If SAHM have a job...then a SINGLE working mom has TWO jobs. Edit in red.
Okay - I'll just do an edit and see if anyone feels differently....if a married SAHM has a job (which I DO believe she does....a very honorable and difficult job)....then a SINGLE working mother has two jobs... (as in it is ONLY her....no "taking the kids to dad's on the weekends and Wednesday nights"...no "he feeds the baby while I shower and get ready for work"...no "he picks the kids up from day care and I go home and start dinner"....no husband (or S/O) saying "Honey, you had a long day...I'll give the kids a bath tonight"....and if a married working mother's husband DOESN'T DO THOSE THINGS (I know there will be the mothers who say "I am a working mother, and my husband doesn't do those things!")...then I feel SORRY FOR HER...marriage should be a two way street and if both parents are working , then both parents should pitch in with the kids and housework...I also believe this about SAHM - when the husband comes home from work, he can unwind a minute, but then he should step up and help! In fact, he should take over the second he walks in the door....he had his drive home to unwind (lol)! None of this "he worked HARD all day...he should rest" What the HELL did you do all day? NOT work hard??? If your working husband pulls that crap...you tell him "you would never make it as a working single mother!!!!")
So...an edit to my original post is that a single working mother has two jobs (yes...I think being a mother is a responsibility - and earning money is also a responsibility - so I will call them both jobs)...if not two jobs...at LEAST a job and a half!
And no I am not saying I am better than any one...I am definitely not saying I am a better mother (I think a good mother is one who does the best she can...and that includes SAHM and working moms - I do the best I can)...I AM saying that I am ready to pull my hair out and have a nervous break down trying to be a single mom who works 40 hours/week. I miss my son (I see pictures of what he's doing at day care and it makes me smile and cry at the same time)...I miss my free-time (the only "me" time I get is between daycare and work -- and that's across the street from where I work)...I miss not having to worry about money...I miss being someone who doesn't envy others (I envy SAHM whose husband's have a stable job)...I am not on a high horse...I have nothing to get over (as in the "get over yourself" replies implied)...I just wish my life was a little easier at the moment.
But...I am a little shocked that one of MY posts actually got more than 6 replies!!!! Guess someone has to feel offended for a post to get "hot". lol. I really didn't mean to offend. But I understand how it came across that way...nobody wants to hear someone say "I work harder than yoooouu dooo!" We all work hard.
Anyway...there's my vent...I think all mothers are great (except those that aren't....lol!)...I'm not putting anyone down...I am simply making an observation about the realities of life as a single working mother.
I am a single working mom and I'm tired of some SAHM talking the whole "I have a job too"... as though it is more than a working mom's job. Ummm...who do you think gets that stuff done in the working mom's household (especially the single working mom's household)?
The only difference between a SAHM and a working mom is that a working mom goes somewhere else to work for part of her day while someone else watches her child...and then she goes home to work the rest of her day. When she gets home...all the cleaning, housework, laundry, cooking and evening child care is still our responsibility. I mean, do the SAHM think this stuff just magically gets done while the working mom is at work???
We have just as much work to do as a SAHM. But we miss out on precious time with our children so we can earn money to support our family.
Now I'll admit...some working moms work because they want to (and would rather have the "break" from the kids and get out of the house)...but, some working moms work because they have to (and would much rather stay home with their child(ren)and have more time to get other household chores and cooking done).
I am a working mom because I have to be....I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be a SAHM!!!! But I don't have that choice. I'm sorry - I just get tired of hearing some SAHM talk about how much work they do...like it's so much above and beyond what a working mom does?
I work from home and work when I can. (I have set hours I need to do each week, but I make my own schedule). But some days I am so stressed about EVERYTHING I wonder how moms that work outside the home handle life...
Kudos to the working moms!!! :)
I am a sahm, I agree with you, however the house does get messier when you are home. (for us anyways) When I was active duty the house was always spotless, but now that I am home I am constantly cleaning up after the kids. then when I go to class at night time I come home and the house is trashed again!
This should be interesting. but personally SAHMs and working moms can say whatever they want. I have a career, I like it that way, and I've heard the argument so much I'm sick of it. There's good and bad both ways so leave it alone.
I am a good enough mom. My opinions on parenting tactics change minute by minute depending on my mood and the situation. I feel if the kids are still alive and fed by the end of the day I've done my job. I am a Goofy Goober (see the Spongebob Movie). I believe in singing and other things that embarass your children. When my kids say I'm the meanest parent ever I take it as a compliment. I've often yearned to box up my kids and ship them to Timbuktu. I feel the best thing about having kids is reliving childhood. I have a career and I'm proud of it. You can mess with me and get away with it but God help you if you hurt my kids. We are all flying by the seat of our pants with nothing but love to guide us.
I pretty much agree with you.
I mean I don't think its a competition and individual circumstances would decide who has it "harder" but I don't understand why some people feel the need to think their job is the hardest.
Maybe they don't get recognition in their own life so they want to convince everyone that they work so hard....who knows....
For ME it was WAY HARDER working a job and then coming home and doing everything.
THANK YOU!!!! LOL I agree 100% I work ebcause I have to. Luckily my DH is a SAHD which is a job in its self but when I get home I make dinner, give baths, clean, do laundry.... It is actually more work at home LOL but sometimes I feel like I have 2 jobs.
Just a SAHM with nothing to do, waiting for the drama to start....
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Ok, I was going to agree with you until I realized this was basically a bash to SAHM because I have a job that I do from my home...not just cooking and cleaning, it is actually 2 jobs that I get PAID to do...but I know what you are saying, they do have 2 jobs, but there is always something that can be worse.
You have to keep in mind these women, SAHM, are at home ALL DAY LONG with their children. It is extremely mentally draining. At least you do get a baby sitter and get a change of scenery.
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on Nov. 24, 2009 at 4:46 PM