I hear it from my family members and from my dh's family too. When I talk to someone and the topic comes up for example my mom will say it's not even a joke don't have anymore, 2 is enough. Here's the thing I thought I was pregnant this month my period was really late I dont know why but anyways she called tonight to ask me if I got my period, yes I did, I have a 4 yr old ds and a 7 month old ds and she says oooh yeah no no no you don't need to get pregnant no god forbid! I mean really god forbid I got pregnant? If I did I'm married to my husband not her..
Just I hear this all the time I now realize how much it bothers me. I mean when did someone else become boss of me? It rubs me the wrong way. I will just say "yeah" but it just bothers me...my dh's aunt too she'll say 2 is enough why have more kids no no no just have 2 and that's it.
I mean why do people do this? Are they really serious? Do they really think that they can control if you have more kids or not? Does this happen to any of you ladies and do you listen to thema nd actually stop having kids because other people feel best? What do you tell people when they say this if so?
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We have ywo kids, a DD and a DS. Right now we are in a tight spot finacially. We are not planning on anymore untill we get our debt paid off and are better off. BUT, My MIL has told me that we cannot have anymore because DH is "too old". He is 36, I am 25! When she was here after DS was born she asked me when DH was getting his surgery, meaning vasectomy!!!! Um never!
Quoting ErikaM27:
I hear it from my family members and from my dh's family too. When I talk to someone and the topic comes up for example my mom will say it's not even a joke don't have anymore, 2 is enough. I mean when did someone else become boss of me? It rubs me the wrong way. I will just say "yeah" but it just bothers me...my dh's aunt too she'll say 2 is enough why have more kids no no no just have 2 and that's it.
I mean why do people do this? Are they really serious? Do they really think that they can control if you have more kids or not? Does this happen to any of you ladies and do you listen to thema nd actually stop having kids because other people feel best? What do you tell people when they say this if so?
Yep... I get it ALL THE TIME. Because I had breast cancer and I have three already. 4 is just TOO much for me. People tell this to me a lot. 3 is enough. I won't be able to take care of 4 kids. "don't you know the risks?" blahblahblah.
Well, I want a large family. Always have.
I simply tell them that I won't be around forever. I want my kids to have each other when they're adults and don't have mom and down around.
They'll need each other when times get tough in their lives.
I understand what you are saying. Even before we had our second people were telling us that we WOULD stop after 2....let me say that it took me a long time to come to the decision that 2 was enough for us. Part of me wanted to have more just to prove them wrong, KWIM? Yes it is annoying. If we were younger I so would have had more. But having a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old keeps me busy and tired....and I am not wanting to have a new baby at 40, or another one right now....so we are done. Anyway, screw em!
No, but it would speak testaments if anyone did. I have one son, and I am pregnant with my second child, due a month before I turn 27. I'm not incredibly young, we're above the poverty line and my husband has a stable job, neither of us drinks or uses drugs...so if someone said we need to "stop having kids", it would clearly reflect their opinion of our parenting skills, as there is nothing else to pick apart. (My greatest fear is being a failure as a parent)
my grandma thinks that we shouldn't have had our 2nd because my hubby lost his job . I was 7 months pregnant !!!!! How could we have known he was going to lose his job !!?? She told us that we should have thought about having baby #2 BEFORE we got into the situtation we are in !! We keep telling her that I was 7 months prego couldn't do NOTHING about our "situtation" . We are doing all we can to make sure BOTH our kids our taken care of till we get jobs which hopefully won't be too much longer but who knows in the town we live in .
PLUS aunt and uncle are worse off than we are but yet they are PERFECT in grandma's eyes even though uncle is a drunk and leaves his kids alone all the time and they are only 10 and 13 !! Aunt has 2 boys that she NEVER care for always left them with other people to raise them .
is your mom supporting you and your kids? if she's not and you can more than provide, i would say keep going! i could see how she would be upset then....my cousin relies pretty heavily on my aunt. she had her girls (one was a surprise! and the other was a oh, wait, uhhh..does that really say positive?...crap!) back to back and her loser boyfriend doesnt have a job, doesnt want to at least watch the girls. so, my aunt tells her, honey no more! loves the girls to death, tho. my dh and i can support our lil family, so we'll only go as far as we can afford. which, could very well be the baby im having in feb!
No, I'm sorry they say that to you. Its really none of their business and they have no right to say that to you, they arent having to support you or your family. Geez Everyone on my side keeps asking us when we are having more. They have been asking me that since I had my DD. We are waiting until we have our house and she is potty trained. My FIL actually doesn't want us to have another because my SIL (that bitch) isn't ready to have one and apparently its not fair that I had the first one and then I get to have another, but that's a whole other store. *rolls eyes*
For years I got the opposite, that I couldn't just have one kid.. and every holiday and family function turned into a discussion about my repoductive organs.
i completely hear you on this my mom is dead sat against us having any more it just breaks my heart... our oldest is 11 and then we have a one in a half year old and a three month old we tried for so long after our 11 year old almost 5 years and then we got pregnant again when that one was 3 months or so so i do understand her side but i always wanted 4 and its killing me that we have to be done!!!!
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- ErikaM27
on Nov. 21, 2009 at 9:15 PM