Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

need help dealing with neighbor boys

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:55 AM
  • 10 Replies

okay so DS is 2 (just turned 2) and we have a neighbor who lives with her parents who has 2 boys, 5 and 4 and one on the way. my son loves going over there to play with those boys, it is literally what he lives for the moment he wakes up. i take him over to play with them every day and it always makes me sooo freaking mad.

first, the boys are horribly mean to my son and throw huge tantrums when he tries to play with any of their toys. YET when they come over to our house they act like everything we own is theirs and just start taking things and pushing my son away and crying when he is playing with one of his OWN things that they want to play with. we have a swing set and they cry when he is on one of the two swings because they both cant swing at the same time. they have a power wheels type thing and will give my son like a 1 minute ride and make him get off while they go on like a 15 minute ride...my son waits patiently asking when his turn is and by the time they let him on it is about to die anyways. they have absolutely no manners and are just so rude to everyone. they say things like "we dont like him we dont want to play with him" and as soon as i say well if you dont like him then there is no reason to come over to his house and play with his things, and they will be like "oh just kidding we do like him"

it is just sooo frustrating because the mother doesnt do anything at all. they will take toys from my son right in front of her and she will just sit there and let my son cry over it and not say anything to her sons.

it is getting to the point where i hate even letting him go over there but we live soo close and you can see them playing outside all the time from our window and my son just cries and cries to go outside and play with them.

i have no idea how to handle this situation! please any advice!

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:55 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ommy47
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:59 AM

Plan and simple, do not let your son play with those boys anymore. Nothing you do will change how those boys are. Maybe try to find your son a play group instead?

exceptalilfish
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:00 AM

well it isnt so plain and simple when they live like 20 feet from us, they are always outside

Quoting ommy47:

Plan and simple, do not let your son play with those boys anymore. Nothing you do will change how those boys are. Maybe try to find your son a play group instead?


ommy47
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:03 AM

Yes it is. I have been there. You just say I am sorry but he cannot play with you. Or I am sorry you cannot play with them. Your son will start picking up those habits

Quoting exceptalilfish:

well it isnt so plain and simple when they live like 20 feet from us, they are always outside

Quoting ommy47:

Plan and simple, do not let your son play with those boys anymore. Nothing you do will change how those boys are. Maybe try to find your son a play group instead?



exceptalilfish
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:05 AM

i know you are right, it is just going to be so hard! the last thing i want is for him to start acting like they do.

Quoting ommy47:

Yes it is. I have been there. You just say I am sorry but he cannot play with you. Or I am sorry you cannot play with them. Your son will start picking up those habits

Quoting exceptalilfish:

well it isnt so plain and simple when they live like 20 feet from us, they are always outside

Quoting ommy47:

Plan and simple, do not let your son play with those boys anymore. Nothing you do will change how those boys are. Maybe try to find your son a play group instead?

 

 


FooLynRoo
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:07 AM


Quoting exceptalilfish:

okay so DS is 2 (just turned 2) and we have a neighbor who lives with her parents who has 2 boys, 5 and 4 and one on the way. my son loves going over there to play with those boys, it is literally what he lives for the moment he wakes up. i take him over to play with them every day and it always makes me sooo freaking mad.

first, the boys are horribly mean to my son and throw huge tantrums when he tries to play with any of their toys. YET when they come over to our house they act like everything we own is theirs and just start taking things and pushing my son away and crying when he is playing with one of his OWN things that they want to play with. we have a swing set and they cry when he is on one of the two swings because they both cant swing at the same time. they have a power wheels type thing and will give my son like a 1 minute ride and make him get off while they go on like a 15 minute ride...my son waits patiently asking when his turn is and by the time they let him on it is about to die anyways. they have absolutely no manners and are just so rude to everyone. they say things like "we dont like him we dont want to play with him" and as soon as i say well if you dont like him then there is no reason to come over to his house and play with his things, and they will be like "oh just kidding we do like him"

it is just sooo frustrating because the mother doesnt do anything at all. they will take toys from my son right in front of her and she will just sit there and let my son cry over it and not say anything to her sons.

it is getting to the point where i hate even letting him go over there but we live soo close and you can see them playing outside all the time from our window and my son just cries and cries to go outside and play with them.

i have no idea how to handle this situation! please any advice!


There isn't a magic button. You can either

1) Do not allow him to play with the boys, and do not let the boys over to your house

or

2) Let your son play with who he wants, and hope that he wisens up, or works things out on his own.

You're not going to change the other boys, you aren't going to get their mother to change.

 

exceptalilfish
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:20 AM

bump

ommy47
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:20 AM

It sucks but he is young enough that as long as you direct his attention to something else he will catch on to that something else.

Quoting exceptalilfish:

i know you are right, it is just going to be so hard! the last thing i want is for him to start acting like they do.

Quoting ommy47:

Yes it is. I have been there. You just say I am sorry but he cannot play with you. Or I am sorry you cannot play with them. Your son will start picking up those habits

Quoting exceptalilfish:

well it isnt so plain and simple when they live like 20 feet from us, they are always outside

Quoting ommy47:

Plan and simple, do not let your son play with those boys anymore. Nothing you do will change how those boys are. Maybe try to find your son a play group instead?





chjack123
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:24 AM

I know you can't keep him inside all of the time, so try to fill his schedule with playgroups and other activites to help him seperate from playing with his "friends" just for a week or two.

-xoxo-
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:27 AM

I've had an issue like this before and I just told my dd that the girl was mean and that she couldn't play with her any more. If we were playing outside and the girl asked if my dd could play I said, "No she can not, you are mean to her and that is unacceptable." I said it right in front of the kids mom, I could care less what she thinks. 

exceptalilfish
by on Nov. 17, 2009 at 8:47 PM

bump

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)