How do you continue to believe in something you have seen no proof of throughout your life or in a very long time? How do you continue to explain the negative things that happen to good people over and over? More importantly how do you help someone who believes to believe more when something bad happens if you don't believe to begin with.
My mother has had many terrible things happen to her in her life...OVER & OVER. Last night she was admitted to the hospital again and all she could ask me was why does this horrible stuff keep happening to her. (Now mind you this woman goes to church, prays, preaches to all of us, feels very strongly towards religion). I tried to tell her GOD had another great plan for her and I just saw that look of dissappointment on her face as the doctors told her there was yet another reason she could die this time. My mother was married to an abusive drug addict before my father, she became a prescription drug addict not long after because of a major back surgery. She was diagnosed 3 years ago with colon cancer. And now the doctors (7 surgeons) can't figure out whats wrong this time. They've come up with everything from the swine flu to the flesh eating disease (necrotitis fashiatis <--spelling). I don't know how to help this person who I would give my life for....
I'm sorry if this offends anyone...It's not meant to.
I'm sorta in your same boat as well mama.. My mother is a very religious woman and bad things keep happening to her and my father as well. My bio father died at the age of 43 and left her behind w/ 3 kids to raise.. She didn't know how to drive because he never taught her because she was in an abusive relationship w/ him for over 22 yrs, she never got the courage to leave because she was scared to death he would take us away from her and she couldn't bear the thought of loosing us.. Then all the sudden he got his shit together FINALLY then just one day he up and died on her of a massive heart attack, I was 15 at the time w/ 2 younger brothers and sisters. She had a dead end job and lived thousands of miles from her family.. She then got remarried and is really really happy now (relationship wise). They both lost there jobs not too long ago and she now works at a little Christan book store that's about to close any day now and my stepfather works at wal*mart and that doesn't pay crap.. Sometimes they can barely afford to put food on there table..Me and my brother and sister do all we can to help them and I feel sooo bad for them because she has already been through so much. Those are just a couple things that have happened in the recent yrs.. All I can say is the lord has a propose and a plan for everything.. All you can do is leave it in his hands and pray that your mother gets better.. I really hope things get better for you and I know that its soooo hard watching someone you love so much go through such a hard time. GOod Luck and I'm praying for her mama..
Wife to my Marine 3-7-07 Mommy to 3 little princess's - Faith 2-16-02, Kaylee 3-14-04, Madison 1-24-08.. Expecting our baby boy in March 2010!!
OK. One thing I know is that God never promised life would be easy - only that he would help us through it.
God does not CAUSE the bad things to happen - but He also won't allow anyone to be given more than they can bear.
I actually read something really interesting years ago...can't remember the name of the book right now, but I'll try to find it. Anyway, this woman claimed to have had a "near death" experience. She remembered being in the most glorious place imagineable and realized it was Heaven. She said she was given the opportunity to ask questions and decide if she was going to stay or go back.
One of her questions was about what you're asking. She said that she was told that we are all spirits in Heaven before we're born. While up there "waiting" we actually decide what troubles/obstacles, etc. we would be willing to endure once on earth.
Now, I have NO idea how true any of this is, but I was always fascinated by the idea that I might have "chosen" certain 'bad things' (maybe not in specifics, but in level of "badness" if that makes sense) because as a spirit in Heaven I knew at that time that I could handle those things. Of course, we forget all that once we're here on earth, but our spirit remembers and CAN perservere.
It's a nice thought anyway...
i havent dealt with it.. but maybe this is a blessing in disguise. i mean, we've all been through hard times and it seems that the harder time it is- she can go out there and give wisdom/knowledge, advice, courage, etc for woman who may be going through the same thing.
My mother was married to an abusive drug addict before my father--- she can be a spokeswoman for domestic violence and help females that are in that situation, get out.
she became a prescription drug addict not long after because of a major back surgery-- again, another spokeswoman, sharing her difficulties.
who knows- she might be an Angel in disguise for another human. If she has hope/belief, there's not much that you can really do. if she becomes a spokeswoman (its not the right word that i'm looking for, but i cant think of it!) and shares her stories, she might be able to lead someone away from that path (in an abusive relationship, away from drugs, etc).
I know that this is farfetched, but maybe God has a plan for her-- that she needs to be in the hospital on a certain day to help someone else out. for every negative event, there are a couple positive events that stem from it-- it just depends on if the individual is willing to see the good or the bad.
(i'm not christian and i have no belief in god, but thats how my view is with those who go believe... if that makes sense..?)
Quoting gettinserious:but He also won't allow anyone to be given more than they can bear..
It's a nice thought anyway...
So far, I have agreed with everything you have said on this subject. This one I do not believe, however, I think that God is with us all the time but I also do not believe that he gives US anything to bear. If He didn't give us more than we could bear, then the incidence of suicide would be pratically nonexistent. I am a firm believer in my high power and that he is with me. I also have been to the point where I couldn't bear what was going on with me and I have tried to kill myself. He didn't give me my burden, He's there for me, but sometimes people do get more than they can handle.
You're certainly entitled to your opinion and I do not want to turn this post into a religious debate. However, I believe that HE is not the one who gives us the burdens - but that if we turn to him and rely on him completely He WILL pull us through it. You're right - we absolutely can NOT get through everything on our own, and those who turn to suicide, etc. tried to do it all on their own without just giving it to God. That is the key - giving it to God.
Quoting mommasbabies77:
Quoting gettinserious:
but He also won't allow anyone to be given more than they can bear..
It's a nice thought anyway...
So far, I have agreed with everything you have said on this subject. This one I do not believe, however, I think that God is with us all the time but I also do not believe that he gives US anything to bear. If He didn't give us more than we could bear, then the incidence of suicide would be pratically nonexistent. I am a firm believer in my high power and that he is with me. I also have been to the point where I couldn't bear what was going on with me and I have tried to kill myself. He didn't give me my burden, He's there for me, but sometimes people do get more than they can handle.
I don't know what to say because I really believe that if GOD had this great plan for all of us...he would only put us through what we need to go through to appreciate our life and the gifts we have been given. This is not how I think it actually happens in real life. Again, I think it is great that others have something to believe in and to turn to however, I don't believe he exists when things like this continuously happen.
But, you asked what can YOU do for HER? And she does believe. So you support her in her faith - and maybe learn to find some faith of your own as well. You continue to encourage her. God gave us all a wonderful gift called free will. He will NOT force us to do what He wants or to follow His ways. It's up to us to come to that decision on our own. And the best test of our faith is when "worldly things" (like cancer) threaten us and try to beat us down and we fight back with God's help. Even if it doesn't seem that we're winning on this earth, we will have won in Heaven if we never lose our faith.
I'm not trying to convert YOU. You asked how to help your mom who DOES have faith and believe, and this is the advice I'm offering.
Quoting ldybug1682:
I don't know what to say because I really believe that if GOD had this great plan for all of us...he would only put us through what we need to go through to appreciate our life and the gifts we have been given. This is not how I think it actually happens in real life. Again, I think it is great that others have something to believe in and to turn to however, I don't believe he exists when things like this continuously happen.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- ldybug1682
on Nov. 21, 2009 at 10:16 AM