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He's trying to take her kids (kinda long)

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:03 PM
  • 7 Replies

I have this really good friend.  Well, her ex is a jerk who has had almost nothing to do with the kids for the last few years and had been paying the same amount of child support for the past 7yrs even thought he went up like three ranks.  Well, when she started to ask about it, he flipped out. A few weeks later he started to pick the kids up every other weekend for the first time since the divorce.  Then, suspiciously, police show up at her door one day.  They said that they got a report that she was a drug user and was putting her kids at risk and there were pills and needles everywhere.  Well, she is a diabetic so she did have needles under her sink so she had to go down to social services twice a month for drug testing for a while and the kids got pulled out of class in front of everyone one day and questioned by the police.  Of course she passed the tests and it all blew over.  Then, every time he had the kids he was questioning them.  What time do you go to bed at mommies?  What do you have for dinner at mommies?  Who does mommy talk to on the phone?  What do they talk about?  How do you get to school at mommies?  He also told her son who is ten, that the reason mommy and daddy broke up is because mommies has sex with another boyfriend. !!!! That is not true but even if it was WTF.  Her son was so stressed out from the mind games he started failing school. 

Well, then she gets papers served to her.  Her ex took her to court, and argued that she was giving the kids an unstable life style and it was affecting them.  The dealership she worked at closed and she lost her job.  She ended up losing her house and moving like three times last year.  She has a place now and has been in it for about six months and has a new job making good money and is getting on her feet.  But, he is military, was able to afford a lawyer (she went in alone) and he won and got full custody of the kids.  She now is supposed to get them every other weekend.

Then, after the court thing, he still left them with her every day.  So basically she has them but now he gets out of paying child support.  She of course is too scared to say anything because he can just take them away if she pisses him off.  Well anyway, he calls her today and told her he got orders to North Dakota and that he is going to take the kids with him.  Her 8yr old daughter doesn't even know him.  She literally is so uncomfortable when she goes to his house that she has started wetting her pants again because she doesn't want to ask him to go to the bathroom.  Grrrrrr!

Anyway, , I keep telling Candice that this can't happen.  That she is their mother and still has a right to her kids just as much as he does.  She keeps saying, "Yeah, but he is in  the military and they have their own set of rules."  Do you think that's true? 

I've also told her that the fact that he has left the kids with her totally contradicts his whole argument that she is to unstable to have the kids.  SHE NEEDS A LAWYER but can't afford one.  She lives in FL.  Is there anything available for ppl in her situation? 

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:03 PM
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Replies (1-7):
OxbAbIebxO
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:05 PM

No clue.. BUMP!

USMCBride08
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Unless its in the custody order that he's allowed to take them out of state, i dont technically think he can. Im pretty sure with military that it has to be a clause that they will move with him. And does she have proof that they're living with her now? Cuz if she can PROVE it *bills, etc* then she can file an emergency custody hearing. 

Is he remarried/steadily dating someone? Alot of times in the military, they try and keep single parents from taking their kids, due to the long hours and stress and whatnot.  And she should def fight it.

As for whether or not she can get help... im sure she can =] hell, maybe a lawyer will take her probono... GL to her 


proud 20 year old mommy to the love of my life Wyatt, born 01.08.09 and totally in love to my Marine Patrick since 01.10.08

AngelaVega
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:10 PM

The court system should have resources for people in her situation to get some kind of legal representation. I've heard awful things about Florida's family court system so I am nervous for her but if she's not doing anything wrong and taking care of the kids the way she should I don't think he can take the kids...I'm not sure though.

weddingtoddler boybaby girltwin girlsboy n girl
Angela:
Fiancee to Elijah <3
Mommy to Ethan & Lily :)
Stepmom to Marisa, Katie, Daniel & Emily!

FL2AK
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:12 PM

Military rules and regulations have absolutely nothing to do with custody battles.  She needs to get a backbone and go fight for her kids. 

jess_thorburn
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:19 PM

He was dating this girl for a while, but the week before the custody hearing, they got married at the court house.  convenient yes?

Quoting USMCBride08:

Unless its in the custody order that he's allowed to take them out of state, i dont technically think he can. Im pretty sure with military that it has to be a clause that they will move with him. And does she have proof that they're living with her now? Cuz if she can PROVE it *bills, etc* then she can file an emergency custody hearing. 

Is he remarried/steadily dating someone? Alot of times in the military, they try and keep single parents from taking their kids, due to the long hours and stress and whatnot.  And she should def fight it.

As for whether or not she can get help... im sure she can =] hell, maybe a lawyer will take her probono... GL to her 


perfectkitten
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:21 PM

That is crazy. It makes me sick that alot of men are getting custody of their children over their BS theories. What happened for him to have proof of anything or was it b/c she lost her job? Anyway I would get a lawyer and fight it. Some do pro bono. Call ACLU. They might also help you based on the fact your getting railroaded by the courts b/c your ex is military. Some lawyers also eat that up. She has options. Oh btw I don't like dads that file for custody just b/c mom wants CS.

jess_thorburn
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:25 PM

Excuse me?  She went in to court and basically got run over by this ass-holes' lawyer.  She has been raising these kids ALONE since they were babies and doing a damn good job.  His guy is slime.  They even used the fact that she left them with friend to working and go to school against her because they said even if she had her reasons, she was still leaving her kids with other ppl instead of watching them herself!!!  So here she was being super mom, and this waste of space was able to just walk in a take them.  After that, yeah, she is scared.  You say she needs to fight for her kids?  Well how the hell is she supposed to do that?  This was the point of the whole post.  If you dont'  have any constructive advice just move on.  

Quoting FL2AK:

Military rules and regulations have absolutely nothing to do with custody battles.  She needs to get a backbone and go fight for her kids. 


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