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Does anyone else go through this...?

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:07 AM
  • 8 Replies

OK so I have a 5 year old daughter and a 3 almost 4 year old son. My MIL has since my daughter was 3 always asked if my daughter could spend the night and go to church with her when they went or just to spend the night just because. Well when my son Andrew turned 3 he started getting the fact that his sister was going and he wasnt so he started to ask all the time when his sister would go if he could go too. Well my MIL would tell him no at the beginning because he wasnt potty trained yet.

Well he was potty trained at 3 1/2 months...so six months later and she still refuses to take him when she takes his sister. So like tonight she asked if my daughter could come and spend the night and I asked about my son too and she said no. Of course I let her take  my daughter because my husband said that it was ok.

I just dont think that its right that she take my daughter and never let my son get the chance or the experience. I dont really have any friends around either that have boys his age that he can be friends with and have sleep overs with. I just dont like him being left out!


6 Yrs. Going Strong!!!  Charlotte (26), Michael (26), Serenity (5), and Andrew (3)

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:07 AM
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Aniyunwiya
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:14 AM

I don't/haven't gone through this but i agree that's not fair.

jroach
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:15 AM

I personally would tell her that my daughter can't go if my son can't. It isn't fair for him to be left out. If she can't show love and respect for both kids I wouldn't let her see either of them period.

CharlotteAnn
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:20 AM

Im to that point. I hate that I had to hold him while she was getting picked up and after she left he cried allot. I told my husband that I dont think its fair and we are to the point that we want nothing more to do with his mother anyway. Its gotten bad lately.

amylovesnick07
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:22 AM

I agree with this. It isn't fair that your son gets left out. I wouldn't let my daughter go if he couldn't.

Quoting jroach:

I personally would tell her that my daughter can't go if my son can't. It isn't fair for him to be left out. If she can't show love and respect for both kids I wouldn't let her see either of them period.


Lindylu237
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:28 AM

Your husband is also wrong in letting your daughter go to his mothers.  Your children should be treated the same.  Let her know that they can take turns, this way she has only 1 child to contend with.  If she does not agree then no child will go to sleep over.  She is causing at a young age a conflict between your children.  Your son will feel as though he is not worthy, he will have low esteem.  So nip it in the bud right now.  Stick to your guns too.  You may have a conflict with her for awhile, but trust me she will know that you mean what you say.  Your husband should back you up on this too.  Explain how your son is feeling.  Would he like being left out?  Please trust me on this because I had the same problem.  I regret being quiet not to cause waves and my son paid the price.  Stick to your guns!!!!!

Lindylu237

CharlotteAnn
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:32 AM

Im definitely going to do that. Its taking turns with them or not taking either one. I have had it with having to explain to a 3 year old that his grandmother wont take him. And there is honestly no excuse as to why she wont take him. I just dont get it. He is in no way a bad child. If anything he acts better than she does at times. Im through with going through this every weekend!

Quoting Lindylu237:

Your husband is also wrong in letting your daughter go to his mothers.  Your children should be treated the same.  Let her know that they can take turns, this way she has only 1 child to contend with.  If she does not agree then no child will go to sleep over.  She is causing at a young age a conflict between your children.  Your son will feel as though he is not worthy, he will have low esteem.  So nip it in the bud right now.  Stick to your guns too.  You may have a conflict with her for awhile, but trust me she will know that you mean what you say.  Your husband should back you up on this too.  Explain how your son is feeling.  Would he like being left out?  Please trust me on this because I had the same problem.  I regret being quiet not to cause waves and my son paid the price.  Stick to your guns!!!!!

Lindylu237


DaisyAg2003
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:32 AM

My MIL is always trying to get me to let my kids go see her 1 at a time...She usually just asks for my oldest.  I tell her that she cannot take just one child because the others are too young to understand.  So, she doesn't ask for any of them anymore.  We still see her from time to time, but my kids don't even ask.

 

 

CharlotteAnn
by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:35 AM

I really think thats how it would be if I told her that she needs to alternate or take both. But Im to the point that I dont even care anymore. I just dont like that she treats my son like he's not worthy! AND HE IS!

Quoting DaisyAg2003:

My MIL is always trying to get me to let my kids go see her 1 at a time...She usually just asks for my oldest.  I tell her that she cannot take just one child because the others are too young to understand.  So, she doesn't ask for any of them anymore.  We still see her from time to time, but my kids don't even ask.


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