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I'm just frustrated..

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 1:46 PM
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I want another baby. I really do. But we don't have the space. We live in a 2 bedroom 1 1/2 bath townhouse with a backyard.. large kitchen and living room.. but it's not enough for 4 people. Sure there are families of four people that live in them.. our neighbor had her and her two kids plus 3 other relatives living with her.. but i can't see how they make that work. All the houses in good areas or where we want to live are about 50,000 more than we can afford. There are a ton of HUGE nice houses.. but of course they are all in the areas where violence occurs.. and i'm sure that's why they are so cheap anyway. It just frustrates me. I feel like we are going to be renting forever and never have a house of our own. When i apply for loans i am told i don't have enough credit history..and  my fiance has awful credit.I just want to pull my hair out. I just want a freaking house. It doesn't have to be a mansion.. but something. Please. I just feel bad that not having a bigger place is keeping us from expanding our family. And i'm just tired of hearing about everyone else having a baby.. and we can't. I know i'm only 21 and i have a lot of time to have more babies.. but i don't want to wait. I don't even feel like i'm 21.. i feel like i'm nearing 30 and i'm running out of time. I love where we live now.. it's great. But it's just not enough for what i want. I guess we could make it happen.. but i wouldn't want that.. i want to have a house.. of my own. I'm so jealous of what other people have. I hate that i drive down the road and see a bajillion houses for sale and imagining us living in them and what all i would do to it.. but then realizing it won't happen because it's out of our price range. We currently live out in the country. Most houses come with a lot of land. Both our families are only minutes up the street.. and we like that. We want to stay close. We want to live in the country. I'm just so mad at myself for not being able to get a house..

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 1:46 PM
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