To send or not, that is the question

[USMCBride08]

 Sorry. For some reason, shakespeare is stuck in my head LOL

ok dilemma. MIL and FIL *both divorced, so two totally different entities* have NOT had a part of my childs life. NADA. UNLESS, of course, WE put out the work. We learned this, see, back when our child was only 2 weeks old.....

Anyhoo. Haven't heard from them in at LEAST 5 months. And the kicker? They are 45 minutes away. FIL has the time and $$ to go see his mistress in Jacksonville. Wayy further than us.

My dilemma? Whether or not to send them a Christmas card. To US, its kinda like a "why bother?" kinda thing. They dont know their one and ONLY grandchild from any other child. they don't know that he looks like his daddy, but has his mommys eyes, nose, and lips =]

NOTHING.

So we were talking about it while we were making our card list. And dh asked me "why send 'em one?"

BUTTTTT i know if i DONT, this whole thing will SOMEHOW be my fault and Im the devil whore he married and Im taking him away from his family *who he cant stand to BEGIN with* and i need to die and disappear and blah blah blah....

anyway. Yay or nay?

[ajswenson]

For your own peace of mind send them one.  In the end they are the ones missing out.  You are only re-extending an invitation into their grandchilds life.

[mirahz]

 I wouldn't send one. If that's his family and that's how he feels why keep pushing yourselves on them. And who gives a shit how they feel or what they might say. They're not a part of you everyday anyhow.

[a_and_j_momma]

I'd be the bigger person and send one. Why give reason to drive the wedge further? I'm not saying you want to. But, then it gives them an excuse..."Well they didn't even send a card..."

[USMCBride08]

sadthing is, there is ALWAYS an excuse.

They're REALLY going to lose it if they find out we're taking him to MY parents for his 1st birthday LOL

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I'd be the bigger person and send one. Why give reason to drive the wedge further? I'm not saying you want to. But, then it gives them an excuse..."Well they didn't even send a card..."

[ErikaM27]

My fil lives like 30 minutes away and can't come see his two grand kids.  I'm not sending him anything. Not to get even or be mean but if he can't even see his  then I shouldn't even send him a card. Not even worth my time.

[ErikaM27]

Quoting USMCBride08:

sadthing is, there is ALWAYS an excuse.

They're REALLY going to lose it if they find out we're taking him to MY parents for his 1st birthday LOL

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I'd be the bigger person and send one. Why give reason to drive the wedge further? I'm not saying you want to. But, then it gives them an excuse..."Well they didn't even send a card..."

Well then they have to realize they're doing something wrong. How would they know you sent out cards or not anyways?

[SpcCraftsWife]

lol, i must be evil too, because i would send one. with a personal note on the back. Heyyy Mil/Fil, yes we're still alive...sorry to bother you by sending you a picture of how totally happy we are without you in our lives...this is our beautiful child you dont care to know and its you thats missing out because he/she can do this, this, and this etc etc... yep i would do that:) dont care if its petty. let them know they are missing out on a wonderful child. not to mention relationship with their own son.

[a_and_j_momma]

Lol just send them an invite...even if it's out of the country. They couldn't say they weren't invited

Quoting USMCBride08:

sadthing is, there is ALWAYS an excuse.

They're REALLY going to lose it if they find out we're taking him to MY parents for his 1st birthday LOL

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I'd be the bigger person and send one. Why give reason to drive the wedge further? I'm not saying you want to. But, then it gives them an excuse..."Well they didn't even send a card..."

[USMCBride08]

OMGosh i would love to do that =]

i wonder if dh would go for it

Quoting SpcCraftsWife:

lol, i must be evil too, because i would send one. with a personal note on the back. Heyyy Mil/Fil, yes we're still alive...sorry to bother you by sending you a picture of how totally happy we are without you in our lives...this is our beautiful child you dont care to know and its you thats missing out because he/she can do this, this, and this etc etc... yep i would do that:) dont care if its petty. let them know they are missing out on a wonderful child. not to mention relationship with their own son.

[USMCBride08]

*snort*

 then dh would KILL me. He'd have to listen to his mother sniveling on the phone, crying and whining and boohoo-ing about how i tore apart her family and shes just going to die and waa waa wahhhhh

Did i use sniveling right? LOL i dont care i have always wanted to use that word since i read it in harry potter

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

Lol just send them an invite...even if it's out of the country. They couldn't say they weren't invited

Quoting USMCBride08:

sadthing is, there is ALWAYS an excuse.

They're REALLY going to lose it if they find out we're taking him to MY parents for his 1st birthday LOL

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I'd be the bigger person and send one. Why give reason to drive the wedge further? I'm not saying you want to. But, then it gives them an excuse..."Well they didn't even send a card..."