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Kindergarten, Detention, I'm confused....

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:35 PM
  • 41 Replies

My SS is started kindergarten this year.  Since the beginning of the school year, he has been tardy numerous times.  My DH and I were not aware of how many times until today.  We had his tardies and absences printed out by the school.  Since August, he has been tardy 9 times and only on the days he is with his mother.  While I was at the school getting these papers, I was informed that he will have to attend detention tomorrow for an hour and a half because of his tardies.  I'm seriously confused on why he is being punished for something he cannot control.  He is 5, he does not drive himself to school, nor does he have the power to make his mother get him to school on time.  The thought of the child sitting in detention for an hour and a half not fully understanding why is breaking my heart.  My DH is severely upset about the situation also.  Should SS be punished for this?  Please give me your opinions on the situation.  TIA.

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ladyhazel77
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:38 PM

That seems really unfair to make a kindergartner stay for detention.  He has no control over the situation.  Have they spoken to mom about this and what does she think about it?

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Villanelle83
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:39 PM

My aunt is a teacher, and did morning detentions. She explained to me that it's not so much punishment for the child, but for the parent to be inconvenienced so they will be more responsible in getting the child to school in the future. So... It still doesn't make sense to me. I understand in middle school, when the kids can fool around and not get to class on time, or in high school when kids drive to school... It doesn't make sense in elementary to punish the child. I do feel that something needs done to show parents how important it is to get the kids to school on time, but not a detention for the child. Maybe a fine, mandatory class for the parent, I dunno...

inspain
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:40 PM

That's totally unacceptable.  Punishing your kid, as a way of punishing you for being late, is really low.  Someone at that school needs their ass handed to them, go to it mama!

If you're late dropping your kid off, they're still getting paid, so what's the problem?  The most that should happen are the scowls of disapproval and maybe a string of pissy notes.  Life is messy sometimes, it's just kindergarten, you'll get there, when you get there.  ;-)



The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions, is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble and that is what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong. - Bill Maher
grammarpolice
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:40 PM

Has your DH spoken to his ex wife about it? What is her explanation and her take on it?

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:41 PM

do you have a student handbook (has rules, dress code, etc) try and see if that is just a school wide rule about tardies,  if not call the teacher and see if because only his mom caused the issue that she could be made to come in for a conference instead of him being punished as it is all her fault,  you also want to save those papers in case of custody stuff because it shows she is not a responsible parent,  tardy once or twice is one thing,  but nine days already is a bad pattern!

chair.r13
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:41 PM

There is no way in hell my child would attend that detention.

mother_of_JGM
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:42 PM

Im sorry maybe its my preggo hormones but I would be marching right down to the school and telling them where to shove it!!!!! I would say just try it!!!!! and tell him that he wont be there, there is no legal way they can keep you from picking up your son from school. And even if it was his fault, he is five and an hour and a half is WAY TOO LONG!!!!

shajdinyak
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:43 PM

Unfortunately your child has to suffer becuz of whoever is making him late.  It is not fair to him, but that must be the schools way of trying to make the students be on time.

macysmama1206
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:44 PM

The reason we got the absences and tardies printed out was because BM was telling her family that we were the ones who had kept SS out of school and now he is in an after school program.  She says that she has only kept him out or been late 3 times, that is obviously not the truth.  I have the paper with the days on it, but that is beside the point.  She is angry about it, but seems to not understand that this is really her fault.  It amazes me farther that her home in 5 minutes from the school and our's is 25.  He has never been late with us and only been absent when sick.  The tardies and random absences will affect his education and I'm afraid, knowing the person she is, that him being in detention will not do anything to change what she is doing.  I'm very angry right now, this is completely unfair to my SS on many different levels and there is really nothing we can do about it.

Quoting ladyhazel77:

That seems really unfair to make a kindergartner stay for detention.  He has no control over the situation.  Have they spoken to mom about this and what does she think about it?


Jeiao
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:46 PM

 I would tell the school absolutely not. If they have an issue, take it up with the parent, not out on the kid. My stepchild would not be sitting in detention because his mother can't roll out of bed into her sneakers and get him to school. Can he take the bus to avoid the issue in the future?

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