what would you do if someone who has no experience with kids told you how to raise yours & yourself?
ok i dont know if its just my pregnancy hormons or something but lately my stepdad has been trying to tell me how to raise me kids. like for example my son who is 3 just got off the passy. everytime he would come over and see that he had it in his mouth he would yank it out and my son would start to cry. im sorry but IMO thats just mean. he would do that on and off since he was 2. and he would tell me all the time that i had to get rid of it. i think i know whats best for my child! not someone who has never had kids! he married my mom after i got married! ok i know that the passy thing is done and over with because we finally got rid of it, but now he is on my ass about potty training AND he just myspaced me telling me that i need to keep him off the passy!! WTH?!? like i said he is my son and i will raise him how i want to raise him. this doesnt mean that im going to go and give him his passy back, but still you know its getting annoying! then he is going on telling me all these different things i need to do, like buy that Your Baby Can Read dvd set cause my son is behind on his speech. yeah thats not going to happen, i would rather do what i have been doing for the past year and a half and thats having him have speech therpy with a teacher, not a DVD. then not only does he give me advice on how to raise my kids, but also on how to mantain my house!! we want to get a inground pool for the backyard but its not going to be for many years. well i told him that in the future we are planning on putting a pool back there. he told me no i cant do that. i looked at him like he was crazy and he said i cant do that because we live in a bad neighborhood and it wont raise our house value and we will be paying more taxes on our house. ok first i already knew that it was going to raise our taxes. 2nd why would i even care if it raise our house value or not because i love my house and my neighborhood and im not planning on moving any time soon. and yeah i guess this neighborhood used to be pretty crappy but the neighborhood has been working really hard on making it nice and family orintened. i mean we have kids that come up and ask to use our basketball hoop in the summer, we have not had one problem with any kind of anything, its nice and quite (cant say that where he lives!). i think he just has a problem because there are alot more black (sorry not to offend anyone!) people here. i seriously think he is raceist or something. cause we have lived here 2 years now and had nothing but respect from our neighbors, and the kids that live here. ok i think i may this a little long. just wanted to vent this out cause he is just really starting to get to me!
Quoting carygrantfan:
have you heard of the ever-effective tube sock full of screws upside the head?
nope! sounds painfull!
He sounds like a jerk...I wouldn't pay him any mind..
I hate it when ANYONE tells me how to raise my kids. I don't like when people tell me to do anything unless I ask for an opinion or help. I would kindly tell your step-dad (and anyone else) to mind their own business. Maybe he needs a hobby or something so he can spend less time bugging you. Hey, you can suggest he get a hobby and maybe even pick out a few for him lol see how he likes it. :p
venting feels good, doesn't it? :)
Honestly, those aren't the worse people... try my MIL who thinks that since her children survived (barely, I might add) that she is the best mom on the planet and all others should do EXACTLY as she says. She also says that her kids were all speaking four word sentences by 12 months... which grandma-in-law says is bull-crap.
Oh, and this is the same woman who gave my DS#1 wine to get him to walk for the first time. She kept letting him sip it and then holding it out to make him walk to it... not in front of me, I might add. Everyone (her younger kids inside the house) told us when we showed up to pick up our kid from her babysitting him one night... and then she showed us the video.
So, having someone who has never had kids tell you how to raise your child is easy to handle (Just tell him to adopt a child and learn the hard way)... having to deal with my FIL and MIL is getting more and more difficult (especially when they say things like, "Well, it never hurt my kids. Look at them now!" and all you can do is bite your tongue from saying, "Yeah... look at them now... they are all... yeah... uh-huh... no...")
Good luck, though.
Ugg-that SUCKS. I haven't had anyone try to tell me how to raise my daughter yet, but she is a preemie, so most people won't say anything because I have a built in defense-"What do YOU know about raising a preemie?" Plus, I have many doctors and therapists who I can point to and say, "Her OT said that she should be doing x,y,z"
In your case, I don't know what I would do-and I do agree that the paci thing was unacceptable. I would have thrown a fit if anyone did that to my child.
Maybe there is a way to defuse him. Like, could you be sugar sweet and say something like "Oh, absolutely, I will buy those DVDs" but then just not do it? And then if he asks about it say something like, "Oh, we are absolutely planning to buy those" and then just not do it? I think that way he doesn't have anything to fight against-you aren't arguing against him-you're agreeing-so your interactions aren't as crummy, but then you are still doing things your way.
Rebecca
loving wife to Chris (9-28)
and proud mommy to miracle preemie Lillian (12-31-08)
I would tell them to fuck off. Straight up. Okay, well, maybe the first few times I might tell them to mind their own business, but people like that just never seem to get the clue. So ultimately, we would end up back at the first sentence. :)
My mom tells me how to do things all the time. Yes, she raised 3 kids. I got that. I've known that my whole life. I still don't think it gives her the right to tell me what I'm doing is wrong. I think I'm a damned good mom, and I'm going to school, trying to give us a better life. Just because my parenting style is a little different than hers, doesn't mean it's wrong. I guess only her way is right. *shrug* I brush it off because she's my mom. If we get into an argument, I just leave. We both get over it, and life goes on, as always.
"Well I'll give that all the consideration it deserves" Change subject.
*gentle laugh* "Oh we all know what's best for children when we have none, don't we?" *walk away*
Simple things you can say that are NICE but also really, REALLY condescending.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- luvbeinamommy68
on Nov. 22, 2009 at 1:33 AM