Ok. So here is my problem.
My husband and I met through a mutual female friend. I did a lot for this female friend and her 3 kids. Including giving her large sums of money to help keep her head above water, so to speak. Anyways. My husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) ended up cheating on me with this woman and they lied to me about it for months. Finally I realized that she acted to jealously when I was around and that something obviously had happened between them. (she was with someone at the time too) She lived with my boyfriend at the time because her husband kicked her out with her 3 kids after they had both cheated on eachother for years. She finally ended up moving after I had given her large sums of money so she was able to get her own place. To my knowledge she slept in the spare room with her two daughters and 6 month old son. (I did not live with him at the time) Finally after she moved out he confessed on a trip to NY to meet my family for the first time that he had a "one night stand" with her while we were together. She stated that it was more than that and that they shared a bed when I was not there. Anyways. Needless to say I was crushed and almost ended up leaving him. I cut all ties with her and moved on with my life. We ended up getting married on November 21st 2008. Life was going great we currently have a baby girl due in February and things were going awesome for the first 8 months or so.
Just recently I have been recieving e-mails from her about how she wants everyone to be friends again and asking me for things that she may have left here when she moved. She knows damn well they are not here. My husband wants to just forget about the whole cheating thing and just have us all be friends with one another. He expects me to allow her back into the house to hang out with us and says he wants to do it for my 3 year old son so he has some more play mates.
So my question is this: Do I allow her back into our lives or does this sound suspicious to anyone else? Why are they both pressuring me to just "let it go"? I did let it go. I married him, but does that mean I have to accept her coming over and being in our lives?
Edit
She claims she is in love with some guy she has been dating for a year. My husband went through therapy and did very well. That is why I agreed to stay with him. To my knowledge and our cell phone bills they have not been secretly talking. He doesnt act suspicious in that regard. She made the first contact and then it seemed like he thought it may be a good idea. I know he really likes her kids but I mean come on. To expect me to be friends with her again is a little much I think. We discussed it last night and he said its worth a try. I say its going to drive me insane. LOL
I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't have married him if he had cheated on me in the first place. That's not a good start to a marriage.
Be thankful for what you have.
hell no. i would not be friends with someone who slept with my husband. firstly, you dont even know the whole truth. one says one night stand other says affair. she more than likely isnt over him. does she have a boyfriend? married? have they been secretly talking behind your back? why is your husband so willing to have her over knowing that he and she BOTH hurt you ? these are questions that i would be asking. and i would straight up tell my husband that you do not want that bitch in your house and if he wants your child to have more playmates that you can send him to a damn daycare!!
NO WAY! I would tell him he should feel extremely grateful for your forgiveness, and respect that you want nothing to do with this woman. You are his family, and you're carrying his daughter. If it makes you upset, and uncomfortable then he should take that as priority. Tell her that your family wants nothing to do with her, you don't have any of her things, and that she needs to leave all of you alone. I am sorry that she is even bothering/stressing you out pregnant... You don't need that stress while carrying a baby.
Please for the sake of your marriage say no!
uh, HELL to the NO.
Do NOT let this woman back into your life. If your husband is insistent about it, then drop kick his sorry ass to the curb. This woman is BAD NEWS, and your husband is an idiot to even THINK it's ok to have her around.
Your kids can find other playmates. No friends is better than allowing a sorry excuse of a homewrecker into your life.
I agree i would not have married him if he cheated on me but i dont think she needs to come back into your lives it will just cause problems and your son will have a playmate when his little sister is born:) I hope you can figure things out sorry you are going through this:)
Quoting lovinmyboys...:
I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't have married him if he had cheated on me in the first place. That's not a good start to a marriage.
She claims she is in love with some guy she has been dating for a year. My husband went through therapy and did very well. That is why I agreed to stay with him. To my knowledge and our cell phone bills they have not been secretly talking. He doesnt act suspicious in that regard. She made the first contact and then it seemed like he thought it may be a good idea. I know he really likes her kids but I mean come on. To expect me to be friends with her again is a little much I think. We discussed it last night and he said its worth a try. I say its going to drive me insane. LOL
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on Nov. 22, 2009 at 4:52 PM