divorce...

[IluvAsialots4]

does it take a toll on a childs personality (say the child was old enough to understand)

opions? personal experiances?

[IluvAsialots4]

[anikahaynes1]

I have absolutly no clue, I am sorry, I hope someone will though.

[collegemom09]

yes it takes a toll on a kid no matter what age they are. my parents got divorced twice when i was growing up. its made my thoughts on marriage to be a big waste of time because all that is going to happen is someone is going to get hurt.

[usmclife58]

Yes, it does. No matter if it is bitter or bittersweet.

[KT9105]

some it does - but if there is a good support system it won't change them negatively.  my husband's parents divorced when he was 7 and he's seen his mother a total of maybe a dozen times since then (he's 33 today).  he's never tried to blame anything in his life on his mother or his parent's divorce.  he's had a good life - though difficult at times (he was shuffled around a lot bc his dad was in the marines and constantly deployed) and he's come out clean on the other side. 

one thing it did do is impact his views on marriage though.  we were together almost 5 years before we married because he had to be sure he wouldn't end up like his parents.

[djemMama0725]

yes it does .....my BIL and SIL are getting divorced...and my oldest niece is lashing out like crazy...sneaking out with older boys...popping pills because of her nerves...im talkin like xanax n stuff here...

it does definitely take a toll... my niece would have never thought twice to do that kind of stuff....those are just a few of the things i have noticed...theres more.

[shayliesmom]

Yes I would say so....My daughter was 3 and a half when my hub and I split for a while.....It totally changed her personality. It was terrible to see. She threw fits all the time and was just so different. I hated every minute of it. I had taken some pics of her while we were split and she looked so unhappy in her eyes. But now we are back together and it's allllll good! She is back to her normal happy self!

I was 2 when my parents divorced and my mom said she had to re-potty train me. I grew up without my father and growing up having boyfriends I never felt like one mans love was enough. That is what caused problems in my marriage. Just his love wasn't enough. Sad to say and I regret it everyday.

[Heartlight617]

Divorce is like being trapped in a burning house-to escape you must run through the flames &you will be burned. The alternative is to stay and die! I read this once in a divorce book. It affects all involved, but fighting and anger do,as well. There are just some situations children should not have to deal with, and constant fighting is one of them.

[mommasbabies77]

I think it probably does but I also that staying in a marriage where people are obviously unhappy would take it's toil on a child. Two happy parents apart is better than two miserable ones together.

[Shy_Dia]

hmmm.. i think it depends on how the divorce was done.

for me-- i seen my parents fight so much, my dad was gone all the time (for work and other reasons). they finally got a divorce about 2 years ago.. but my view on marriage is already fucked up. i most likely, will never get married- BECAUSE of my parents.

if the divorce was done badly-- like there was a lot of fighting, arguing, crying, etc.. then it'll affect the child in a really bad way. people who constantly fight are always on edge and most likely will take the same tone of voice that they have for the spouse to the child- just because they are frustrated.

if the divorce was done in a civil matter.. where the parents still got along, was able to attend functions without fighting, etc. then i think it'll have a better affect on the child. they will be able to talk about their problems/ have a talking disagreement, rather than having a screaming match.

i think it also depends on the marriage.. like i said- my parents marriage was very f'up and i know that i'm still affected from that... but i'm also affected with how they treated/raised us. i was always selfconscious about my weight- didnt help that my parents called us fat all the time. i was really shy- didnt help that my mom would make fun of me at every turn.

a lot goes into what the child's personality will be like, but it does stem from the parents. if you are calm and collected and can work problems out in a calm way- then the child will too. if you scream and fight and stuff- thats what s/he will see. like monkey see, monkey doo... and after a while, what they see/do, will become who they are (their personality).

hope i made sense.