Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:15 PM
  • 2 Replies

Long story short dd's father has NO job, goes to culinary school & that's what he plans on doing until he graduates in 2011. IF he graduates, he has a habit of starting things and never finishing them.  He come's and gets my dd whenever he feels like it.  Like for example this weekend.  He was supposed to get her Saturday and keep her until today.  Well he couldnt get her Saturday so he came and got her yesterday and told me he'd keep her until Tuesday.  Mind you he hasn't seen her in 3 weeks!!  He has NOOOO money to give me for her but is always out on the weekend doing God knows what!  I am BEYOND fed up with DEADBEAT ASS FATHERS!  It's not like he has a wealthy family where he could always borrow money from.  He HAS to work!  I am sooo done!  I can only see this getting worse as she gets older, and I know I'm gonna get blamed for it.  The kids always blame the GOOD parent. 

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:15 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:26 PM

Do not beat yourself up over it I have been fighting with my sons father about this for 8 years now. (the money thing) It is rough on the kids. Now that my son is 8 years old and he now is Begin the concept of what he wants to do or when he wants to see his dad. Weekend visits and such. I leave it up to him when he wants to visit. For example if he has a birthday party he wants to go to he calls his dad and tells him I have a birthday party I want to go to this weekend can I go next and not always did he agree before but now he does. The money thing I just tell him that if he wants to go I have to get money from his dad. If he does not send me money then we can not go. He understands this concept as well. Only because he is older. If you can get a public attorney and take him to court and they will set the visits for him on certain days and such. Then he has to follow those set days. Not sure if this is what you want to do but this will let him know that you are not going to stand for the games and parenting is a long term thing not when it is convenient for them. He made his bed then let him lay in it.

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:44 PM

I agree if you have children stand by them through it all!

All you can do is do your best for you and your daughter.

He is continuing in school though, you have to give him that.

He does come to visit your daughter, without you pushing him I hope

Maybe this will actually be the thing that pans out for him.

Im a single mom of 3, 2 deadbeat dads so I get what you are saying!

Both of them are alcoholics and spend every dime on their drink.

Ive had friends and strangers help my kids more than their own fathers ever have.

I used to get mad and sometimes I still do, my youngest is 15 now and getting her father to do any thing is useless and ends up with him insulting me and cussing me ruthlessly.

My children have grown up and matured more than their own fathers have.

ITs been hard lessons learned for them too.  My son, my oldest just had his first child and I know that he will not ever be the kind of dad that he and his siters had.  He dotes over her, she will never be without, I know he will see too it.

My son and I were talking the week before she was born about 4 weeks ago now.  And he said all the things a single mom needed to hear to me.

We were talking about the past, and I started to feel so bad, he used to yell at me as a teen because he was more of a man than his own father or step father and he was so good to his little sisters always protecting them and being there fore them. I told him I was sorry he was in that position as a child in his teens and junior high age, his life was so hard at times I know.

And he said to me mom it wasnt so bad. My life wasnt bad at all, it made me who I am today.  We shared lots of good times with the electric off and using candles,played games and all slept in one bed to keep warm because we didnt have any heat.  He said you always worried you couldnt by all the clothes we wanted but we wore the same favorite t-shirt every day any way. He said it taught him alot.  We even homeschooled because we didnt have lunch money and that was the last couple of years I was married too.  Because the dads both get their paychecks and stay gone until the money was gone then come home.

Good luck, you still have each other and your daughter is beautiful and you have your health



I write for the Examiner, Roller Derby

Favorite me, subscribe to me.





Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)