I am not a heartless bi&*h!

[aretheyallmine]

This is another child support post, but I have a pressing question.  I had a child support order from 2000, when I first got divorced.  I received the child support most of the time until I moved to CA and then because his visitation was cut down I didn't really push the issue for a couple of years.  Then in 2007, I decided to start going through child support enforcement because every time I would call and ask him to help me with the kids for this or that he would say no.  That same summer he decided to go on vacation the week he was supposed to have the kids for his visit.  I drove them 21 hours to MT and then he was gone all but one day and took them for an hour the whole time and then never called or talked to them again since.  After two years of this I decided to re-evaluate the child support order.  It went from $246, a  month to $750 a month which is a large jump.  It was supposed to start in August, but the judge had to sign it and it finally was finalized in October.  Child support enforcement forgot to send the order to his employer so I am yet to see the change.  They said it would start in December, but he would have to back pay from August. This will add on another $50.00 a month. He didn't turn in any paperwork that they gave him or appeal it in the time allotted.  Here is my dalima.  He has two more children now with his wife. They won't let the children see their siblings when they are at Grandma's house and his wife is rude to my kids if they are visiting Grandma when she shows up.  One time she even said "What are they doing here" to my kids' Grandma with my kids sitting right there.  So he has no way earned the right to be a father. In a way I feel like I am taking money away from his other children at Christmas time.  Should I send some of the money back to him for Christmas?  Or should I keep it all, being that he has treated my children like crap for two years, no Christmas or birthday gifts nothing?  Any suggestion?  Sorry so long.

[Lanie_momofone]

 Heck i wouldnt feel sorry for him and his family, because from the sounds of it , his wife wouldnt give a sh^t about your Christmas either.

You worry about your kids and ONLY your kids.

[indymom72]

keep that money momma...he had kids w/you first, if he couldn't afford more he shouldn't have had them!

[Just_Me_1326]

hell no don't send a dime back!!! this is all him and he should take responsibility for your children.. 

[hautemama83]

I wish BM on our side was like you. I'll be honest no I dont think you should send money back to him. With that said I have to ask what was your real motive for modifying the CS order, did you actually need the money for the kids or no?

[chais_wifey]

Quoting Lanie_momofone:

 Heck i wouldnt feel sorry for him and his family, because from the sounds of it , his wife wouldnt give a sh^t about your Christmas either.

You worry about your kids and ONLY your kids.

Neither he nor his new wife seem to care about you. It's their responsibility to provide for their kids not yours. And it was HIS responsibility to take care of your (yours and his) children which if he had been doing all along, he wouldn't be getting screwed now. 

[Mom264]

I would not send him a penny.  He has been less than stellar to you and yours. 

[mcsmom1]

She married him knowing he had a financial obligation to his children.  I wouldn't feel one tiny bit bad about the increase in his support payment.  It was increased for a reason.

There is no way I would give any of the money back. 

[mirandas_mom]

No, you should not! Your children deserve every cent of that money! It is not their fault their dad went out and had more kids!  

[Becky.Mom.of.2]

Quoting Lanie_momofone:

 Heck i wouldnt feel sorry for him and his family, because from the sounds of it , his wife wouldnt give a sh^t about your Christmas either.

You worry about your kids and ONLY your kids.

[scootermom]

Quoting chais_wifey:

Quoting Lanie_momofone:

 Heck i wouldnt feel sorry for him and his family, because from the sounds of it , his wife wouldnt give a sh^t about your Christmas either.

You worry about your kids and ONLY your kids.

Neither he nor his new wife seem to care about you. It's their responsibility to provide for their kids not yours. And it was HIS responsibility to take care of your (yours and his) children which if he had been doing all along, he wouldn't be getting screwed now.