Title is sorta tongue in cheek but really ..I am Just sorta wondering about step children now. I have seen the post about saying married when your not and so now I wonder if your kids are legally step kids do you need to say "My "Step"-child.." or I have three bio kids and two STEP kids or can you just say I have five kids? Or maybe it depends on the relationship you have with the person your talking to . Like someone you will probably not see again it doesn't matter but closer friends it does matter ..OR Maybe it depends on the relationship with the step children. For example if their bio parent passed away and you have raised them for years compared to a child who See's birth parents often..etc.. THOUGHTS ???
i would have to say it depends on your relationship with the child and how said child feels about you. I think that if the child is old enough ask them how they want to be addressed bc if they are present and they love you and feel equal to your bio children addressing them as a step-child could seriously hurt them.
I have a nephew like you (wait. nephew-in-law to be technical?). He tells my son things like, "he's not really your grandpa" and "I'm the only REAL grandson" and "she's your HALF-sister."
The difference is, he's 8 and doesn't understand that it's impolite and unnecessary. You're an adult with a stick up her ass about some injustice or hurt probably incurred a long time ago that you never got over.
Quoting PLATINUM_BEAUTY:
I would say I have "how many ever number of kids" and then state "how ever many of my own" and "how ever man" step-kids. Otherwise it is assumed you are the mother and I think it's wrong to state such.
When people ask how many kids I have I say WE have 6 kids between us....Personally I do NOT count his kids as mine..they never lived with us never hardly stayed with us....were really hateful and mean to me til they became adults and now we hear from them maybe once a year so I don't feel any attachment to them.... Where as Jaz has lived with Dan since she was 7 and he treats her as his own can calls her his daughter...
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I think it really depends on the relationship with the child. Personally, I say we have 4 children between us- I have two, SO has 4. Since we're not married and I don't really have a motherly relationship with the kids, I don't consider myself anything other than their siblings' mom. If I had raised the step kids, I'd say I have 4 kids, so it's really just situational.
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I think it depends on the relationship between the step-parent and the child and what is most comfortable for the child (and the step-parent), and the context of the situation in which you're explaining it. From my experience as the child in that situation, it really does depend. My stepdad refers to me and my younger brother as his daughter and son - and I have no issues with that, I consider him to be more of a father than my real dad. Now, if my stepmother referred to me as just her daughter, and did not differentiate that I am actually only her step-daughter, I would be beyond upset. I am not her daughter, I do NOT like her, I have chosen for my own sanity not to speak to her for going on six years, and I am not her child - period. Of course I don't have to worry about her even acknowledging me, as we hate each other, but yeah I would consider it inappropriate for her to assert that I was her daughter. No, I'm not. So because of my experiences with both situations, I have to say it would depend on the relationship between the step-parent and the child and how both feel about it.
My brothers are technically my dads step sons, however he's raised one since he was a year and the other since he was 3 so my dad says that they are his sons in everything that counts...though he has resently adopted them in the last 10 years because their dad finally signed away rights
My oldest is still technically my husband's step son (he plans on adopting him) but as far as Eric is concerned Bryce is his.
My younger brother have always been considered my step fathers kids.
Quoting lillitigator88:
.. they love you and feel equal to your bio children addressing them as a step-child could seriously hurt them.
That thought came up for me as well .
Also if a parent died when a child was to young to remember it could be awkward until their older ,or maybe not, but each family is different. I just don't think that dropping the "Step" is necessarily "dishonest" since there can be so many reasons for it.
I have a friend who has a step daughter she asked him if she can call him "Daddy" she's 15 -16 her father walked away a long , long time ago . So now he calls her just his daughter and imo if he said step-daughter she would be crushed. Most of the close family and friends know but I don't think it's "Dishonest" that he doesn't fill everyone in. So I was just wondering what others thought..thanks.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- Tatum2U
on Nov. 14, 2009 at 12:57 PM