Ok so DH has an issue...
We have had all 3 girls in sports for the last 3 years. But this is the worst! My 12 year old had her second basketball game on friday. I always video the games so that we can watch them at home etc. (A little background- DD is one of only 2 girls on her team this year that has ever played BB. Her team the last 2 years has won the county champ. gone to Allstars and gone to state.) So the other girl whom she has been playing with for so long was not able to be at fridays game... So the team was depending on DD to play a different position than she has ever played. She flat said she was nervous and worried about the game since the team they were supposed to be playing was supposedly best in their league this year. So we get there and right off the bat she forgot to put her game shoes on and fell with her school shoes on. So DH gets all up her butt and starts yelling about the shoes. She put her BB shoes on and I thought "ok that's over". WOW was I wrong! The whole rest of the game was not going so well and every time she made a mistake DH was yelling from the bleachers at her to focus and get her head in the game. How the hell can she focus if he is yelling at her???? (BTW this is all on camera!!!) After the first quarter DH started telling her if she wasn't going to play right then we would go home! WTF????? I was LIVID!!! Then she started ignoring him and he started yelling even more and asking her if she could hear him. Well I took that as my golden opportunity- I made a smart @$$ comment and yelled at him "WE ALL CAN HEAR YOU!!!" And everyone in the gym could hear him the whole time and I made sure everyone heard me! The whole gym started laughing and he got pissed! But I thought what I did was warranted after the crap he was doing. So after half time-during which he yelled at her some more.... I decided to go to the opponents side to video tape my DD's game. I would rather hear the cheers for the other team and tape my DD than to hear him the whole time yelling at her. What would you have done? Was I being too harsh? They did lose like 34-4 BTW It was one of their worst games but who could blame them with him in the stands??? THEN I had to hear it all the way home... RRRR!!!!!
Sorry so long, I had to vent I am still steaming... but really couldn't get on to ask advice until today since DH went to bed early... Thanks ladies for any advice. I just don't understand they are only 12 and it is only a game, shouldn't they be there to have fun and work as a team?
I already told him that and I am also thinking of taking a break from sports next year. The only problem is we are down to one car and with all 3 in sports it would be hard to keep him from all the games... :(
Quoting mamabeth4180:
i'm sorry but DH sounds like an ass. i would not put up with that shit, and that would def be the last game he went to.
Ditto... U are there to Encourage them not Put them down!! Period!!!! I probably would have smacked him... But thats me... He's her father NOT her coach!!!
Quoting mamabeth4180:
i'm sorry but DH sounds like an ass. i would not put up with that shit, and that would def be the last game he went to.
I would have been pretty mad to if he was doing that. How is she going to concentrate with someone yelling at her the whole game....I'd have told him to sit down and shut up and then just dealt with whatever he said after the game later. I'd have him watch the tape so he can see how much of ass he was and then tell him next time if he's going to do that to just go home and you'll get a ride from someone else. Sorry your DD had to listen to that. Hope her feelings are too hurt to not to want to play.
I honestly believe that your husband's yelling made your daughter feel sooo bad that it threw her off her game. I'm sure she felt so nervous about dissapointing her daddy that it made hger perform bad. I wouldn't invite him for anymore games and tell him that if he can't be a good sport then he can't come. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
Hope it doesn't happen again.
I think you did good by going to the other side.
Trust me I have been there before. My DH is just OCD when it comes to his daughter and softball. I can't stand it sometimes when he yells at her and then she argues back. He never played ball in school, he played Pop Warner football when he was a little kid, so he only knows what her coaches and trainers have said, so he thinks he knows it all. And then apparently he thought that she was going to go all the way to college ball, so he pushed her to play when she didn't want to, she has never been able to have a job because it has been school and softball. So much money has been spent on something she isn't planning on pursuing after high school. I understand that it is great that she get the team work, etc. But why not utilize that money for other things if she isn't serious about it. Even with all the private lessons, etc. she never practices when she is supposed to and isn't serious. So trust me I know exactly what you are going through.
Thank you ladies! I really needed to know that I wasn't a total @$$ when I did that and that he was in the wrong. I want to kind of wait until this weekend to show him the vid. because he knows I am still pissed and I am so tired of arguing about this. I almost wanted to post it on Youtube and email it to him. LMAO
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- DaNiMaRiEsMiTh
on Nov. 23, 2009 at 12:45 AM