There are just some things I jusst never expect...

[SommerP]

First off, let me start be saying that My daughter visits with grandma every Monday. That being said, I got a call from her a little while ago and she seemed a little upset. Here's how the conversation went...

Zoey: Hi mommy.

me: hi Zoey, what's up pumpkin?

Zoey: You're right, right?

me: I'm right about what?

Zoey: it's bad to smoke, people shouldn't do it

me: that's right

Zoey: Well I told grandma that but she won't stop smoking

(let me add that grandma has a 'smoking room' that zoey is not allowed in, she does not smoke around her)

me: well munchkin, it is bad to smoke, but grandma is old enough to make that choice and if she wants to then we can't stop her

Zoey: ok... but I don't have to like it, right?

me: that's right baby

Zoey: ok mommy, I have to go now

me: ok, I love you

Zoey: love you too

I didn't know what to say. How does someone go about explaining free will to a 4 year old? I just hope she understood...

[officerjoeys]

I think what you told her is fine. When she gets a little older she'll understand better. I think right now it sounds like she is satisfied with the answer you gave her. I have a 4yr old boy and I know he don't understand how everything in the world works, but short, simple answers seem to do the trick for now.

[MyIslandGirls]

you did fine :)

she understood.. if she didn't then she would have kept on asking you questions until she did.  what you said satisfied her and that's why she let it go :P  don't worry... you did great

[prego7386]

well you just have to tell her that grandma is an adult and once she is an adult she can make decisions even if they are bad ones as long as they dont break the law no one can punish her....or something along those lines. My dad used to see people smoking and say "you see that? if i ever catch one of those in your mouth im goin to beat your butt i dont care how old you are" lmao this form a man that NEVER spanked me

[25beengoodtome]

I like the way you speak with your daughter. you are honest, and remind her that family still loves you ~ even if you make some bad choices. 

[lbdm2002]

My husband is a smoker..but I'm not.  He's not allowed to smoke in the house, car or around the kids.  A few years ago, my DD was learning about the effects smoking has on people in school.  She came hom from school and DH was standing on the porch smoking and she was like "daddy..you're going to die.  Your lungs are going to turn black, shrivel up, you won't be able to breathe..then you'll die..just in case you didn't know".  HA HA.  She's great.  She tries to get him to quit smoking..like when he's getting his jacket on, I'll ask him where he's going..she'll be "he's going to kill himself mama"...at least she understands how awful it is.

Good for your DD to understand and know that sometimes people make decisions that are bad for them, but that doesn't mean that she has to do it too!

[SommerP]

bump