Newcomers Club - Active discussion
in The CafeMom Newcomers Club
on Nov. 8, 2009 at 12:28 AM
- 11 Replies
- 230 Total Views
ok..i dont even know where to begin. i am soo infuriated, and lost! i have NO IDEA how to handle the mother in law from HELL! like seriously, im worried that my situation is SO BAD that it might ruin my marriage.
heres a little backround. me and my husband started dating back in high school in tenth grade, we got married after being together for three years, its now been a year and eight months of us being married, and we have a 17 month old baby boy. My husbands mother has hated me from day one and i have NO CLUE why. i never did a thing to her. in the long relationship between me and my husband i have constantly dealt with her rudeness and disrespect towards me. Not only that but i have sat back and watched her treat my husband like shit. she adopted him (she was his foster mother) but she treated him like shit and still does. she yells at him if he calls her too often, hates it when he tries to hug her or being affectionate, shes just really reallt horrible.
i never really made a big deal about her, i never really let her bother me too much, and i always remained respectful since she is my husbands mother, and i always held my tongue when she did something to cross the line, but everything changed after i had my son. during the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy and the first month of my sons life me and my husband lived with her, she got into a HUGE arguement with hubby, and she kicked us out. the arguement was OUT OF CONTROL, thats when i saw how psycho she really was, she pulled a knife out on hubby, and when i went to cal police, she pushed me with my baby in my arms. we left, and that was that, i tried to keep my distance from hubbys side of the family, but he is so soft and forgiving, and is ALWAYS trying to please his mom. so many times we would get into arguements, cuz i wouldnt wanna take my son to see her, and i would just give in out of guilt, cuz i didnt wanna hold him from his family. but one timewe went to go visit the witch, and when we got there she told my hubby, to leave cuz she "didnt wanna see his wife or his baby"
after that, i was done, how can a grown ass woman deny seeing her grandchild. we stood at her house for about 2 hours that day and the dumb bitch locked herself in her room and didnt come out to see the baby. her reason for this was because she was mad that i allowed my son to sleep over my mothers house but not hers. after that i told my husband that i wasnt gonna allow his family to be a part of my sons life. (his mom isnt the only moron, he also has a sister who is nosey as fuck and tries to run our lives, and a two faced brother)
his family started telling him to leave me and planting horrible seeds in his brain, to make me seem like a bitch. they would all talk trash about me, even some family members that never even met me.
so today there was a family reunion for my hubbys family that he didnt wanna go to, i was willing to go, but he said he didnt wanna go. so i didnt plan on going at all, then early this morning, hubbys sister and mother showed up at my house unexpected, trying to force my hubby to go to the reunion, they said if i didnt wanna go that he could go with the baby or they would take the baby them selves, my husband got into an arguement with them and things got ugly, so i got up pissed off, and grabbed my son andheaded towards the door, cuz i hate arguements infront of my son, i yelled at them for screaming like savages, and told them they were rude as i was walking out the door, and then his mom called me a little shit bitch, and told me to go to hell...then i told her to get the fuck out of my house. his sister started coming after me, and everyone was just screaming and acting crazy, the neighbors started coming out to see if everything was ok, thats how bad the argueing was. this went on and on for about a half and hour then his mother left, but his sister stood there screaming and talking shitfor so long, we kept telling her to leave and we wouldnt.
now all his family is calling him to tel him how wrong i am, and that his family is first and they are gonna be there forever and i might not, and all this bull shit.
his sister then tried to make him feel guilty by telling him that his mom was dying cuz she has a clogged artery.
anyways the point is, i am ALWAYS being judged and talked about by these people, and i eel bad for hubby cuz hes in the middle of this horrible tug of war, but i honestly dont want my son around those negative people, and i dont know what to do. i get upset with hubby, cuz i feel that he should defend me more, and its like he allows them to intrude into our relationship and try to run everything, they try to take control of everything, and my son doesnt even like them, he never sees them so hes not used to them, and the few times that they do go around its always a fight, so he runs and hides from them. there is so much more to the stories, but this is the basic stuff.
please ladies help me, am i wrong, should i just let my son be exposed to these low class bitches, am i putting too much pressure on hubby, do u think he shoulve defended me? what would u do in my shoes? i dont want this to end badly. his family is fucking us up.
Replies:
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 12:31 AM
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I can only tell you what *I* did
i wrote that entire family out of my son and my life. and that was that. THe last straw was the cps call. ANd i was done
i told DH that he could be as involved as he wanted with his family, but to please respect me and my wishes for my son. I did not want him around those who would speak negatively about me and would teach him to disrespect me in front of him
And dh completely agreed with me.
You should NOT have to deal with that. DO NOT.
proud 20 year old mommy to the love of my life Wyatt, born 01.08.09 and totally in love to my Marine Patrick since 01.10.08
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 12:35 AM
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I refuse to let the stupid whore see my son ! Shes a evil psyco whore thats said my son isnt her grandson since I was pregnant ! My husband and I have been together for about 5 years and my son is 2 ! Shes an evil whore that doesnt deverve the dog shit off my shoes !
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 12:39 AM
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This is what I did. I told DH he can have as much of a relationship with them as he wants but I am not going to put DD through any of their craziness. He agreed and after all the shit they put us through (and put him through during his childhood) he wrote them all off. We only talk to his father and his mother is not allowed around our DD ever because she is nuts. If she shows up on my property I will call the cops. I told him that I have no control over him and would never take his family away from him but I do have some control over my own child. He agreed. He knows what family will always stick by him. The one that he created with me. Good luck, and just remember you really don't need to take that shit. Don't put yourself through all the stress.
Quoting USMCBride08:
I can only tell you what *I* did
i wrote that entire family out of my son and my life. and that was that.THe last straw was the cps call. ANd i was done
i told DH that he could be as involved as he wanted with his family, but to please respect me and my wishes for my son. I did not want him around those who would speak negatively about me and would teach him to disrespect me in front of him
And dh completely agreed with me.
You should NOT have to deal with that. DO NOT.
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 12:43 AM
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My MIL rules, in fact i am her fav. However FIL and hs now deceased wife hate/hated me. They hated me so much that in the past few years they saw my kids like 3 times and we are the only ones in the state. There are like twenty soemthing grandchildren and ours are the only ones treated this way. There are pics of all the grandkids but ours in their home as well. So I told dh either his dad or me. Dh cut ties with his dad and we have been happy and wonderful ever since. Sometimes "blood" doesn't mean squat. Just stay away from your MIL because of she pulled out a knife she is capapble of being violent and you don't want that around your baby.
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 12:58 AM
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My MIL was like that, she yelled at me at our dd's first b day party and told my dh I was being rude when I wasn't plus she wanted all of the guest's to leave early so we could go shopping with her, My dh didn't defend me when she stood there yelling b/c I refused to send my guests home, he had the nerve to say to me why did you piss my mom off, I was so mad I took dd and went over a friends house, After that I stopped sending her pictures of dd, I stopped talking to them and when they called I gave my dh the phone, After about 5 years we are talking now she finally apologized for ruining my dd's first birthday. Sorry so long didn't mean to ramble on like that.
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 1:02 AM
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I didn't read your post, but DH and I moved away, and gave her a chance to get her shit together and go on some meds (she is bipolar) and she chose not to, so we are estranged.
Good luck!
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 1:02 AM
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Quoting USMCBride08:
I can only tell you what *I* did
i wrote that entire family out of my son and my life. and that was that. THe last straw was the cps call. ANd i was done
i told DH that he could be as involved as he wanted with his family, but to please respect me and my wishes for my son. I did not want him around those who would speak negatively about me and would teach him to disrespect me in front of him
And dh completely agreed with me.
You should NOT have to deal with that. DO NOT.
Was that like this week?
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 1:08 AM
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do we have the same mil? lol.
hang in there sweetie and dont let it get to you to much, i think its like a rule that mil's have to be crazy lol.
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 1:10 AM
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My MIL is a two faced witch. She would be nice to my face but as soon as I walked out the door she would talk crap about me behind my back. She doesn't give two cents about my son either. She has 4 grandchildren and she favors 2 of them. It's always about them, one of them even spends the night there every weekend but my son, nope. A year ago the final straw was pulled when one of my older nephews(age 18) disrespected me and I left the house, DH got into his face about it, and my MIL got in the middle and took my nephew's side. We haven't seen nor talked to her since.
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