Are humans truly meant to be monogamous?

[myfoursonsks]

I am talking about pure instinct.  I am not talking about the ideals that religion or society have placed on us. Sometimes I feel monogamy is a choice that we make because that is what society expects from us.  Either you choose to be monogamous or you don't.  What do you think?

[myfoursonsks]

bump

[Swtmama62205]

Well i dont know.  I know that i have no desire to be with another man other than my husband

[MomX04]

No they are not.  They are meant to reproduce and make new and varied DNA lines to keep the species fresh and new. 

They may find a strong reason to stay with one person if they develop love for that person or they find that together they are better than alone, but the urge to go elsewhere will still be there for most people because it's in our nature to look for other possibilities.

[RheaF]

 I do feel it is in our nature to be monogamous and it is society that is telling us we shouldn't be. And why not? There are plenty other animals that Mate for life, why is it such a stretch that Humans are among them?

[Just_Bethy]

Instinct..?? I say no..especially for males...I think we chose to be to prevent hurting someone...because we feel emotion for someone ..or for religious/social reasons.......but I don't think its a natural state...after all..if our spouse leaves or dies we eventually move on.... 

[areid1023]

my parents went through a really messy divorce when i was a kid and as a result i was left very skeptical of monogamy. i thought dating was even pointless. well i put DF through the ringer when we got together. i did horrible things. it was a "i'm gonna hurt you before you hurt me" kind of response. he stuck by me and when i realized how in love with him i was it was amazing. he has absolutely single handedly renewed my faith in men and relationships. so i think its up to the person. i think human instinct is a little too broad reaching for this topic. i think some people are meant to be and some people are not meant to be. part of having complex thought is the diversity it brings.

[LuvmySFSGT]

Well for me it is not a "choice" I make. 

When I am with someone and I am happy and satisfied I don't WANT to be with anyone else....and my husband was very much the same way...he didn't even look at other women like that.

[imechard]

I am not sure if we were meant to only have one partner at a time. Given the long gestation women have and the long childhood our children have, I think that women are meant to have only one partner at a time, because that partner would be more willing to defend and protect and care for his offspring. I think that given our rather frail exterior compared to other predators, we are meant to have one partner, to establish a bond of caring. Men would really not be able to protect more than one woman with her children, so again I would say yes.

That does however not mean that we are not able to be attracted to more than one person. I have been attracted to other men while I was married to DH. Sometimes physical, other times more ideally. Like when DH are going through a rough patch and this guy at work was so nice and understanding, and cute as well. However, I am a rational being, as most humans claim to be and I know that betraying the relationship I have established with DH would be jeopardized by engaging in another relationship and after weighing pros and cons, I decided that DH IS worth the investment and the respect and I would not cheat on him. Because I am his partner and he is the father of my children and my family trusts me.

[imthatgirl728]

Who the hell knows the answer to that.

[Kaybean]

Yes I do think we are meant to be monogamous. I feel like some people just like to play around and get their jollies with multiple people, but I don't think that's the way we are intended to be. With all those strip clubs out there and porn and provocative clothing and media pushing sex on people constantly, its no wonder so many people stray.