Drama question - CS and SAHM (updated with another point and my input)

[a_and_j_momma]

So, I had a discussion with a friend last night and wanted to know how others felt.

If a woman was married to a man, during that time she was a SAHM. She didn't go to college and they were married young. They got divorced. The ex's stance is that she was a SAHM mom, he cheated and she wasn't prepared for him to leave her for his mistress. She collects child support and stays at home. Because she doesn't work he has to pay more which has posed a problem.

The ex husband is now remarried. Him and his current wife have a child, she is a SAHM. He wants the ex to get a job so his child support is less. The ex-wife is upset because she feels that her child deserves for her to stay at home too.

What are your thoughts. In her eyes, why is it fair that he cheats and she's forced to be away from her children due to his poor choices. Why is his child with his current wife more important than the first?

***Update***

One more thing she said that was a good point. She said their child is already dealing with a torn home. She feels as though the child already gets the shortend of the stick. She felt that their child needed security and to feel as though she was there no matter what. She said that it's not fair that the child has to deal with dad being gone and then mom has to leave too. It is a huge adjustment for a child.

Here's my opinion. She makes a good point. I feel that while the child is still young that she should be allowed to stay at home and him support them. Their child is already going through a lot. I told her that when their child started school, she should attend classes as well so that she can move forward with her life and feel as though she can stand on her own two feet.

**This is not me btw. I was never a SAHM**

[gulfcoastmom4]

IMO he has no right to tell his ex wife what she should or shouldn't do.

[iheartmyshaman]

The guy should've kept it in his pants.  He left for his mistress - don't feel sorry for him one bit.

[KrystalY]

 So he wants his ex to go back to work so his current wife can stay at home?  Sounds pretty screwed up to me.  I believe that he has a right to a new family, but his first child shouldn't have to suffer so he can have more.  If he couldn't afford to give her enough that would be different, but she shouldn't have to go back to work to make life better for the new wife.

[usmclife58]

Thing is, once the marriage is dissolved, he is no longer responsible for taking care of wife #1. Yeah, it totally sucks for her, but she should get a job. She needs to provide for herself and 50% of her son. BUT, this is not because wife #2  should get to stay at home. That is a different fruit altogether.

[yesitsme311]

He sounds like an ass. How a man could ever suggest he pay LESS to support his own child is beyond me. That just makes him look like he cares less about his older child and more about his newer one. Sometimes men are such pigs.

To answer the question, Its not fair at all. He is the one who cheated and now thinks his ex should make things easier on him, BULLSHIT! His ex should stay at home and be with her baby. Only that sucks is that in reality since she is alone now she will porbably have to get some type of work to supplement that missing income to support her child.

[.KittyD.]

i think once a child starts school under whatever circumstances she should get at least a part time while the child is at school. but that's just because i cant imagine staying at home all day. lol

[Mommy2_two]

Is she getting alimony or just the child support?

 

[littleluvkitty]

I think that she should get a job. the man is a jerk and he should not have cheated on her. however she is a single mom now and if she needs more money than she should get a job. in my op. its not fair but as my mom always says life is not fair.

[KreatingMe]

Here is what BURNS me up. How in the hell can you say the child from the first wife is more important ...when... you're talking about lowering CS for existing children to take care of new ones??? In actuallity what is being said is the "new"( for lack of a better word) child take precendce over the existing child. The new child's needs outweighs the current level of support to existing children. Anyway you slice it,  you're saying the new baby supercedes the existing. There is no *logical* way to make the case that the older children are more important,  when this is the stance.  

[Tazz2]

I say I dare him to take her back to court to get it reduced.  I wouldn't get a job just because my ex told me to, especially if he cheated and left, he can kiss my ass