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Child support/visitation?

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:44 PM
  • 9 Replies

     So my brother just got out of court with his ex-girlfriend of 8 years.  They have 3 kids together Becca 5, Emma 3, and bobby 1 1/2.  She moved out in Feb. when he caught her cheating on him with another man and that was the last time my brother has seen his kids or her for that matter.  Since moving out she has had a little baby girl with the guy she was cheating on my brother with, moved in with her mother in a two bedroom trailer where her brother and his kids live at as well and had to go to court for a drug charge.  He was going to court today to get visitation rights with his 3 kids.  He got visitaion but not what he hoped.  He gets 3 hours of supervised visitation a week which he has to pay for.  He got ordered to pay her $804 a month in child support on top of having to pay all her lawyer fees as well as his own lawyer fees.  My brother only makes $1,600 a month and she claimed to be making $1,000 a month working part time.  I think my brother got screwed.  They are taking over half of his paycheck a month, making him pay to see his kids 3 hours a week while being supervised and making him pay her lawyer fees.  They aren't going to review the case for another year.  So until then he is stuck only being able to see his kids 3 hours a week supervised.  He didn't deserve it.  He was always a good daddy to those kids busting his butt to support those kids when they were together.  I feel for him I really do.  What do you all think?  

                                                  

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:44 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Gabeys_Mommy
by Silver Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:45 PM

I think he should attempt to go for full custody. She sounds like a nut.

lorilovesya
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:45 PM

Why are the visits supervised?

newagemom700
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:50 PM

I think that his case wasnt presented properly, and he should fight her on it. with 3 kids that is a reasonable amount of child support to be paying (IMO)....but as far as SUPERVISED visits for only 3 hours...that is ridiculous! why are they supervised?

Kageegirl
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:51 PM


Quoting lorilovesya:

Why are the visits supervised?

     My brother hasn't seen his kids in 9 months.  There son is only 15 months old.  There son hasn't seen my brother since he was 6 months old.  They are worried that it might be damaging to him to be taken away from his mom over night to stay with someone he doesn't know.  Also about 3 months ago his ex called DFS on him saying that when they were together he abused her and the children.  She said that he choke slammed my 3 year old niece to the ground because he was angry for no reason.  DFS found the alligations to be false but still because of all of that he got supervised visitations.

                                                  

Saloria
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:52 PM

No no! Have your brother go to the Attorney Generals Office if he cannot afford representation himself. Number 1 they cannot exceed 50% of his income in child support. Standard rates are 20% for the first child and 5% for each additional child as long as the amount does not exceed 50% of his total gross income. Since you say he makes around 1600 he should be paying 480 dollars a month roughly and unless he was a danger to the children he should not have to have supervised visits. I go in for my court date with STBX tomorrow. I did all the paperwork and kept everything standard even though HE cheated on ME. But blame is never good for the kids. We have two kids and he makes around 3800-4000 a month more then double what your brother makes and I will be getting 951.58. So yes your brother got very screwed. I also put down that my ex and I were responsible for our own court costs. Even though I was told I could have made my ex pay for all of it and spousal support which I refused. Your brother can get a free consultation from a lawyer and the Attorney Generals Office works with Child Support orders. I would definitly advise getting some free legal advice. And maybe trying to get custody. Best wishes to your brother. What state is your brother in btw? I can look up the state guidelines.

MsPsychotic
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 3:01 PM

I've never heard of supervised visitations unless there is proof of the parent being somehow unfit. Granted, I've heard of temporary orders of supervised visitation if one parent makes up some bogus claim, but once the claim is unfounded the temporary order is void.

I'm not understanding how he has to pay for visitation rights? You either get visitation rights or you don't.

I do think $804 a month is a bit steep. I used a child support calculator for where I live now ($598 - Louisiana) and where I used to live ($634 - Washington). I wonder where your brother lives? They've got some steep child support laws.

If he took her to court, then it makes sense that she'd ask to have her lawyers fees covered. I know that every time my ex-husband drags me back to court for something, I ask that he covers the fees.

Overall, just from the information you provided, I think your brother got the shit end of the stick.

Kageegirl
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 3:09 PM

 

Quoting Saloria:

No no! Have your brother go to the Attorney Generals Office if he cannot afford representation himself. Number 1 they cannot exceed 50% of his income in child support. Standard rates are 20% for the first child and 5% for each additional child as long as the amount does not exceed 50% of his total gross income. Since you say he makes around 1600 he should be paying 480 dollars a month roughly and unless he was a danger to the children he should not have to have supervised visits. I go in for my court date with STBX tomorrow. I did all the paperwork and kept everything standard even though HE cheated on ME. But blame is never good for the kids. We have two kids and he makes around 3800-4000 a month more then double what your brother makes and I will be getting 951.58. So yes your brother got very screwed. I also put down that my ex and I were responsible for our own court costs. Even though I was told I could have made my ex pay for all of it and spousal support which I refused. Your brother can get a free consultation from a lawyer and the Attorney Generals Office works with Child Support orders. I would definitly advise getting some free legal advice. And maybe trying to get custody. Best wishes to your brother. What state is your brother in btw? I can look up the state guidelines.

     It just kills me that she did what she did to him.  When they first seperated she went and got a restraining order against him so he couldn't see his kids.  She called DFS on him saying that he choke slammed their 3 year old daughter.  Which DFS found to be untrue.  She found out a week after leaving my brother that she was pregnant.  She didn't tell my brother that it might be his because they were intimate around the time she got pregnant.  She was also having sex with another guy.  Right after she left my brother she was posting nasty messages on her myspace about my brother.  She even had the nerve to right a letter to one of my brothers friends who happens to be a girl saying a bunch of untrue stuff about my brother things like he's abusive, he's a drug addict, he's a dead beat dad ect....He hasn't done nothing to her at all.  When she filed the report to DFS he went to DFS to write something up stating that he wanted to make sure his kids had a place to live, a bed to sleep in, medical care and food and he wanted to see his kids.  DFS said there is no probably cause for them to investigate her.  My brother told them how about my 3 year old getting a gash on the back of her head and the mother not taking her to get treated it should have had stitches but she said she didn't have time to deal with it.  He had pictures of the injury.  The injury accured after she moved out about 5 days after she moved out when they were still talking.  They said there was nothing they could do.  So yeah he's getting screwed big time in my book.

     As far as supervised visitaion goes he has to pay for a g. a. l. Someone who evalutes my brother and the children over a period of time and decides if it's in the childs best interest to be with the father for any length of time. I don't know how she pulled that one off but she did. She made up so many false alligations it wasn't funny but the judge bought everyone of them. It's sick!

                                                  

MsPsychotic
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:51 PM

Oh, so by "pay for his visitation" you mean he has to foot the bill for a GAL. Two different things. In Washington state (where I'm from and the only place that I'm familiar with the laws) if there are children involved with a divorce a GAL is manditory. Most of the time it's a 50/50 cost split, but sometimes one parent gets stuck with the full bill.

A GAL is a child advocate and a lawyer.. but not a lawyer for either party, they work on behalf of the child(ren) and report directly to the Judge. The Judge isn't require to rule off of what the GAL reports, but they take it heavily into consideration. So your Brother should jump through every hoop the GAL hangs for him, gladly.

Kageegirl
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2009 at 8:29 AM

     For me what happened to my brother hits home.  My husband has a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship.  He has to pay $355.00 a month in child support.  Grant you when the order was set he was making $15.50 an hour now he only makes $9.00 an hour.  That's a pretty big difference specially when it's taken directly out of his paycheck.  We struggle from time to time trying to pay our bills but you know what are child support is always paid because I see it as not her fault that he has to pay it.  We may not be able to afford our electric bills some months but at least we know she's being taken care with the money we give her.  It still gets me to know that they are living comfortable off our money when we are living in poverty, but what can I do. It's even worse to know that we don't even get to see her.  4 years ago he went on probation and got his visitation rights revoked.  It's a long story about getting put on probation but I can say it was for something that happened before he even knew he had a daughter.  He didn't find out he had a daugter until she was 1 1/2 years old.  So yeah I can totally feel what my brothers going through. 

            My Whole World

 

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