So I just got in an argument with a good friend of mine. She just called to ask me to be one of her bridesmaids. I was thrilled until she told me about the dress. She gave me the website and the dress to look up. The dress is about $400, and I absolutely can not afford it. I was very nice when I told her that the dresses are beautiful, but I just can't afford $350 (we get a discount if all her maids buy from there and she buys her dress there), and was there any store that sold it for cheaper? Aparently not, its a local store here and the dress is fairly exclusive, but is similar to others. So I told her that I would have to talk to DH about it, and see what we could do. We talked and there is NO WAY we can afford it byt the time she wants me to have it. Now she's asking me to purchase the dress next month (yeah right around CHristmas) since her wedding is in February. I don't even know if we can afford it by then, because we're paying for DH's next semester by cash, we have to pay for his cap and gown for graduation, and we have our regular bills. So I asked her if she would be willing to split the difference in the dress or help me out with a little of it. She said no. Then tells me if I"m not willing to spend that money on her then I'm no friend. Um...yeah. For my wedding I let each girl pick out her own dress, as long as it was the color of my wedding, because I knew some of them were financially strapped like I was. I have two kids and bills. SO I turned her down. Now her mom calls me saying I"m being rude and selfish (yeah, right) and that I must not be that good of a friend.
I know weddings can bring out the worst in people, but DAMN!! Needless to say I'm not going to be a bridesmaid. But I wonder if her other maids are having the same issue. I don't know where she got the idea to make us buy a $400 dress... But if I had an extra $400 laying around we would either pay some bills or put it to our car fund....certianly not on a dress I would wear once. UGH thanks for letting me vent.
I don't think your being selfish at all. I think your friend is being selfish by not seeing your point of view. I don't know a lot of peple who'd be willing to fork out that ind of cash for a dress your going to wear for a few hours. Heck I didn't spend that much on my wedding dress! Sorry your having to deal with this and it's gpt you down.....
Oh I know, I spent less on my wedding dress. It's got me down a little, but at the same time DH and I are having a good laugh at her. One of our mutual friends just texted me and said she was crazy.
Quoting travswife55:
I don't think your being selfish at all. I think your friend is being selfish by not seeing your point of view. I don't know a lot of peple who'd be willing to fork out that ind of cash for a dress your going to wear for a few hours. Heck I didn't spend that much on my wedding dress! Sorry your having to deal with this and it's gpt you down.....
Damn thats so messed up. I got married in August. I picked out black cocktail dresses for the Bridesmaids and my husband and I paid for them and the guys tuxes. That was their gift for being in the wedding. They knew it and appreciated it.
Ouch! I'm a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding in may. She's paying for the dress and accessories. I'll just have to pay for alterations because i'm due 3 weeks before her wedding. I'm fine with that. I can't understand why people think every one has money just laying around to spend when they want us to.
I think you should do everything possible to afford it.
That being said...I asked my bridesmaids input in the dresses (After all they were the ones wearing them!) and they actually all agreed on a dress...they were only about $150...and they paid for their own.
Had they not been able to I would have.
WOW! From what I understood the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses? IDK we didnt have alot fo money when we got married ut my bridemaid I ought her dress from penny's off the clearance rack. lol. It was a outdoor spring wedding. It was perfect it was pink and white (wedding colors) I also bought her a necklace that cost alot more than the dress, but it made up for the cheap dress.
Back in the day, when I got married, the bride paid for her wedding parties dresses.
Your friend needs to take a big girl pill.To ask someone to by a $350 dress for HER wedding is unreasonable,especially if she is aware of your current situation.I wouldn't even let it faze me,i'd tell her no sorry not buying the dress and if me not buying it means your not my friend(I mean seriously,"you won't be my friend!",sounds like something my kindergartener says to me!),then so be it! She'll get over it...
We really can't, that's the issue. DH's semester is going to run us $3000, and his cap and gown alone will run us another $200 (this includes graduation fee and diploma ugh). We also have a credit card we are trying to pay off. And rarely if ever do we have an extra $100, let alone $400 (we live check to check sadly). I asked the store if they had a payment plan, but it sucks. Half now, half when I pick up the dress, and we still can't do that. I'd rather spend that money on my kids if we had it. I'm trying to save up now for spring. The big kidz klozet consignment comes through and the twins are already out growing some of their current winter clothes. I'm hoping we can make it till march.
Quoting LuvmySFSGT:
I think you should do everything possible to afford it.
That being said...I asked my bridesmaids input in the dresses (After all they were the ones wearing them!) and they actually all agreed on a dress...they were only about $150...and they paid for their own.
Had they not been able to I would have.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- katzmeow726
on Nov. 24, 2009 at 4:16 PM