What to do about Thanksgiving? (family drama...)

[3earthangels]

So long story short... in Sept I told DH about an affair I had before we were married as part of the Love Dare. About 2 weeks later I found out he had two women on the side, one of them my youngest sister (who is 23). I then found out my mom knew the whole time (3 years) and didn't say a word. As you can guess, it's totally torn my family apart. In come Thanksgiving tradition... Normally, everyone goes to my Uncle's house for Thanksgiving (except for 1 Uncle, who lives in VA). So that means me & my kids, my middle sister & her DH & kids, my little sister and her DD (the one who was with dh), my mom, my aunt, and all my cousins (14 in total, and their So's). Plus my Aunt and Uncle who are hosting. I'm dying to see my family (except my sister and mom) because I haven't seen them since last Thanksgiving. But I could really do without the tension, and the need to be respectful towards my sister and mom for the rest of my family's sake (b/c honestly I've been avoiding both of them for fear of beating the living sh*t out of them...). My Uncle who is not coming invited my kids and I down for Thanksgiving. I actually see them more often than any of my other family members, but it would be less stressful for me (except for the 6 hour drive to and from). I'm not sure what to do and it's only a few days away. What would you do?

[BrownEyedGirl86]

are you still with your husband?

[little.miss.mom]

Personally I wouldn't go. That is unless family tradition calls for hospitals and police.

[3earthangels]

We are seperated, but still married. Some days I want to work things out, some days I want to rip both his heads off. I'm not entirely sure what I want to do, so I started therapy.

Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

are you still with your husband?

[cdavis21]

 I'd probably not go, and send a letter to the hosts explaining why....but I'm kind of passive-aggressive, I guess, lol.

[mom2four1978]

Go to your uncles. It has only been since September. Give yourself more time. And if you are still with DH go without him. Time for just you and the kids might be good for you. This way you and your kids get to have a family thanksgiving without all the stress to you and especially to your kids. Even if your kids don't know they will sense something.

[Schleetle]

Oh my goodness... I would just avoid it altogether. I really have no good advice.

[mitty18]

Did you forgive your husband, and still with him???
If so then you need to forgive your mom and sister also.
I mean you can't forgive one part and not the other, they are each equal in blame, and as far as your mom goes, maybe she didn't want to get into the middle of it. Your both her daughters and maybe she was trying to stay out of it.

For thanksgiving do whatever you feel is best is all i can say. I just want to post the part about forgiving since it is almost Christmas...

[ctfirsttimemom]

I would do whatever you want to do.  I wouldn't let your mom and sister ruin anymore of your days!  If you want to go see all your family then go.  It sounds like there will be more then enough other people there.  Now, if you think your mom and sister will go out of their way to start drama, then I wouldn't go.  It sounds like there has been enough drama lately.  Your husband wouldn't be there would he?

[happy2gether5]

I wouldn't even think about going.

[traceybard]

I say go to your uncle's house.  You don't need the drama right now.