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thoughts on anti-marriage party

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM
  • 26 Replies

so I have come to the conclusion that I do not want the legalities and papers of marriage. I do however want the big huge "reception" with the dress and a cake and blah blah.. so ive came up with the idea of an anti-marriage situation. You and your partner stay together like youre married, but there are no divorces, papers, lawyers, etc. The reception would be an anti marriage party and you could always celebrate your 10 yr anti marriage anniverseary!       what you do you think about this idea? lol . I told my friend i was going to go into business as an anti-marriage party planner!

Proud Mommy to Jadyn

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
imthatgirl728
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:29 AM

Sounds like you just want all the gifts...without an actual reason to receive them.

ccspiratemama
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:29 AM

I think it is a great idea! I had actually thought of something similar, I called it a pretend wedding :-) 

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little.knickers
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:33 AM

I don't see what the problem with the papers and legal side of thing is if you are serious about a partner and intend on spending your life with them...? I see them as some sort of recognition of the committment the two of you have made to eachother...and married people have so many more rights and entittlements than single people (at least in the UK).

Seems like you want the attention of being the bride....the spotlight etc, without having to promise anything.

I'm not married, but we have every intention of getting wed in the next year or so :)

gardenchic
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:35 AM

very interesting... but not for me, ALL OR NOTHING FOR ME!

BigMamaHeidi
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:36 AM

Why dont you want to get married? Just curious... I mean, hell, if you want the party, reception, dress, etc... what's a $30-$50 marriage license fee? Sounds like you want to be married, but fear divorce. All healthy relationships espouse honesty, integrity, fidelity, sacrifice and compromise... if you're both willing to put that into your relationship and want the pomp of a wedding...

Again, just curious. You definitely have an unorthodox idea, that's for sure.

Greenstone920
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:44 AM

Although I get where you're coming from, if people who aren't married were to split up, there would still be custody battles, child support, etc.  Not to mention if for some reason your partner was to end up in the hospital or even die, you wouldn't have a legal standing to make any decisions for them, it would fall to their biological relatives.  I'm of the opposite mind set I guess, we just wanted the legal paperwork out of the way, and didn't really care about having a big celebration.  Our wedding cost us less than $100, because we only had to pay for the license, and a few little things, and we were married by a friend in another friend's backyard. 

Summer04
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:45 AM

Sorry I don't find it to be a good idea.

For me being w/my husband meant marrying him, loving him, committing to him. 

So having an anti-marriage party just really doesn't sound like you love someone!  It sounds like the relationship is just one big joke!

Also, I do have to say it sounds really greedy and really lazy.  Seriously what paperwork? We filled out a form paid $30 & got our marriage liscense, that's it! Nothing to it! 

As for divorce, I wasn't married to my ex.  However, we were together for 7yrs.  We still had to divide up property (he was being an ass....which is why we split) so I still had to get a lawyer to protect my ass & all of my purchases!  So not being married doesn't always make things much easier! 

I'm sorry if you love someone truly, if you want to spend the rest of your life w/them then that means marriage!  Especially if you want the dress and the party! 

I don't see the point in not going all the way then. 

And yes the whole "anti marriage" party really makes your relationship sound unloving.

BigMamaHeidi
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:48 AM

Same here. Went down to the courthouse, applied for the license (can be done same-day in Warren, OH), paid the $43 fee, and had a friend who works for our Congressman (and is legally allowed to marry folks) handle the so-called "ceremony" at a local park with two of my sisters as "witnesses".

Quoting Greenstone920:

Although I get where you're coming from, if people who aren't married were to split up, there would still be custody battles, child support, etc.  Not to mention if for some reason your partner was to end up in the hospital or even die, you wouldn't have a legal standing to make any decisions for them, it would fall to their biological relatives.  I'm of the opposite mind set I guess, we just wanted the legal paperwork out of the way, and didn't really care about having a big celebration.  Our wedding cost us less than $100, because we only had to pay for the license, and a few little things, and we were married by a friend in another friend's backyard. 


lifehappy
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:49 AM

How about just calling it a committment ceremony? Anti-marriage just sounds hard...and who's really going to take that seriously?

 

chjack123
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:58 AM

Well I don't see what your fear is about getting married, but that's your choice. If I got an "anti-marriage" invite from a friend first I would wonder if she was inviting me to some sort of protest where I should bring a picket sign and be prepared to be tear gassed by riot police. (So if you are going to do this you need to find a new name.) But then once I figured it out, my next response would be, "I'm not buying her gifts so she could play house! What's next parties for kids who are going steady in Jr. high?!" Sorry, IMO.

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