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Are they taking advantage of us??
posted to Newcomers Club - Active discussion
in The CafeMom Newcomers Club
on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:36 PM
- 16 Replies
- 214 Total Views
OK so DH and I have a friend that moved in with us 1 1/2 years ago. He rents the room up stairs. About 6 months ago he asked if his gf could move in. We said fine it doesn't matter to us. Well since then and for some time before I have become increasingly irritated. Our friend got fired from his job and has had issues with money. He still pays rent but just makes it between the two of them. I know times are hard but we only charge 250 a month. On top of that she never buys any toiletries......shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash. She uses mine. They also never buy laundry detergent.....I buy tide because it gets everything out so they use that. Sometimes they buy their own food but not all the time and they eat with DH and I a lot! On top of the money we spend on them living here they don't clean very often. Sometimes on an occasion when pigs are flying they'll clean the kitchen or they will pick up the living room....which the living room I can understand b/c that's mostly our mess. But when they dirty a dish they set it on the counter so I can clean it most of the time. I clean their bathroom and all of the hair he leaves after he shaves(gross)! We also have friends over for dinner 1 or 2 nights a week normally. Well all my friends will bring one or 2 items over and we will all grill out. There is normally more than enough food so I invite them to eat but they come down when the food is ready and go right back up after they leave! I think that is soooo rude and they aren't contributing like everyone else!! So do you think we are being taken advantage of? I'm kind of just venting here but I get soo soo frustrated. What do y'all think?
Replies:
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:45 PM
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Yes, I think they are taking advantage of ya'll. I would put a stop to her using my toiletres and quick. I could see every now & then, but not all the time. Does she work?
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:45 PM
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It does kinda sound like they are taking advantage of the situation - especially if they aren't buying their own food/ toiletries. 250/month for two ppl is really a deal = I would recommend maybe sitting them down and talking about how you are feeling and just saying that money is tight for everyone, and you are doing your best to help them get back on their feet and all that, but you have to draw the line somewhere! If they have their own bathroom, why is she using YOUR toiletries?? Does she walk to your bathroom to get them? As for the food - it doesn't sound like you are charging them any percentage of the utilities, so I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask for them to start pitching in with buying their own food at least! Unfortunately, the longer you let it all go without saying anything, the more of a habit it is going to become for them and the harder it will be to get anything to change. Being nice and helping out a friend is one thing, but putting yourself to all this trouble for two ppl who aren't contributing at all is totally different. I'd speak up soon! Good luck! :-)
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:46 PM
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that would make me so angry too. I hate when people take advanage of me. But I allow it to continue. Good luck. I would tell them either help or get out
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:46 PM
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Heck yes! I think you need to either have them move out, or increase their rent to pay for all the xtras.
Mom of twins
Peyton and Mackenzie~11/22/04
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:47 PM
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Idk, I guess look at it like it's just a business arangement. They are renting the room w/ kitchen & bathroom privleges. They should have their own food, toiletries, tp, towel, laundry soap, etc. BUT that means if they are paying rent on that room, as long as you can shut the door, they can kkep it how thay want.
Jennifer
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- by on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:48 PM
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Well the bathroom situation is odd.....DH got our bathroom redonw before I moved in and they did a terrible job and our shower is tiny!! DD likes to shower with us so we normally use the shower up stairs. My Mother has suggested just showering in ours which i am leaning towards.
Quoting key2ynot:
It does kinda sound like they are taking advantage of the situation - especially if they aren't buying their own food/ toiletries. 250/month for two ppl is really a deal = I would recommend maybe sitting them down and talking about how you are feeling and just saying that money is tight for everyone, and you are doing your best to help them get back on their feet and all that, but you have to draw the line somewhere! If they have their own bathroom, why is she using YOUR toiletries?? Does she walk to your bathroom to get them? As for the food - it doesn't sound like you are charging them any percentage of the utilities, so I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask for them to start pitching in with buying their own food at least! Unfortunately, the longer you let it all go without saying anything, the more of a habit it is going to become for them and the harder it will be to get anything to change. Being nice and helping out a friend is one thing, but putting yourself to all this trouble for two ppl who aren't contributing at all is totally different. I'd speak up soon! Good luck! :-)
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