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I think I hurt my hubby *edited* (in orange)

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:05 PM
  • 13 Replies

So last night I was talking with my hubby. I told him about how depressions works. I told him that while in "recovery" you have to find yourself again. You have to go through a long and hard process of figuring out who you are and what you like and where you would like to go from here and such. He then said ok and we started dicussing how we could do this together. Well we got to the end and it wound up with me telling him I just realized "That I need a man that not only says that he loves me but shows it as well." He looked so hurt all he did was curl up to my side wrap his arms around mine and say "But I do love you."

I think I really hurt him. What do I do. He won't admit that I hurt him so I am not sure if I did or not

Last night I did it again. I said something mean but is was true. I told him that he has stopped fighting for me. That when were dating he was trying to woe me and that is how he used to show that he loved me. Now it seems like he is in the mood that why should he try because he's got me already. I think he thinks I will never leave. Well I don't plan on ever leaving but just because he put a ring on my finger doesn't mean it is going to stay. He doesn't have to do everything that he used to cause I mean people do change but I want him to keep fighting like i do. I mean if I stopped fighting and another woman came along and started fighting for him who do you think he would choose. I think he would choose the woman who is willing to fight for him ans since I stopped because I thought he would never leave then that would mean the other woman would win. Just because you are married does not mean you give up the fight, yeah he fought to get me and now he has me but he still has to fight to keep me. kwim?

Brandi wife to John








 Mother to Joshua, Aurora, Jacob, And 3 Angel Babies

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KT9105
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:08 PM

wow that's harsh.  I don't know how you can fix it.  good luck.

Caffeineplease
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:09 PM

: ) that's so cute..I would reassure him that you love him and that you were just confiding in him and being open with your feelings and tell him your sorry if I hurt you.. and give him a big hug and a kiss hehe

mommy020507
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:10 PM

no its not harsh, he needs to know how you feel. i feel the same and i think its depression talk.  as long as hes trying

kimber2431
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:10 PM

AWWWW..... just reassure him that you love him tons and tell him you didnt mean to hurt his feelings. If you worry about hurting him all the time then you won't have any type of communication. try telling him that you need to work on showing him that you love him as well its a joint thing. maybe make a date night ( once the kids are in bed do something with eachother , not just THAT. ) i think if you reassure him that you don't feel like youv'e done a good job showing him you love him he won't be as hurt : Good luck momma

Susan262
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:12 PM

WOW, I don't know.  Just tell him that you do love him, and you know that he loves you as well.

adamjackie
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:13 PM

Aww I do not think you need to make it right. There is nothing wrong with what you said, that is true and how you feel. I think it is super sweet his reaction to it. Give him a few days to think about what you said (men need longer to think on things) then tell him you want to know how he fealt when you said that. Reassure him you love him and are not planning on going anywhere.


nurbabe82
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:15 PM

Well you being honest and if you don't feel like he shows you then you have the right to tell him that. I am sure it hurt his feelings to be told this. You could just say to him it wasn't your intention to hurt him and that your sorry if it did. He sounds pretty understanding from how he reacted to hearing that. 

spcjones203
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:15 PM

I don't think you hurt his feelings THAT bad, I think he just attempted to show you that he DOES love you and will show it. So, best bet is to give him some extra lovin's, make him a special dinner and some nookie. And just reassure him that you love him very much and PRAISE HIM for showing his love! Praise, praise, praise!

MsPsychotic
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 7:15 PM

Just assure him that you know he loves you because he says he does, but you need him to also show that he loves you.

Remind him of when the two of you dated. Did he ever bring you a flower, for no reason? Give you a card, just to say he loves you? Do something nice like wash your car or take out the trash? Remind him of that time of dating and say that you'd like those things to be part of your lives again and in return you'll also try harder to show him that you love him.

goodnightmama
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:32 PM

We met up at Job Corps and he was a real sweetheart when we were dating. One weekend his mom came and picked him up for ice fishing with his dad and that was the first weekend we spent apart since we had gotten together. He returned with one red rose and one white rose and handed them to me the moment he got back and then put his arms around me and said that he does not want to spend that long away from me again. He used to sneak a kiss in any time he could, and would always hold me close to him, he always stood up for me, and made sure he said goodbye/goodnight with an I love you and a kiss. He also used to always want to fix anything that was wrong with me no matter what it was and made sure each man that was around me treated me like a lady. Now he acts like he could care less. See what I mean and why I said it.

Quoting MsPsychotic:

Just assure him that you know he loves you because he says he does, but you need him to also show that he loves you.

Remind him of when the two of you dated. Did he ever bring you a flower, for no reason? Give you a card, just to say he loves you? Do something nice like wash your car or take out the trash? Remind him of that time of dating and say that you'd like those things to be part of your lives again and in return you'll also try harder to show him that you love him.


Brandi wife to John








 Mother to Joshua, Aurora, Jacob, And 3 Angel Babies

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