Holiday season is hard for me this year

[heidi_l]

Hello,

This holiday season is a bit hard on me this year.  This is the first year that hubby and I are not together as a couple.  We just signed the divorce papers the beginning of the month.  I am in Alabama, he is in Ohio.  I have 2 of my 3 children with me, but the oldest is in Ohio with her father, my x husband.  Of course I am with my family, my mom and brother for the holiday season.  I haven't had a holiday with them for about 17 years and I am enjoying that, but I don't know I still feel weird not being a "family" like we have been for the past 18 years.  Is that bad??

Yes I still love him, and I do cherish the happy memories I have of us together, but we can't be together, he hurt me way to bad.  I can't and don't think I will ever be able to trust him ever again.  I didn't realize how it hurt until I saw him again about 2 weeks ago, we had been apart for 3 months when he came for a visit for the kids, him and his girlfriend. 

But anyeay the holidays are hard, but I am trying to make other traditions and get through this, without the kids seeing how it hurts.

[MrsGonzo517]

Hang in there hun!