did i do this right? (daddy is gone)

Replies:

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• by
  • slm047
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:47 PM

• i really have no idea on how to address that situation.

  thankfully, dh & i are still together so i only have to explain where daddy is when he's working..

  sorry you have to deal with the questions though, i'm sure it's not easy. i wish the dad was around..

• 
• by
  • Inana
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:49 PM

• I'm sorry you're havin to do this by yourself.  Shame on him for not being around for his child's sake.  You keep strong and keep up the good work.  You're doing just fine.  I get the sense that you're trying to convey the message that yes daddy is gone and it's ok to miss him but life does go on and things have to be done.  I wish you the best of luck!  My hat is off to you!
  

  
  

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• by
  • adamjackie
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:53 PM

• It sounds to me like you handled it very well. When kids ask questions like that a short simple answer is always the best. Good for you for not talking bad about his dad to him.
  

  
  

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• by
  • BabyinAug08
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:55 PM

• wow, I hope things get better. I do not personally know how hard it is to be a single mom but jsut keep your head up high. You can't make his father want to be invovled even though it is the kid that suffers in the end. Hopefully you will meet somebody one day that will actually want to be a father.

  My dad is not my biological dad but he is the greatest man in the world (IMO). Even after he and my mom split, he always stayed apart of my life. In fact, we talk about every other day and I only talk to my mother about once a week if that. There is so much more to being a father than just beign a sperm donor. I trukly hope you find peace in that situation.
  

  
  

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• by
  • corrkie
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:57 PM

• I know hoe you feel hun i went thorough it myself thankfully my ds was very young only 9 months so i only had to deal with him asking for dad for a few months but that's exactly how i did it only talking about him when he brought him up i understand its hard watching him hurt for him i see it with my sd for her mom now all i can say is stay strong & your in my prayers
  

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• by
  • jjessers
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:58 PM

• I agree :)

  On another note...does his father realise what he is doing to his poor son. I think I would probably call the Mother..and simply explain in a very nice way...that your son has been asking about his father and really wants to see and talk to him. Although I do not know your whole situation...so not sure if that is out of line or anything.
  

  Quoting adamjackie:
  
  

  It sounds to me like you handled it very well. When kids ask questions like that a short simple answer is always the best. Good for you for not talking bad about his dad to him.

  
  

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• by
  • jothra
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 6:02 PM

• Maybe can you just tell him with your ex that you guys both love him, but you don't live together anymore. I know they say to give short and to the point answers to the little ones. If you keep saying you don't know, he's gonna keep asking why. Maybe just give a short reason like you fight too much or whatever it might be.
  

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• by
  • KatelynsMommy
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 6:02 PM

• My hearts breaking for you and your son. My daughters father has never been around for more than a playdate type visit once every 2-6 months. I did however date a guy and live with him for a year and he took on the daddy role.. only to decide one day.. he didnt want it anymore. It broke my little girls heart beyond anything i could have imagined. They're so little to have to deal with such hurt! I can say that now, about 5 months later, she is doing A LOT better. She knows that she will always have me, but i know she longs for a father figure in her life. You did the right thing. In my situation, she saw my ex at his worst.. screaming at me, telling her it was all my fault he was leaving.. and that made her want him to be away. Just keep reminding your lil man that he always has you and you are a team. It's great you are keeping up your regular things with him.. maybe try to add some other special just you and him things.. that may help take his mind off stuff. If you ever wanna talk, PM me.. I know how rough it is! Take care!
  

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• by
  • m0ml0v3s2
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 6:03 PM

• you handled it perfectly, and did a great job!

  

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• by
  • chjack123
  on Nov. 8, 2009 at 6:03 PM

• That's a tough one. I think you are doing a great job handling this with your son. Sorry his dad is being a calous dirtbag.
  

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