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I seriously need some advice. Don't know what to do.

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:05 AM
  • 9 Replies

Ok mama's,  It's been a while since I've been on here.  Life seems to get in the way and well now, it is a mess.

My family is in a predicament.  My brother-in-law's ex (and mother of his child) recently went to jail on a drug charge.  Well while there the girls were taken away from her by CPS.  At that point my brother-in-law picked up his daughter because he didn't approve of the person she was staying with.  Well as of the end of last month, he was evicted from his place of residence.  He asked if we would take his daughter (the mother is out of jail, but CPS says she can only have supervised visitation).  So no problem.  We rearranged my daughter's room, got a bunk bed, a bigger dresser, bought her some winter clothes and a coat as she had none, etc.  A few days before our niece was to come live with us the mother decided she didn't like that idea.  She REFUSED to give us permission to re-enroll the child in school (so I am home schooling her as I do with my children).  My brother-in-law supposedly according to CPS has no rights to say where he wants his child to live because it's not a case against him!  I don't get that at all.  He is the father, on the birth certificate, AND they have joint custody on file with the court system.

The mother came over to visit last night and all looked good.  I thought she was going to go ahead and give me permission to enroll her in school, but NO!  Her daughter does NOT want to live where the mother wants her to be.  When the subject comes up my niece gets extremely upset to the point of hyperventilation.  I can't in good conscience send a child somewhere that makes them that upset.  Oh, she is almost 9 years old by the way.

So here we are neither the father nor the mother are able to care for this child.  Is there anything legally my husband and I can do to make the mother give us permission to enroll the child in school?  She is obviously still not thinking clearly if she expects me to believe that her daughter doesn't want to live somewhere simply because he "enforces the rules."  I enforce rules around here BIG TIME!  She loves being here at my house.  What can I do?  Is there anything I can do?

Thanks for your help, ladies.  I really appreciate it.

 

I'm a home schooling, baking, cake decorating, work from home, babysitting, boo-boo kissing, "taxi" driving, meal plan using, low fat cooking, chemical free product using, free to enjoy life, fun loving mamma of Skyler and Destiny, and wife to William. 

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:05 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Crystallynn
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:08 AM

I didnt realize the mother could "refuse" anything if the child wasnt in their custody.  You could go to CPS or Social Services and see about getting temporary guardianship or legal guardianship then by law, the child would be your responsibilty and the decisions to be made concerning her well-being would be yours. 

HLoeffler08
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:11 AM

That sounds like a good idea.

Quoting Crystallynn:

I didnt realize the mother could "refuse" anything if the child wasnt in their custody.  You could go to CPS or Social Services and see about getting temporary guardianship or legal guardianship then by law, the child would be your responsibilty and the decisions to be made concerning her well-being would be yours. 


janetmwright
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:12 AM

We went to CPS last week to try to get permission from them just to put her in school and we were told we HAD to take her to where the mother said!  That's when my niece nearly made her self sick in my car crying.  I can't do that to her, and I won't.  CPS didn't take her from my custody while we were there, so now they are going to have to fight me to get her.  I'm at a loss for what I can legally do.

 

I'm a home schooling, baking, cake decorating, work from home, babysitting, boo-boo kissing, "taxi" driving, meal plan using, low fat cooking, chemical free product using, free to enjoy life, fun loving mamma of Skyler and Destiny, and wife to William. 

matofour
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:16 AM

Sadly there is not much you can do.

The mother has not signed away her rights, therefore her mother is the one that technically makes the calls with the child.

I would find a lawyer, and start documenting anything and everything you can.
Just be warned it is very hard to prove a case to take away parental rights, if there is no outright abuse.   Your brother should have just as many rights as the mother, and I would most definitely find a lawyer.

Hope it works out, but be prepared for a lot of stress, dealing with CPS, and this sort of thing can take a long time, and be very heartbreaking!

alexa_n_mommy
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:19 AM

All I can reccomend is get a lawyer. Go to court and start documenting everything. Anything that either parents says, does, doesn't do etc. Your situation is very complicated and everything so a lawyer would be the most help. I wish you luck!

Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker

mommy2twoangel
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:23 AM
The best thing you can do is contact a lawyer with experience in this field. He is the one that can tell you what your legal rights are and how to get them. Good LUck
corsetedwife
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:26 AM

I would definately call child services.  Everything is different from state to state.  I dealt with this myself when I couldn't get my own daughter into school due to her birth mother giving me crap.  I just began homeschooling her and told the state I was doing so - she was living with me anyway.  It finally got cleared up.  You need all your facts and you need child services helping that little girl by helping you.

Starfire73
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:36 AM

I wish I could give you some info, but all I can offer is a shoulder to lean on. I hope and pray the best for you girl! And as the op said, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!!!!

janetmwright
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 1:10 PM

Thanks everyone.  Does anyone know of how to get a very inexpensive attorney?  We have tried all we know of and everyone wants a minimum of $2500 retainer.  We just don't have that kind of money.  I would do anything for this child (as I would for my own) and would never put a price tag on any of them, but when you don't have it, you just don't have it.

Thanks again.

I'm a home schooling, baking, cake decorating, work from home, babysitting, boo-boo kissing, "taxi" driving, meal plan using, low fat cooking, chemical free product using, free to enjoy life, fun loving mamma of Skyler and Destiny, and wife to William. 

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