I can't deal with this anymore. I take care of my almost four year old step-daughter and my two daughters with my husband pretty much by myself. My step-daughter has these horrible fits, doesn't listen to me at all, acts out in public...she doesn't even listen to me when we visit family. That's where she really acts up. I don't know what to do. She hasn't seen her real mom since august...she moved to missouri. My husband doesn't want to let his daughter go to missouri to visit her. I'm very stressed out because of her fits...i never get a break...at all...I tell my hubby over and over again that i need a break. what does he do? goes to the casino and leaves me with all three kids. We moved to los angeles recently and our closest family is at least an hour away. I have no one to talk to out here which just adds to my stress. plus we are all crammed into a little two bedroom apartment with nowhere for the kids to play outside. I'm sorry ladies but i really just needed to vent I've been crying for the past three hours on and off. I feel like a horrible mom. Omg i don't know what to do. again sorry
Your DH is wrong for going off to a casino. That child is 100% HIS, and he should be helping with her fits. I'd tell him you want her to go to Missouri to see her mother. Doesn't her mother push for her DD to come visit, or is she not that involved?
My circumstances are different...with only two kids, but I have an 8 year old who has a lot of temper tantrums. I am a full time mom, with no family near by. I can sympathise with you. You arent a bad mom cause of this. I promise you that....I have spent many hours crying with frustration over dealing with him. When he was little he would throw major fits and I would stick him in a cold shower..."cool off his attitude" and it did work for a long time...he still remembers and hates it...though he is too big for me to do that to him now :). Afterward, I would hold him, hug him, dry him off, etc. I would explain that that behavoir is something we cant have...and that I didn't enjoy doing it but if that was all I could do then I would.
It sounds mean but its better than hitting and if a time out doesn't work you gotta do something. A friend of mine told me about it and I tried it. It did calm the attitudes down. for several years....LOL Now with a new baby coming he knows I cant manhandle him into the shower so the threat doesn't work so well :).It may work for you?
But your hubby should offer to help since the child is his.
You are being taken advantage of. He needs to step up to the plate and be a help-mate. A husband, a father, part of the team.
Now - what are you going to do if he doesn't step up? Only you can decide that. People treat you the way you let them, and you are letting him take advantage of you.
Well dang it, if her mom is decent enough for her to visit in missouri, she's decent enough for her to live with full time! I'm not raising another woman's child unless she's a straight up crack-head.
Thanx. I just might try the cold shower thing. only problem is my 1 year old will start saying bath,bath lol. I just wanted to clear something up though, i wrote my post while i was crying and frusturated and i probably implied that hubby doesn't help out at all. I mean he does when he is in here, just the majority of it is on me. so i get really stressed out when he goes and does things. but thank you all for your support. I just really didn't have anyone to talk to and needed to get it out somehow. Oh yeah and as for my stepdaughters mom being a crackhead...her and my hubby have had their custody issues so he just doesn't want to deal with all that...he vows he will never let his daughter move to missouri full time. I thought he'd at least let her visit out there...that was my impression but i guess he changed his mind. i don't know.
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- seffiepoo
on Nov. 21, 2009 at 7:12 PM