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I don't know what to do! Go ahead bash away...

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:14 PM
  • 66 Replies

My 4 year old is OUT OF CONTROL. No, seriously. She throws fits about everything and thinks she runs the house. She is rude to me, doesn't listen to me, and thinks she can do whatever she wants. She has been throwing fits so bad that she has actually bruised herself. She has a black eye now that she got from throwing one of her temper tantrums! She SLAPPED her 7 month old brother yesterday! I really don't know what to do! I have tried everything and I'm almost ready to resort to counseling. I have tried talking to her, time outs, light spankings (one pop on the rear), sending her to her room, taking toys/privileges away, rewarding her GOOD behavior (which only works long enough for her to get the reward), and so many other things.

Someone help! Please tell me there is something I can do! I'm not sure if there could be something wrong medically or if she's just acting out because of having a new baby brother. I refuse to put up with the way that she's acting, BUT I have no clue what to do! Has anyone ever dealt with this before?? What did you do???


SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!!!


by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ILive4This
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:15 PM

I like how you added "go ahead, bash away"....as if you need to give permission on this board :-)

mymomisthebomb
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:18 PM

I have a 12 year old who has been like this for years! He has middle man syndrome and we have actually taken him to counseling, and he is on his fourth different medicine in 5 years! He has severe ADHD, mood disorder, and ODD. We have also tried everything from spanking to beatings ( not really just giving someone something to talk about) and taking things away. He always thinks he is so mis treated but is far from that if anything we give him special attention because of his behavior but I would highly suggest maybe taking her to counseling becuase girlie it doesnt get any better, if anything it gets worse~

DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:19 PM

Wow! Talk about terrible 2's x 2!

What is it that she hate? My son hated not being able to touch or look at anything, so he got put in a chair where he couldn't see or touch anything. Worked wonders for him. All kids have something they don't like. My daughter hates to be grounded.

Find whatever it is she doesn't like and stick to it.

 

Mrs.Wasson
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:20 PM

I just know someone was going to start drama... It seems as if you post a sensitive subject, then you're going to get bashed...

Quoting ILive4This:

I like how you added "go ahead, bash away"....as if you need to give permission on this board :-)



mitch576
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM

i bet warming her ass would adjust that attitude.

she slapped a 7 month old infront of me.... she owuld need to call a proctologist to have my foot removed.

there's no excuse for such behavior. i have a 12 yr old with adhd, o.d.d. and pdd,nos {high functioning autism}

he IS  the type of kid who SHOULD be trying that stuff.

 but he doesn't.. because he knows better. and if he can know better having autism... yours can know better too.




 ADMIN FOR AUTISM, ASPERGER'S, PDD AWARENESS.





DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM

What is middle man syndrome? I'm just curious because that's a new one to me.

Quoting mymomisthebomb:

I have a 12 year old who has been like this for years! He has middle man syndrome and we have actually taken him to counseling, and he is on his fourth different medicine in 5 years! He has severe ADHD, mood disorder, and ODD. We have also tried everything from spanking to beatings ( not really just giving someone something to talk about) and taking things away. He always thinks he is so mis treated but is far from that if anything we give him special attention because of his behavior but I would highly suggest maybe taking her to counseling becuase girlie it doesnt get any better, if anything it gets worse~


judybant
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:23 PM

GET A REFERRAL TO A CHILDHOOD BEHAVIORALIST! It's the best damn thing my husband and I ever did! They taught us how to parent OUR child. Not those sweet, easy, compliant children everyone ELSE seems to have. They taught us how to deal with the stubborn, bullheaded little boy that was OURS.

WHile you wait for that to get rolling... find out where the nearest "Love and Logic" parenting clinic is to you. It's worth a 3 hour drive to go... TRUST me! If you can't get to a clinic, find the book(s) (I believe there are more than one out now) and/or find the book, "Making your children mind without losing yours" ... sorry, can't think of the author right now, but you can get it at a library with the title. Read the books, EMBRACE Them... and then be consistent with your daughter. When you say "you've tried everything"... that just tells me that you haven't been consistent with any ONE thing for long enough for it to actually work. Spankings are not evil. Correctly placed, sparcely used spankings are an awesome learning tool for a child. If, on the other hand, you spank every time they look at you wrong, eventually, they become ineffective. You can change up the discipline now and then, but you have to consistently discipline the bad behavior, and consistently reward the good. Doesn't matter how you do it, really, you just have to find out what deters, and motivates your child.

Good luck, Momma... and... i don't know how much your daughter sleeps, but with our son, about half of his problem was because he did not sleep. He couldn't turn off his brain to do so. He'd be awake until 1 or 2 in the morning, and be awake again at 7, with no naps after about 2 years old... we got him on melatonin to help him sleep, and within 2 weeks, it was almost like a different child in the house. He was well rested, and he COULD concentrate, and be happy... so make note of how much she sleeps, as well.  

Mrs.Wasson
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:23 PM

Oh wow. See that's what I have been wondering if maybe it's ADHD... I'm looking into counseling so maybe she can atleast talk it out with someone...

Quoting mymomisthebomb:

I have a 12 year old who has been like this for years! He has middle man syndrome and we have actually taken him to counseling, and he is on his fourth different medicine in 5 years! He has severe ADHD, mood disorder, and ODD. We have also tried everything from spanking to beatings ( not really just giving someone something to talk about) and taking things away. He always thinks he is so mis treated but is far from that if anything we give him special attention because of his behavior but I would highly suggest maybe taking her to counseling becuase girlie it doesnt get any better, if anything it gets worse~



mymomisthebomb
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:25 PM

Well I am open to suggestions as to how you help your son...........Not act like this!

ErikaM27
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:25 PM

my 4 yr old is like this exactly just a while ago I put him in time out and sat him down and he held on to my arm and tried to bite. He got a pop on the behind and I told him it's unacceptable he sat in time out and I told him to tell me what he did why he was in time out and he understood he said sorry I have a 7 month old too and he's mean to him sometimes. I really feel like it's just attention I spend extra special time with him. I go and play with him in his room and he loves it. I also give him choices. If you don't behave you don't get this, cartoons, toy etc. He understands there are choices that settles him down. I know how frustrating it is believe me. My dh works out of state and I'm with them 24/7 for weeks.

Do you want to vent? Join my group!! WTF

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