What do you consider cheating?

[RaeLynn1221]

Everyone has a different idea of cheating. Some think watching porn is cheating and some don't.

I do not think watching porn is cheating. I can see how it CAN cause problems in a relationship though. If it was excessive for example.

Basically IMO it is not cheating unless there is ACTUAL contact with another person. Whether it is physical like sexual contact or just emotional like talking or texting in a way that could lead to a physical relationship.

Now when it comes to seperating and divorce, there is a fine line. I would like to say if the couple is done with the marriage(before divorce is final) then it is okay to be with someone else as long as both people KNOW it is over. But along that same line it would be cheating if one person wants to try to save the marriage and one doesn't. 

So what do you think?

[KokoJones]

to me it depends on the situation... if i ever caught my hubs flirting with another girl... i would prolly just give him a hard time about it... if he was caught makin out with another girl, i would smack him upside his head and tell him he really needs to think about things... if he full on had sex with another woman, i would be livid, but i am not sure i could leave him.... i dunno... i guess it would depend on if it was a one time thing or if they carried on a relationship... if they carried on a relationship like my ex did with his skank then i would walk... but if it was a one time thing, i think i would give him a chance.... but my relationship with my hubs is way better than it was with my ex... i dont think i would ever have to face the prospect of him cheating... as for going thru a separation or divorce, i say as long as you aren't living together and your marriage is on the road to the end, then it isn't cheating... and no, i don't consider porn cheating

[mamivon2]

What do I consider cheating oh dear..

Ok when my dh starts having an affair, going out, kissing, sleeping etc. Thats cheating in my eyes. Over a long period of time. If he does it just one time like a one night stand then thats being stupid

now lets say we are separated but not divorced living in two different places. Then  I dont give a rats ass who he is doing

Does this make  sense.

[RheaF]

Both me and DH agree that Porn is a form of cheating. Actual sexual contact of any kind with someone else. Kissing, Flirting is also emotional cheating. Anything that you would not want your spouse to find out about. This is how it works in our marriage, I know everyone is different though,and respect that.  

[MommytoNandA]

Watching porn is not cheating IMO.  My DH watched it, I don't like it at all so I don't.  He doesn't watch very often, mainly when I was huge pregnant (8-9 months) and didn't feel like doing stuff a whole lot.  So no, I don't think that's cheating at all, and I was so uncomfortable I was glad he did that, LMAO.

I think cheating can be either emotional or physical.  I would be hurt by any kind of cheating, but IMO an emotional affair is worse.  I would leave for either though.  Cheating is not tolerated in our relationship.  I wouldn't ever want to hurt my DH like that and he feels the same with me.

After divorce...that's a toughy.  I would say it's OK to start another relationship if you are separated.  There is no time frame, just when you know you are done with the other person and there is no hope of working things out.  If the other person still wants to work things out and you don't (or vice versa) and you are done, it is not cheating b/c there is no hope of fixing the relationship if one half of it has checked out.

 

[lisa601]

 I think it's different for every couple.  Anything you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of your dh/so.

[mommyofbrayd473]

in my opinion i dont believe that porn is a form of cheating.  i honestly believe that cheating is when you give some else the feeling that your supposed to be giving your loved one. wheather its kissing, sex, or just an emotional feeling.  I dont know what i would do if so cheated on me.  i know it would be hard to leave him but i think it would be much harder to stay with him and there be no trust.

[chais_wifey]

Exactly. When you start lying to your SO then you already know that you are doing something you shouldn't be doing. 

Quoting lisa601:

 I think it's different for every couple.  Anything you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of your dh/so.

[carygrantfan]

i think if one partner considers it cheating then it should be considered cheating.  of course some people are extremely jealous and controlling so they think if their so is in the same room as someone of the op sex it's cheating, so a little common sense.  but when it comes to watching porn or something, my rule holds.

regarding separation and divorce: until your divorce is final, you are still married.  it's inappropriate to start a new relationship.  i don't care if the marriage is dead and both spouses agree.  show a little self-control and wait to hook up until the divorce decree comes through.  it shouldn't take that long.  maybe it would inspire the divorcing spouses to get the job done.  i think it's especially bad for separated spouses to start a new relationship if they have kids.  no matter what age, it sets a bad example.

[bupkie]

I think that doing something that your LO would be hurt or upset that you were doing is cheating... especially with the mentality of "what they don't know won't hurt them".   Because you are intentionally deceiving them.    Does that make sense?

[Jodee]

Quoting lisa601:

 I think it's different for every couple.  Anything you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of your dh/so.

I agree