Oh HIS medical condition wasnt SERIOUS?

[USMCBride08]

Background. Had my son back in January. He was jaundiced for 1.5 months. At birth he weighed 8.5lbs. When we took him home, he weighed 7.9. 2 weeks later, at his 1st appt, he weighed 7.2... He was EBFd. We did weight checks every 2 weeks. it took 1 month for him to get back to his birth weight. Fora child that nursed every hour for 30 minutes, he gained NOTHING. We tested him for everything under the sun. Did a GI series to check for reflux. Drew tons of blood. My son is only 10 months, and has now given up when they take his blood. They can tourniquet his arm, and he will flop down like he's defeated. Thats NOT how a child should act during that. His liver enzymes were off the charts. At 4 months old, when they were FIRST checks, they were 144 and 277. They should have been under 50.  Finally at 5 months, he was diagnosed with congenital CMV. It could have caused PERMANTENT damage. Permanent weight issues, calcification's in the brain, compromised immune system. by 6 months, he gained weight like a pro. at 5 months, he was 13 lbs. by his 9 month appt, he weighed 22.2. 9 lbs in 4 months.Drs were FINALLY happy with his gain. We did a CT scan @ 5 months old. One of the hardest things i have ever had to watch my child go through. I sat in the room and cried while dh soothed him during it. Yes, i know i am a horrid mom for not being there for him. But at the moment, i was spent.

watching your child suffer for his entire life is hard. watching drs poke and prod him all the time to where your child just gives up is even harder. My son was starving that day because he wasnt allowed to eat. they were supposed to sedate. our appt was at 8. They didnt start til 10. My INFANT was miserable. I begged them to sedate, to make him comfortable. He was hungry. my heart was broke watching him. I begged and pleaded with them. They went through the pain of putting an iv in his arm for the sedation. But they didnt. AND then i had to wait around for an hour afterwards to see if they wanted another scan. My baby was miserable. But i admit it. at that time, i was unable to be there for my child. I couldn't do it. I wanted to jump into my car and just run away from it all. Yes. Its wrong and im sorry i did that to him.

But my sil baby had her shots. and she was talking about it like it was the end of the world. I just told her "she'll be ok, they're just shots she's a big girl =]"

she asked me what i knew about babies and pain. I asked her if she remembered what i went through with my son.

her reply?

"oh whatever. its not like was a big deal. i mean i get blood drawn all the time"

Um. you're 21 years old. i would HOPE you didnt pitch a fit everytime a dr came near you with a needle.

oh and then she said "i mean gee he's FINE now"

if she only knew/ Right now i live in fear of a spot they found in his brain. In all honesty, i cannot calm down about it until they MRI it at a year. they need to know if its growing. And if it is, they will biopsy it and most like remove it. Does it affect his development now? No. My child is crawling and chattering and saying momma and dadda and giving kisses and hugs and lovings and all the normal things a baby his age does. But does that mean we're in the clear? No

Im just upset now because people seem to think what my son went through is a joke and no big deal. because its all my inlaws who think that. My MIL, my FIL, my BIL,

my FILs 2nd wife and her daughter*my sil*

and my fils 3rd wife now.

they all think im unstable and that im overreacting.

could it be worse? YES i know i could. But does that mean i shouldnt take it so hard when its my child suffering? Thats like telling a parent whose child has autism that they cant be upset because other peoples children are dying of cancer.

but now my night is ruined, all because i am way too emotional about this

[USMCBride08]

LOL not enough drama? =]  

[mom2knl]

My thoughts and prayers are with you...it is a horrible feeling when your baby in going through things that you don't 'understand' for example......surgery's or testing that other Mother' s haven't been through or Parenting books that don't cover that kind of info....it's hard to talk to the DR because you are so scared you really can't listen.....YES I have been there.... PM me if you need too...

[USMCBride08]

or the drs act like they're too busy or the procedure is too important to be put off by your doing research or asking questions, right?

i feel sometimes like i dont want another child because what if something like this happens again. I cant fail a SECOND child.

Quoting mom2knl:

My thoughts and prayers are with you...it is a horrible feeling when your baby in going through things that you don't 'understand' for example......surgery's or testing that other Mother' s haven't been through or Parenting books that don't cover that kind of info....it's hard to talk to the DR because you are so scared you really can't listen.....YES I have been there.... PM me if you need too...

[mom2knl]

Quoting USMCBride08:

LOL not enough drama? =]  

LOL!!!    sometimes it feels that way when you post something......   but this place moves fast...as I have learned..   :)

[SpcCraftsWife]

I'm so sorry to hear it. When my dd was about 15 mo she had a seizure. i thought it was her first. when my mil found out they were scanning her brain & all that(which they did sedate her for, but waited too long after the sedation-it was more like a relaxer than anything- to do the ct and my baby screamed for her daddy because mommy was holding her down) my mil was like oh- is that what that was... yea she had one of those at my house a week ago. i didnt think to tell you because i didnt know what was wrong with her.

I know it's scary, and I know for a fact it's infuriating when people expect you to play little miss sunshine while your child suffers. I'm sorry you and your ds and dh are going through this. You and yours are in my prayers.

[mlmartinez]

I am sorry that you had to go thru all that with your LO :( I am glad he is doing better now!

[USMCBride08]

oh lord id KILL someone if they saw my child do something odd and didnt tell me.

Quoting SpcCraftsWife:

I'm so sorry to hear it. When my dd was about 15 mo she had a seizure. i thought it was her first. when my mil found out they were scanning her brain & all that(which they did sedate her for, but waited too long after the sedation-it was more like a relaxer than anything- to do the ct and my baby screamed for her daddy because mommy was holding her down) my mil was like oh- is that what that was... yea she had one of those at my house a week ago. i didnt think to tell you because i didnt know what was wrong with her.

I know it's scary, and I know for a fact it's infuriating when people expect you to play little miss sunshine while your child suffers. I'm sorry you and your ds and dh are going through this. You and yours are in my prayers.

[bibdybobdyboob]

Your SIL sounds like a twit.

[jothra]

I'm so sorry for your little man! I can't imagine! I hated seeing my little one having his finger poked twice and blood drawn once! SIL is just sore because you aren't giving her sympathy for her LO.

[Hrivera5]

Dude, I read so many posts from you about your inlaws...they suck...stop talking to them!  I understand that is hard though, but wouldn't it be nice if they didn't cause all this stress for you?  Hang in there, family sucks sometimes :)

But yeah, my son had to have a CT scan at 12 months.  That was freaking horrible.  I had to keep him up all night, becuase they were hoping he would sleep through it on his own.  I didn't get to be in the room with him because I was pregnant at the time (radiation I guess?) So, my mom was with him.  I felt so bad for my little baby!

Stay strong for your son!

Here is my Ethan in the CT scan thing...my husband was deployed at the time, so I sent him pictures of it :(