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Was I wrong that I stopped talking to my mil?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 4:35 PM
  • 12 Replies

This other post got me thinking. I haven't spoken to my mil in over 5 yrs because I was pregnant once and had a miscarriage. She told her daughters who were 8 and 14 that god punished me and my dh because we didn't help her out with money. Anyways I found out and I confronted her over the phone about it and she admitted that since then I have now 2 children and well she doesn't have anything to do with me or our kids. Dh doesn't disagree either he doesn't speak to her unless he has to. After that so many things happened. She left us her daughter the 14 yr old she left without no paper work I was having a hard time putting her in school but i did. 

 I just went through a lot of bs with her she also reported me to fraud with the medicaid because she said her daughter was with her but she wasn't and they were going to report me to the attorney general because SHE lied because she was asking for assistance for the daughter that was with us. So many more things she's done. I didn't get help from her money wise she just didn't care that we weren't speaking and well my dh and i took over her and raised her until she was almost 19 when she left to live with her boyfriend...

Anyways time has passed and I just don't think about the woman anymore. She doesn't rememeber what I even look like (so I've heard) it's like whatever to meI don't feel any emotion about her I could care less you could say. If someone mentions her name I can hold a conversation I don't speak bad about her but I just could care less you know? BUT I sometimes wonder how others would have reacted if this would have happened. Was I wrong to have gotten so upset about my miscarrage? I was just so hurt about what she said why say that to a person that just lost her baby?

by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 4:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kgsharber
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 4:45 PM

 Not only was that your child, but that was her grandchild. I cannot believe she spoke that way! You are completely in the right.

Caffeineplease
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 4:54 PM

 im sorry she is so insensitive, i think you are dealing with it in the best way you can.

ErikaM27
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:16 PM


Quoting kgsharber:

 Not only was that your child, but that was her grandchild. I cannot believe she spoke that way! You are completely in the right.


well she admitted she told her girls that so that she would "teach" them a lesson to help her out in other words help me or the same thing will happen to you. I guess sometimes I feel like maybe I was wrong and I should have just ignored it but then again if she talked like that about my miscarriage I can only imagine what she would say of my boys if she was around them. Just I guess I always wonder if I'm wrong if I should try and work things out with her.

Tazz2
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:18 PM

I don't talk to mine unless I AB SO FREAKEN LUTELY  have to.  don't blame you at all.

Crazy4Mustangs
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:21 PM


Quoting kgsharber:

 Not only was that your child, but that was her grandchild. I cannot believe she spoke that way! You are completely in the right.

I do NOT blame you AT ALL for not speaking to her after she said something so horrible to you. I would have knocked the bitch out cold.

CafeMom Tickers
futureshock
by Emerald Member on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:24 PM

You probably save yourself from a lot of grief over the years by not talking to her.  I think you did the right thing.

bablondie
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:25 PM

She's obviously NOT the type you can work things out. move on, don't beat yourself up over it you are not missing out on anything but more heartache if you open old wounds.

Quoting ErikaM27:

 

Quoting kgsharber:

 Not only was that your child, but that was her grandchild. I cannot believe she spoke that way! You are completely in the right.


well she admitted she told her girls that so that she would "teach" them a lesson to help her out in other words help me or the same thing will happen to you. I guess sometimes I feel like maybe I was wrong and I should have just ignored it but then again if she talked like that about my miscarriage I can only imagine what she would say of my boys if she was around them. Just I guess I always wonder if I'm wrong if I should try and work things out with her.


ErikaM27
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:30 PM


Quoting bablondie:

She's obviously NOT the type you can work things out. move on, don't beat yourself up over it you are not missing out on anything but more heartache if you open old wounds.

Quoting ErikaM27:

 

Quoting kgsharber:

 Not only was that your child, but that was her grandchild. I cannot believe she spoke that way! You are completely in the right.


well she admitted she told her girls that so that she would "teach" them a lesson to help her out in other words help me or the same thing will happen to you. I guess sometimes I feel like maybe I was wrong and I should have just ignored it but then again if she talked like that about my miscarriage I can only imagine what she would say of my boys if she was around them. Just I guess I always wonder if I'm wrong if I should try and work things out with her.

 

very true

tere1076
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:37 PM

sometimes mil'scan say the darnest things.some dont really care who they hurt or how. just live your life the best way u know how and if that's without her in it so be it.

i wouldnt apologize to her if i were you. u didnt do anything wrong. the one who should be apologizing and thanking you is her.she sounds like a money hungry granny.

LaySea
by on Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:47 PM


Quoting Tazz2:

I don't talk to mine unless I AB SO FREAKEN LUTELY  have to.  don't blame you at all.


Me too and it has been 2 years and 1 month since I have had to.  So nice.  I do feel sorry that my kids don't have much of a relationship with her, but the few times she calls she never asks about them.

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