I saw this on another post--if one's MIL died, many moms say they wouldn't go. What could a MIL possibly do that would necessitate such estrangement?
My own MIL are not at all alike. We don't have the same outlook in life, values, or personality, but I don't hate her. I'd visit her in the hospital and certainly go to her funeral. Are there that many moms out there raising boys who did a bad job?
I'm just curious.
My mother in law is clinically insane. She is bipolar, with a history of being abused by her grandmother. She also, is very unsanitary and hoards garbage. Her house is extremely dangerous and she has been evicted from subsidized housing before due to the mess. She lives off of PA, and "works" part time. She also has an obsession with her adult male children, and I am being serious. She is jealous that they are married and have moved "far away" from her.
There are too many stories to tell about this woman.
She is very sick, and very angry. She has been off and on medication, she is currently off.
One year ago, we sat her down, talked to her about our concerns and issues as a family. She was angry, bitter and furious. We gave her two months to get help, or we would be gone. It was the final chance after several. At the end of the two months, she refused and told us that we were being overbearing and ridiculous.
We never talked to her again, and our lives have been much more peaceful.
My husband, is angry that his mother chose to not be apart of his son's life. She chose, and she has made absolutely no effort to try to change our minds.
I keep wondering the same thing..I mean, I know there are probably some doozies out there, but they can't all be bad and it can't all be their fault! I bet, at least half of those problems are because of the DIL's, but the DIL's won't acknowledge it.
Thankfully, my MIL and I have a great relationship!
I'm sure it's hard for some to fathom, that their mil could do something so bad as to necessitate estrangement. I won't go into any details about what my mil has done, but my husband understands my position and I don't keep my kids from her. I have to set specific rules and expectations when they are with her for their safety and well being, but I allow them to go. Not every mil is this way and I am taking MANY mental notes about boundaries and respecting the people my kids marry/have relationships with.
MIL--she abandoned her son for the many men in her life, she has been married 13 times each time choosing her new man over the life of her kids, she is a druggie, she called DH at work to make amends said she wanted to throw him a b-day party just for him (25th b-day) to make up for all b-days she missed so he went, yeah there was a party for him and 2 other people, one of which was her new boy toy who was a year older than DH, she called him at work and when he called her back and asked her to please leave him alone, she went off on me, calling me every name in the book....so yeah if she died I would care less and DH wouldn't care either because even if it is his mother, she has never been a mother.
Step-mother--treated DH like gold until she had a kid of her own, then DH was nothing and got treated like crap, her kids got everything they wanted DH got nothing, she knew DH's dad was beating him and did NOTHING about it, but when the dad hit one of her kids she called the cops, accused me of being a slut and called me every name in the book (I was a straight A student and DH was the 2nd guy I had slept with lol) So yeah if she died I would care less!
Father--beat DH, ridiculed DH, does drugs, introduced DH to his first drug when he was 12, verbally abusive to DH, threatened me when I was 17 (told me to get out of the car so he could beat my ass), has called me every name in the book, hated me for standing up to him, lied about everything to my DH. etc, etc. If he dies, I'll be glad!
Quoting TheresaMomof9:
I saw this on another post--if one's MIL died, many moms say they wouldn't go. What could a MIL possibly do that would necessitate such estrangement?
Well- I have told my husband that if his mother were to die- he'd be going to her funeral alone- I will not go or be one bit sad that she died!
She gave m husband up for adoption when he was a baby- because she wanted to party. Drugs and Men were more important. Her mom adopted him- but she still wants to be around for all the important things- even if she didn't raise him.She's still a low life and does drugs, refuses to have a job and lives at home with her mom. She is on probation for possession with intent to sell.
She has started rumors that I've cheated on my husband. Told me that I don't deserve him or m children or their love. She's called DFACS on me several time with total bullshit- the first time being less than a month after my twins were born. Told them that she was my children's doctor, ect. Called me a slut- Slapped my husband in the face for taking my side over his- wants to start a fight with me every time we are near each other- she spanked my son and left bruises on him- this is why we have had nothing to do with her for 2 years now- she has been clean for 18 months but that's only because it was court ordered and has to do drug test 2x a week. She told me that once the order was over with that she would go back to using.
We just don't want or need the drama in our lives or the negitivity.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- TheresaMomof9
on Nov. 24, 2009 at 10:36 AM