Please tell me I'm not the only one who doesn't think this is right....DH is selfish!
Okay so when it comes to money, my DH doesn't understand that it's OUR money. Yes, I'm a SAHM and he's in the Army so he is the one making the money, but it's OUR money. We decide together what we buy that's not a necessity.
Well anyways, DH's computer is on it's way to the grave, so he's been looking online at new ones. Fine, whatever, he's had his for almost 4 years, it's time for a new one. He showed me the one he wants after he was done customizing it. Grand total of $3,000!!!!!! Yet he FLIPPED when I spent $800 on mine.
Point #2....I'm getting a car after taxes because we only have 1 and it sucks, just going to use about $2,000 as a down payment. DH is telling me I can get a car, but I have to stay as close to $5,000 as I can. Yet in about 2 years, after his upcoming deployment, he plans to spend upwards of $15,000 on a new car for him. You can't get a decent car around here for $5,000.
We are NOT rich by any means. We live paycheck-to-paycheck most of the time. We will be moving on base before he deploys so we will be saving a little bit of money that way, but we still can't afford payments on a $3,000 computer. And I know that even 2 years from now we won't be able to afford the payments on a $15,000+ vehicle.
We have a 2 yr old and another baby on the way. He's not thinking about all the things we need to buy for the baby (we didn't save anything after DS, stupid I know). He's not thinking about the bills we already have. I also told him that it's REALLY not fair that he thinks it's okay that he gets to spend so much more money on himself. I brought it up to him, and he sees nothing wrong with it.
His plans for our money are just selfish, we're going to go broke. What can I do to get him to see that?!
Sounds like you need to sit down and seriously talk about money. $3000 on a PC? Don't spend any more on a PC than you can pay off in about 2 years, because it will be outdated by then. If my husband tried to tell me our $ was his $, I would remind him how much of his $ the state would say was mine if I left him...lol...my husband isn't like that though. We have one account, and we both have access to it, and I was a SAHM for 12 years.
I really have little advice. My DH is the same fortunatly for me I can work so I just keep my money and when he says somthing I remind him that his money is his and my money is mine. Thats how he see's so thats how it is. When he gets mad and asks me what I spent all my money on i tell him the things you neglect to spend yours on. Men can be asses
It depends on the kind of guy your DH is. If he's a visual kind of guy I would break it down to him...expenses to income on a spreadsheet and show him hard numbers. Maybe if he sees the repercussions of an expensive car or computer payment he'll back off. I took DH to a financial counselor so we could get a cold hard dose of reality, and it worked.
How old is he?
When he decided to get married and have children he ceased to be number one. His children's needs come first.
Quoting abstractmommy:
It depends on the kind of guy your DH is. If he's a visual kind of guy I would break it down to him...expenses to income on a spreadsheet and show him hard numbers. Maybe if he sees the repercussions of an expensive car or computer payment he'll back off. I took DH to a financial counselor so we could get a cold hard dose of reality, and it worked.
We live in the same world it seems. I have not gotten new clothing since BEFORE my oldest was born and I only have a $1.50 pair of old navy flip flops. If I even TRY To spend money on my own clothing, he freaks out! But he can put a$400 system in his fucking car! I just bought his Christmas present, I should have gotten me the shoes and clothes I need. ARGH!!! I hate men some times.
I am Magen, a 21 year old, former teen mommy with two children(Amon and Ryan),married to(Dustin) the father of both my children,high school graduate, exclusively & extended public breastfeeding (with no cover), baby wearing, co-sleeping, CIO is cruel, extended rear facing, extended harnessing, vaccinating, circumcising, thumb sucking encouraging, disposable diaper using, lets my kids trash the house, then picks it up for them, going to public school, doesn't force church but believes in God, goes to bed angry, does not fold laundry, loves to organize, listen to heavy metal and country, reads constantly, plays world of war craft with my husband, pro-life, child abuse survivor(NOT victim), republican, soon-to-be home owning, living my American dream, stay at home mommy!
Quoting scootermom:
Quoting abstractmommy:
It depends on the kind of guy your DH is. If he's a visual kind of guy I would break it down to him...expenses to income on a spreadsheet and show him hard numbers. Maybe if he sees the repercussions of an expensive car or computer payment he'll back off. I took DH to a financial counselor so we could get a cold hard dose of reality, and it worked.
I would defenitely do this. Or if he really wants to separate your personal expenses and his personal expenses. I would start asking for a salary on the things you do , first as baby-sitter, cleaning lady, secretary (for paying, bills, running errands), finance assistant (making sure money is well spent and its enough for all necesities)...and you know the list keeps on going. Believe me if he had to pay you for all you do, he would be broke and could not even afford a 1k computer. So sit him down show him the real hard numbers and tell him either to make it "OUR" money or make it "MY" money the fair way!!!
I dont have that problem but in my situation, we both work, we consider each others necesities, and the household. So we put both of our salaries together and divide it into three parts, Household (all of our DS expenses are part of this), Him, Me and it works just perfectly we cover all the important living expenses first, then we each get our own personal money to spent on what ever we need or want, and nobody can say anything about it!
the most my hubby spent on a computer was 1200 and it was a gaming computer that's supposed to be really good. ur hubby sounds a little selfish. iw ould remind him that he has a family and needs to think about your needs.
Quoting Freakbabydoll:
first off 3000 for comp! omg my hubby is a hardcore Gamer and we spent about 1200 on his Super Cool comp for him! why is the comp 3k! i would be saying Hell no Ur not getting a 3k comp!
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on Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:47 PM