marriage in shambles & looking for a shoulder LONG PIOG UPDATE
After years of putting up with the BS I am done. I know I have said it before but I am at the end of my rope. His behavior & cruelty is affecting my girls. I am afraid that his meaness is going to leave a beyond negative effect especially on Brooke. She is beyond sensitive & I can see how it is wearing on all of them especially our older 2.
I have been a SAHM for 10 years now. I still do not drive so this is harder than usual. I am just at such a loss & feel as though I am drowning. I am barely even able to think straight at this point. I have waded threw this for 10 years to only be told how miserable we make him. He says he hates me & wants to have nothing to do with any of us.......... At the end of the day I am stuck without a dime to my name. I am not on his bank account. He says he would rather end up in jail then pay child support.
I have felt so sick since this all went down last night. I found today that he is not wearing his wedding ring. He changed the password on his phone which of course sends up red flags. He is saying he wants to be alone & that I was the worst mistake of his life. I just don't even know where to turn or what to do. My mom says I will get more help here but that means being stuck in the house with him. I don't think I can live like that. I am going to land myself in the hospital over the stress. I have put up with so much over the last years. I know I am not the easiest person to live with but he has no clue how difficult it is dealing with him & his diabetes & everything else. How can he make it all about him now? He has no consideration for the girls. I really think the only reason I stayed as long as I did is because of the girls. The thought of trying to start over again terrifies me. The girls love his parents & sister. I just can't deal with it. I want to just run away & hide. I feel like I swallowed a giant beach ball & it is just sitting in my stomach. It takes everything I have to not be throwing up right now. I sat here & cried while Brooke just sort of looked away. She is worried about me & not sure how to handle it at 10. I have just turned into a failure all over again. I have to stop for now, I am so sick to my stomach the way it is.
Happy Thanksgiving to me. What a day to find out that the prick is having emotional affairs online. The one person I found out about I fold the witch to back off. She KNOWS he is married & with kids. How slimy can you get? I am calling a lawyer on Friday & I am letting his family know tomorrow. The holidays are going to be unbearable for our girls I am sure. He is now saying I can't buy them anything. I don't have much on hand except for the baby. I know it is about more than gifts but it is going to be beyond emotinal this year. I am trying to hold out until July when they finish the school year but I am not sure I will be able to.
I am sure there are tons of places you could turn to for help.. I don't know of how to get in touch with them fof hand.. hopefully someone has some info on here! Your dh sounds like a loser and I would say you and your children are better off without him. I know it must be terrifying but you can't live like this. You are not a loser and you will come out of this a better person in the end.. just hang in there and hopefully someoen can give you some good resources to look into!
Im sorry you are going through this and you dont deserve to be treated this way by any means. Starting over is hard and terrifying but many women have done it and survived. You can do it mama! Do it for your girls so they can know that this sticking around and being treated cruely is not your example for what they should do if they ever find themselves in that situation. As for his family they love your kids and they will still be there for your kids even though he's being a jerk. One day at a time is all you can do but it will get easier once you get out of there bc the stress of being married to him will disolve since he wont be your problem anymore.
wow im so sorry .what a horrible man he is to do this to you .i hope you get c/s off him and if he dosant pay he will be forced to and put in jail .good luck
By all means, LEAVE. I know it's easier said than done. It's not okay to allow yourself and your children to live in an unhealthy enviroment. You deserve better than that. There has to be somewhere you can go.
I'm sorry you're going through this and I'll say a prayer for you and your girls.
crystal, i don't know where you live... but if you can get on a bus and come to rhode island, our homeless shelters can help you!
THEY ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK! you will be set up with a social worker who will help you get the cash and food assistance you need.
out of the cash, you will be charged a percentage for rent. the shelter has "apartment" style accomodations for sinlge mothers. you will be rooming with one or two other's sharing that appartment.
it's hard! they drug test and if you take so much as paxil.. they monitor that!
but.. they get you onto the housing list! they provide you with HOME OWNERS CLASSES! they have a 40 year mortgage program here through the state to help lower income families!
it's a way... to get out of there and get on your feet. rhode island isn't the best state, not by any measure... but we do have these amazing programs to help people in need.
hugs! take time today to research what you have in your area! you might have similar programs right around you that can help you.
be strong momma.... hugs!
ADMIN FOR AUTISM, ASPERGER'S, PDD AWARENESS.
You are a woman with children and yep a relationship is hard to leave, especially when it involves children but...if it's really bad then you have to leave it because of the children. Hard to explain, especially since the children will be effected, but in the long run, it's better to leave a really bad relationship then to stick with it.
A mother has no bond like the bond she has with her child(ren) and for this it makes us stronger than men.
CafeMom Featured Groups! Which groups do you recommend?
- mommybug77
on Nov. 24, 2009 at 12:09 PM