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Does your child have behavioral issues? Please Please help!

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:43 PM
  • 8 Replies

My 3 yr old DD has a awful temper. Right now she is in daycare and she doesn't act like this there. but when we get home all day she is so mean to her sister. She acts nuts. She will throw things, call me names, scream until she is purple, rip off all of her clothes, and hit me. I have tried everything, timeouts, she runs away or sits there and laughs, I spank her, she continues the behavior or screams louder, taken away toys, she laughs, or screams louder and hits. I don't know what to do. I have been in tears all day. She doesn't act like this for anyone else but me. I am thinking that the only thing that can help would be medicine. What is your opinion? My SO thinks that she is to young. She will be 4 in Jan. Any ideas or help.

 

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:43 PM
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ErikaM27
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:46 PM

my ds was like this and still acts up but we dont give him medicine i make special time for him we do activities just me and him when dh gets home from work from out of state he makes time for him alone. do you think maybe she's trying to get attention? I took care of two girl they were siblings and they were out of control but they had lots of changes in their lives that it was like they were crying out for attention..

my2loves0607
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:48 PM


Quoting ErikaM27:

my ds was like this and still acts up but we dont give him medicine i make special time for him we do activities just me and him when dh gets home from work from out of state he makes time for him alone. do you think maybe she's trying to get attention? I took care of two girl they were siblings and they were out of control but they had lots of changes in their lives that it was like they were crying out for attention..


Maybe she is trying to get attention, Im not sure. Im going to have to pay more attention to when she acts up and what is actually going on around her. Thanks for the advice.

KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:49 PM

In some ways she sounds like my daughter.  Have you read 1 2 3 Magic?  If not it may be a good book for you to read.  My daughter is very independant and likes to do things on her own. She get frustrated when we try to help her we tell her no.  This book has helped us .  There is also another book called  Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.  I have read both of these books and found them both helpful. The second book gave me a lot of insight into my daughter and myself.

norahsmommy
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:50 PM

I don't think medication would help here.  If she only acts like this with you and no one else its not add or adhd or anything else medical.  Its a behavioral issue and its related to you and how you two relate to each other.  I am not saying your a bad mom or anything like that so please don't take offense.  I am saying that if it were something medication could help her behavior would be the same with everyone, not just you.  So i would say if its really really bad and you don't know what to do try counseling and finding ways to effectively discipline and positive reinforcement and things like that.  Kids need consistency.  If she can predict the consequences of her actions because you follow through each and every time she acts up then the bad behavior should stop or lessen quite a bit. Also she's three and they go through phases, so that could be part of it.  She may just be testing you to see what she can get away with. 

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is also a government big enough to take from you all that you have." - Gerald Ford

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety  deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.  We didn't pass it on to our children in the bloodstream.  It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."  - Ronald Reagan

lillypie2
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:52 PM

She sounds alot like my son, he is now 7. I have read the book mentioned in one of the replies...123 magic, it helped some. I'm reading one right now called how to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk...It is great, I was doing so much of the stuff mentioned in it and never realized it, I've tried some of the suggestions they have and have made some progress with my son. 

ErikaM27
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:52 PM


Quoting KyliesMom5:

In some ways she sounds like my daughter.  Have you read 1 2 3 Magic?  If not it may be a good book for you to read.  My daughter is very independant and likes to do things on her own. She get frustrated when we try to help her we tell her no.  This book has helped us .  There is also another book called  Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.  I have read both of these books and found them both helpful. The second book gave me a lot of insight into my daughter and myself.

my son is like that too very stubborn too we also give him a choice when he's misbehaving.If you dont behave do you want to go to your room or do you want to sit quietly with mommy, then he knows he has a choice of what he wants that has helped me too

Ashleighrose
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:56 PM
PLEASE don't use meds=( she is only 3...
Humboldt0608
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 1:58 PM

Does she get any structured activities that you do together? Is she getting out and burning enough energy? Is she getting enough attention at home, just one on one time?

Cameron(3 years old, 4 in Feb) isn't exactly like this but I do notice that if he isn't getting enough positive attention or isn't burning enough energy off at home then he gets cranky. So I try to do stuff every day like bake cookies, let him help me with dinner, arts and crafts, etc. Even if it means that I cut him loose in the back yard and let him burn off some extra energy. It's getting colder but I just bundle him up and let him go. Set up obstacle courses in the back yard, run and play tag or hide and go seek in the house, etc.

Is there consistancy with your disapline? Do you change the disapline all the time or do you pretty much stick to the same thing? For us consistancy has really helped. Cameron knows what the reprocussions are for every bad act. We never change them are are consistant. Do you have a routine? I have also heard people having positive results from a reward chart for good behavior. I've never implemented this but just throwing out some suggestions.

Best of luck to you and hang in there.... she won't be this forever.


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