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If your ex was to change, would you re-marry him?

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:43 PM
  • 8 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you reconsider getting back with him/her?

Options:

Yes, I would want to keep my original vows

No, once the divorce was final, I was done no matter what

Its possible, but not probable

Other


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Total Votes: 14

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My parents were married for 16 years, and then divorced for 11. They were just re-married this year after dating eachother for a little less than a year. They were never married to anyone else during the divorce, but also were not speaking with eachother for 90% of it (and I mean NO contact, ugly divorce!). But once they realized that eachother had changed, they realized that they still wanted to fufill their marriage commitement to eachother. They seem to be very happy, and Im happy for them. My question is this, if you have ever been married and divorced (or something similar), if you realized that your Ex had changed the way you had originally needed him to, would you be willing to reconsider the marriage again?

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:43 PM
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Replies (1-8):
southernjess3
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:45 PM

hell no..he could become a pastor of a church and i wouldnt even have a good feeling tward him..i hold grudges. big ones. i never forget the past

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jenniepepsi
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:46 PM

no. it didnt work out the first time for a reason. if its not going to work its just not going to work no matter hwo much either party changes.

ryleesmommy2009
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:47 PM

i have always said if it didn't work the first time it wouldn't work the second so no if we went through with the divorce that would be it

allyson2212
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:47 PM


Quoting southernjess3:

hell no..he could become a pastor of a church and i wouldnt even have a good feeling tward him..i hold grudges. big ones. i never forget the past


I seem to remember your post the other day about him. In your case, I dont blame you, it sounds like you went through hell with him!

southernjess3
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:48 PM

it wasnt just him..it was his father too

Quoting allyson2212:


Quoting southernjess3:

hell no..he could become a pastor of a church and i wouldnt even have a good feeling tward him..i hold grudges. big ones. i never forget the past


I seem to remember your post the other day about him. In your case, I dont blame you, it sounds like you went through hell with him!


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SunnyJoJo
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:49 PM

I'm not divorced but my husband lives in a different state. And I've often thought of this question. He has so many issues I don't think I could really truely trust that he would "stay changed". I feel like it's different for every person, my husband would probably change for a month and then go back to his issues. So it's possible but not likely. I'd entertain the idea but would I go through with it, probably not.

Our family is little and broken, but still good.

kyco363
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:50 PM

Repeated frustrations and disappointments, are always a reflection of repeated misunderstandings and presumptions. I think its awesome that your parents kept their vows eventually and were able to finally get passed their misunderstandings.

allyson2212
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:54 PM


Quoting kyco363:

Repeated frustrations and disappointments, are always a reflection of repeated misunderstandings and presumptions. I think its awesome that your parents kept their vows eventually and were able to finally get passed their misunderstandings.

Me too, Im glad to see them happy again. I knew that my mom was never "over" my Dad, and I knew that if my dad could get past his resentments in the divorce then he would be more open to a second try. They had a LOT of issues to work on, and I dont think they realized how much progress each of them made on their own until they started talking again. It gave me new faith in "soul mates" so to speak.

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