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a sh***y day has to end even sh***ier right....

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
  • 21 Replies

So idk if u read my post earlier but dh and i fight so much and just when we were agreeing to call it quits we found out i was pregnant.... well today we fought all day on n off to the point where dh (supposedly idk im going by his word) threw his ring out the window while driving (mind u it was only a $20 silver ring)  but its the second time hes done it, first time was back in the beginning, weve only been married 5 months this is so rediculous how much we fight, we did a stupid thing by getting married after only knowing each other a few months.... so tonight just ended as badly as it possibly could im so tired but im so upset theres no way im going to sleep anytime soon..... hes sleeping on the couch.....

he wants a divorce in a way i want one too cause im SO tired of the fighting, but i dont want one cause i  love him and now we are expecting a baby and its his first baby and he says that hell fight me for it, hes told me at diff times when we are fighting that he wants me to get an abortion then other times he says if i did do that than hed take me to court to sue me for aborting his child (idk if peep can do that) ive always been against abortion (my dds dads first reaction to me pregnancy was to get an abortion obvi i didnt listen) its like i have the worst luck on when i get pregnant.... And im going to add the same thing i did in my last post before i get ridiculed for anything i kno im lucky i can have babies and i kno how it is to have a m/c (had one this past june) so i feel for u mommas that cant and im sorry for that..... but honestly this is the first time in my life i have EVER considered abortion i think its wrong and i kno it would probably fuck me up emotionally but i think  if dh and i really get divorced its gonna fuck me up more to have this baby....and if i have the baby im not just gonna hand it over to him i cant do that.... i feel so lost and confused and hurt..... ive been a sahm again for a while now and have been looking for a job but my job hunting has not reached his expectaions so he always says i havent tried.... i dont know what to do theres no talking to him when hes upset and hes getting up early to go hunting tomorrow morning so idk when hell be home and he may be an ass and stay out longer just cause hes so angry..... idk i keep trying to stop crying and i cant i wish i could stop loving him like it seems hes stopped loving me

having a baby




by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
meghan925
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:03 AM
Awe sorry your going through this... I don't have any good advice but try not to stress so much..its not good for the baby. Good luck


Im a proud 18 year old mommy to my beautiful 2 year old Alaina Marie

Mami2Zoe
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:05 AM

What do you fight about the most? Have you tried writing him a letter telling him how you feel or sitting down and talking

nillamilkshake
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:06 AM

im sorry youre not happy..i honestly would divorce him and then have an abortion..but thats me..im not against it. and he couldnt do anything about you having one if you wanted because its your right not his..especially if you divorce him first.  

Cecilias_mommy
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:10 AM

we fight about nothing honestly its just someone gets an attitude (ill admit sometimes im the one who gets it first) and then it just escalate over NOTHING weve "sat down and talked" plenty of times he tells me all the things i do wrong get yelled at for interrupting him and never get the chance to defend myself well thats how most talks go.... we have had some good productive talks but hes just so over reactive, he flips out over the tone and attitude i say something

Quoting Mami2Zoe:

What do you fight about the most? Have you tried writing him a letter telling him how you feel or sitting down and talking


having a baby




texassahm
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:10 AM

Having young children/babies was very stressful on my marriage - it nearly broke us apart.

I would recommend a temporary solution for one of you to go live with one of your parents for a predetermined amount of time.  In many states you cannot divorce if the wife is pregnant.

One thing that really helped mend my marriage was a book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger - the basis of the book is if you are kind to your husband and treat him like a king, then he will, in turn, treat you like a queen after a period of time.  I don't follow this book to the letter, but the basis of it is something we live by and now our marriage is healthier than ever.

Good luck.

Mami2Zoe
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:11 AM

 

I say try writing him a letter and tell him how you feel and see how that goes and if he still doesnt give a shit then do what you feel is right for you.

Quoting Cecilias_mommy:

we fight about nothing honestly its just someone gets an attitude (ill admit sometimes im the one who gets it first) and then it just escalate over NOTHING weve "sat down and talked" plenty of times he tells me all the things i do wrong get yelled at for interrupting him and never get the chance to defend myself well thats how most talks go.... we have had some good productive talks but hes just so over reactive, he flips out over the tone and attitude i say something

Quoting Mami2Zoe:

What do you fight about the most? Have you tried writing him a letter telling him how you feel or sitting down and talking

 


liz1986
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:14 AM

What do you fight about it? Have you tried counseling? Let me tell you, DH and I have been together 6 years, married for 2, and those first 4 were NOT easy. We have been to counseling, had endless conversations, and went to a marriage seminar. Marriage is not easy, it takes work. If you love him you should try everything you can to make it work. Don't get a divorce simply because you're giving up or tired of the fighting. I was tired of it too, but kept working on it. This is JMO and personal experience. I'm all for saving a marriage.

Proud Army Wife to Tim 12.31.07
Mommy to Chris 06.21.05
Mommy to Anthony 07.24.07




army washing dishesbackpack toddler boy

texassahm
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:15 AM

I would also like to add that being divorced is a lot harder than being married.

Imagine sending your babies to be with him for days, or weeks at a time.  In the summertime there are 4-6wk visitations.

Imagine going holidays without your babies.  For me I can not imagine sending my children somewhere else on Christmas morning, or for a birthday...or alternating Thanksgiving...

Imagine your ex bringing home a new girlfriend and your child bonding with that woman - a stranger to you.  You will have no control over how they parent your children in their home...or if they talk badly about you to your children. 

Imagine your child going on vacations with their father and their new stepmother, while you hear about all the fun things they did as a family...

Then there is child support, who pays for clothes, who pays for extra-curriculars, you can't move anywhere you want if you marry someone new.

Really - divorce is really bad news and many times detrimental on the children.

Nope, divorce is something I will try to avoid at all costs.  If it was just me, or if I had adult children, I'd think differently, but with young, minor children - aside from abuse, chronic adultry, or addiction, I am staying with my husband - for better or for worse.

liz1986
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:16 AM

I have the perfect book for you! It's helped DH and I understand eachother better. It's called Love and Respect. Keep in mind though, it is somewhat religious - not 100%. You could always leave out the Bible verses. It's a really good book in general though.

Quoting Mami2Zoe:

 

I say try writing him a letter and tell him how you feel and see how that goes and if he still doesnt give a shit then do what you feel is right for you.

Quoting Cecilias_mommy:

we fight about nothing honestly its just someone gets an attitude (ill admit sometimes im the one who gets it first) and then it just escalate over NOTHING weve "sat down and talked" plenty of times he tells me all the things i do wrong get yelled at for interrupting him and never get the chance to defend myself well thats how most talks go.... we have had some good productive talks but hes just so over reactive, he flips out over the tone and attitude i say something

Quoting Mami2Zoe:

What do you fight about the most? Have you tried writing him a letter telling him how you feel or sitting down and talking

 

 


Proud Army Wife to Tim 12.31.07
Mommy to Chris 06.21.05
Mommy to Anthony 07.24.07




army washing dishesbackpack toddler boy

Cecilias_mommy
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:17 AM

i actually have tried the letter thing but theres nothing i could say in a letter that i havent already told him, when i wrote him i letter before he was like ok uve told me this before so idk somedays it seems like the only way for him to be nice is to be happy go lucky susie homemaker but heaven forbid u have a bad day or have constant nausea from being pregnant then ur just a lazy bitch.... he used to be so nice it just kills me how mean he is now

Quoting Mami2Zoe:


I say try writing him a letter and tell him how you feel and see how that goes and if he still doesnt give a shit then do what you feel is right for you.

Quoting Cecilias_mommy:

we fight about nothing honestly its just someone gets an attitude (ill admit sometimes im the one who gets it first) and then it just escalate over NOTHING weve "sat down and talked" plenty of times he tells me all the things i do wrong get yelled at for interrupting him and never get the chance to defend myself well thats how most talks go.... we have had some good productive talks but hes just so over reactive, he flips out over the tone and attitude i say something

Quoting Mami2Zoe:

What do you fight about the most? Have you tried writing him a letter telling him how you feel or sitting down and talking




having a baby




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