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Would you call it neglect?

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:17 PM
  • 43 Replies

  I'm a 'teacher' at a daycare. In my room the kids are anywhere from 9 months to 18 months, all grouped around the same age. Right now we have mostly 15-18 months. I have one child, "E", that has not had wipes in 3 weeks. We put on her daily paper everyday that she is completely out of wipes and we are running out of extra. We have now ran out of extras and have had to start using other kids, with every intention of paying them back. We've left notes on her daily paper, on her time card that mom and dad HAVE TO SEE, we've told them in person.... They won't bring us wipes or even acknowledge that they know she's out. It's extremely frustrating and IMO, nasty. The dad came in one day and asked if he could have some of her wipes to clean the snot dried on her face from the night before, gross, and was shocked when I told him that she had been out for a week and a half. The mom stood in the hallway looking embarrassed like she hadn't told him or something. The dad said they would bring in wipes that day. But here we are three weeks later and still no wipes. Now she's out of diapers. I'm sorry, that's unsanitary. We need those supplies. They signed a contract that said "We do NOT supply diapers, wipes, formula..... " so they know this is unexceptable.  I'm losing my temper with them... I really wanted to leave a nasty note for mom this morning asking her if she would like to go for 3 weeks and not use any toilet paper when she went to the bathroom...

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JakeandEmmasMom
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:19 PM

Maybe they don't have the money to buy more.

Lizzy317
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:23 PM


Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

Maybe they don't have the money to buy more.

 I wouldn't mind if they would just let us know that money is tight at the moment. I've bought wipes for kids before in this situation. But at the same time, they just had a payday, dad is military pay on the 1st and 15th....

     And a box of Parents Choice wipes cost $2.00, maybe they should rethink the $6.00 pack of ciggs that they smoke with the kids so the kids come in smelling like nasty smoke...

aj23
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:25 PM

Buy a pack of wipes and a pack of diapers and add the cost to their bill. If need be keep half the diapers there for her and send half home.

 

It could also be a situation where the mom is telling the dad that she sent the stuff and is keeping the money for them for herself. I like to think that doesn't happen but I know it does. The dad may have thought the wipes were sent that same day.

Lizzy317
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:29 PM


Quoting aj23:

Buy a pack of wipes and a pack of diapers and add the cost to their bill. If need be keep half the diapers there for her and send half home.


and when the parents bring in more, we repay our stock. Same with wipes.extra's we charge $1.50 for extra diapers and .50 for wipes that get charged to the acct of the child.  We, the teachers, never get that money. I went and got a pack of diapers and wipes and we use those as extra. I just cut my lose with the $15. Now when a child needs an extra diaper we mark how many they use out of those Supposidly I won't get my money back. The daycare would... Another part that pisses me off.

 uhhh... what the heck??? lol

 

 I wouldn't get my money back though. The daycare would. We are supposed to charge $1.50 for extra diapers and .50 for wipes that gets charged to the acct of the child. We the teachers never get that money tho.  I've gone a got a pack of just cheap diapers and wipes to use as extra and cut my lose with the $15.  When a child needs an extra diaper or wipes we mark how many they use out of those then when the parents bring in more we repay our stock.  Problem is this one child has killed our entire extra stock!

 

LisaLulu
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:36 PM

It sounds like they are struggling.  Maybe what they need right now is compassion, not judgment.  You have no idea what is going on in their lives - is it possible they have bigger problems right now?  I know this is a problem for you, but in the big scheme of things, they may be dealing with something you know nothing about.  You might get further with them if you try a compassionate approach - "Is there anything you want to talk about? We really need those supplies, but I am thinking there are some bigger issues going on for you.  Can we work together to find a solution?"  Being an ally with parents tends to yield better results, IMO.  I know it's frustrating, but you have no idea what is going on for them, and their child needs you.

Lizzy317
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:43 PM


Quoting LisaLulu:

It sounds like they are struggling.  Maybe what they need right now is compassion, not judgment.  You have no idea what is going on in their lives - is it possible they have bigger problems right now?  I know this is a problem for you, but in the big scheme of things, they may be dealing with something you know nothing about.  You might get further with them if you try a compassionate approach - "Is there anything you want to talk about? We really need those supplies, but I am thinking there are some bigger issues going on for you.  Can we work together to find a solution?"  Being an ally with parents tends to yield better results, IMO.  I know it's frustrating, but you have no idea what is going on for them, and their child needs you.

 I do feel for them if they are having problems. But at the same time, all it would take is for them to say, we forgot or we cant just yet. Or like I said in an earlier reply, pass on one pack of ciggs and get the nessessary supplies for your child.

01.Amey.07
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:48 PM

Is this a daycare facility? Bc I do believe you (well, not YOU, but the Director) can tell them that their child can not return until they supply the necessary items for the child. Even if it's just 8 diapers for that day and a travel case of wipes.

HOWEVER....do you not realize that wipes are NOT necessary?? You CAN wet paper towels and use that in a pinch. Grab some paper towels, wet them and stick them in her old wipe box until they can bring them in.

The diapers....those are a MUST. So without supplying those..I would suggest not allowing her to return without them.

heavenlyangl420
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 4:54 PM


Quoting Lizzy317:


Quoting LisaLulu:

It sounds like they are struggling.  Maybe what they need right now is compassion, not judgment.  You have no idea what is going on in their lives - is it possible they have bigger problems right now?  I know this is a problem for you, but in the big scheme of things, they may be dealing with something you know nothing about.  You might get further with them if you try a compassionate approach - "Is there anything you want to talk about? We really need those supplies, but I am thinking there are some bigger issues going on for you.  Can we work together to find a solution?"  Being an ally with parents tends to yield better results, IMO.  I know it's frustrating, but you have no idea what is going on for them, and their child needs you.

 

 I do feel for them if they are having problems. But at the same time, all it would take is for them to say, we forgot or we cant just yet. Or like I said in an earlier reply, pass on one pack of ciggs and get the nessessary supplies for your child.

yeah but you said the dad is military. i get my kids pull up s from the commissary since i dont pay taxes and they are 5.99 for a pack of 27 size 2t/3t. i know where my friend lives her's sells diapers for like 4 bucks a pack. there is no reason why they cant afford to bringin wipes and diapers

alexa_n_mommy
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 5:01 PM

My DD was not allowed back to daycare if she was out of diapers. Wipes they would supply extra. I always bought two packs of diapers and wipes when I went to the store. So one box of 120ish at daycare and one at home etc. Wipes I got from Sams Club. Like 700 somethin wipes for like 12bucks. But really you should tell your director/boss that they should not accept the child until supplies are provided.

heavenlyangl420
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 5:02 PM


Quoting LisaLulu:

It sounds like they are struggling.  Maybe what they need right now is compassion, not judgment.  You have no idea what is going on in their lives - is it possible they have bigger problems right now?  I know this is a problem for you, but in the big scheme of things, they may be dealing with something you know nothing about.  You might get further with them if you try a compassionate approach - "Is there anything you want to talk about? We really need those supplies, but I am thinking there are some bigger issues going on for you.  Can we work together to find a solution?"  Being an ally with parents tends to yield better results, IMO.  I know it's frustrating, but you have no idea what is going on for them, and their child needs you.


if you cant afford diapers then you need to cancel a bill or not buy cigarettes. or potty train your kid. when i had fallen on hard times i quit smoking and started potty training my oldest. so that way i only had 1 kid in diapers and not 2. i lowered my minutes on my phone and i didnt have cable and internet. how can you just not buy diapers for a child who isnt potty trained.

 

i agree with other ladies, they need to be told that until they bring in diapers and wipes and replace the ones they used they shouldn't be allowed to have their daughter there

 

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