Wait...just to clarify...are you legally married?
Anywho, if the church wants to be that way, you should bring it to their attention that back in biblical times people were considered married after consummating it. So, pretty much sleeping with someone was binding them to you in marriage...before there was the government definition of marriage.
I am Catholic, my husband is not. We are still married within my church, and no we are not forced to live as brother and sister. Perhaps something else is going on in the group that your are not aware of, why not go once in a while with him so you can see where he is coming from. And remember all religions come with their own set of beliefs.
Oh and are you actually married legally? Or do you just call yourself married...? If you are legally married the Catholic church can validate your marriage or give you a small ceremony to validate your marriage in the eyes of God and the church.
Oh please!
Marriage is a feeling of wanting to spend your life with someone. The paper simply makes it a legal binding contract.
These same "church" people will say over and over that God had a plan for us, our lives were decided before we were ever conceived. That said, God is the one who willed for you and husband to have a child out of wedlock. He allowed it to happen.
The good or bad that takes place is a persons life is an act of God. (yes- that means God willed the child or person period, who died a brutal death to die that way, awful as it is - he allowed it to happen - and based on the very bible they believe to be "Gods word", he new they would die that way before they were ever conceived)
The bible these "church" people preach from also says that Jesus himself prefers we NOT get married, though it is not a sin to do so, and that we will "have many years of trouble" if we do get married.
It also says WE ALL live in sin. Thus, those telling you guys that "you are living in sin" should worry about their own sins they commit daily.
Your boyfriend should leave this Church. I always tell my sons: "Those who PREACH family values are often the FIRST ones to break families apart"
Your child doesn't give a crap if your married, she only cares that you both love each other and her. That's whats going to make a difference in her life. NOT some legal binding contract!
If I were yall I'd find another church that celebrates Jesus rather than passes judgement on others.
That's just plain sick.
I do hope he is not considering their advice... if so I say move on cupcake.. you don't want a man who cant think for himself anyway!
Good luck to you guys!
"When the power of love overcomes the love for power; the world will know true peace"
Jimi Hendrix
I sorta agree with you. maybe he is in some sort of group where people look up t him. In that case he should be following the rules.
Quoting Mynesha:I'm going to have to take kind of a weird stance on this one. If your husband chooses this religion, then he should have expected this would be said to you. If the laws of that religion say you have to be married through the church to be considered married in the eyes of God, then do what you must.
However, if you guys are legally married but not through the church, your husband is wrong for doing this to you guys. THEY would not be breaking up your family, HE would if he makes the choice to continue with this group and you are unwilling to get married in the church. You came apparently before his decision to be with this church i'm guessing? And if not, he's doubly wrong.
It's easier to be angry at the church but honestly, no matter their demands, the choice is still your husband's.....
The Catholic Church pisses me off. And this just made it worse!!! They don't think ya'll should live together because you're not married by church but yet catholics believe that they can fuck all the want with out using protection! I'd tell your husband if he really loved you he wouldn't let people make him do that to ya'lls relationship! I say fuck that church and live your life the way you've been living it!
Quoting alwaysjoart:
yes we are legally married but i guess not to them. and i have went with him a few times but i dont really like to go. i dont really think there is anything else going on. he is not very happy about the way they are acting and is thinking about leaving the group.
I think a re-examination of conscience is in order in this situation. I hope the both of you realize that regardless of the religion you join you will have to follow their beliefs. In your case it was the marriage was not recognized... If you would have picked another religion the case may have been different. Something to be pondered...
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- alwaysjoart
on Nov. 24, 2009 at 3:18 AM