I get why people don't discipline. You can live in your own little world blocking out how much your child is acting like a little SOB Snotty little monster (is that better??). And you don't have the time, energy, or sanity drained out of you by repleatedly trying to get things through your kid's head! <<<<<----EDIT: This paragraph is a GENERAL statement, I did NOT call my son an SOB, nor do I THINK he is an SOB. This is a comment about all those people who NEVER parent because it is the 'easy' way out...I 'understand' why they do it, disciplining is HARD. This is NOT about my child. Please for the love of ALL that is holy read what I have written in red here. I don't call my child names...it would only harbor hard feelings towards him from me and IF I said them to his face (which posting things online is NOT doing---eventhough I wasn't calling HIM names anyway...) it would lower his self esteem. I choose NOT to do that to my child...
Today my son decided to throw an entire stack of pamphlets onto the floor at the bank. Maybe I am wrong in this...but I don't think that when he makes messes like that, that I should help clean up. So I told him he needed to pick up the papers. He picked up a few, and then started making more of a mess. So I told him that if he didn't pick them up, I was putting him in time out. Probably not the best choice in hindsight because there is a store full of freaking people watching him which makes timeout pretty useless. So, after his 3 minutes, I tell him he needs to pick them up or he is going BACK in time out. He picks up a few and then starts making more of a mess. I put him back in time out. 1/2 through I realize what a freaking waste of time it is. My mistake, and I changed discipline (which I know you aren't supposed to do, you are supposed to be consistent, but it was clear to me that that mode was NOT going to happen). SO...I told him that if he didn't pick up the papers I was going to take away his car. (He JUST got this car...literally 15 min. before we got to the bank as a prize for pooping in the potty...we've been having issues). So I thought it would be a good motivator...it was not, So I threw the car in the trash can when he refused to listen. He bawled a little bit, and I told him that he made his choice...and if he would pick up those papers, he wouldn't lose any more cars. He didn't. I told him that this was his LAST chance, and if I had to pick them up (beacuse we'd been there for about 35 min already!) that he would be losing 2 cars when we got home. He refused. SO I started cleaning them up. THEN he started helping me, but oh well. So we go to leave the bank and he asks for a lollipop (which he gets when he is 'good' at the bank...and he wasn't today) so I told him no. He started to throw a fit, and I grabbed his arm, and started walking. He was screaming like a psycho the whole way out to the car. And of course everyone is staring at me like I suck as a parent. I am not perfect, I know that...but I'm doing the best I can. I have NO idea how I should have handled that...I did my best, what I thought would work...and USUALLY time-out works. Usually taking toys away works...but it didn't this time. Anyone have any advice?
On another note...during this whole thing while he was sitting in timeout the first time, some woman comes up and says to him (again...this would be why timeout was such a waste in a public place!) "I think I saw Santa around the corner". Oh send me through the freaking roof! I can NOT stand that threat. It's so empty it's not even funny. Plus, even if it WERE true, Christmas is like a month away...do you really think he's going to remember that he is getting LESS gifts by that time? Then you have the fact that...how does she know we even celebrate Christmas?! Or if we celebrate it with Santa?! This is the 2nd time this has happened to me in the past month when my son has acted up in public. I HATE it. Just keep your freaking mouth shut. Now...I mentioned this to some friends of mine and THEY thought it was WONDERFUL that someone said that..and they would have backed it up. Okay...if that is how you feel, then let me make this comparison...what if she had said "Looks like someone needs a spanking." Pretty rude, right? I sure think so. and it is the SAME thing...I THREAT of discipline that she can't possibly know if you will follow through. GRRR.
Edit in Gray.
UPDATE: So I talked to my aunt. I feel like such a JERK for throwing away the car that he DESERVED for such a big improvement in potty training. But at the same time I KNOW I can't go back on what I said. SO...SHE is going to buy him a car, and then give it to him and we're going to tell him that she got him a car because he did SUCH a good job pooping on the potty and she is proud of him just like mommy is. (posting this more for my own sake than anyone elses....cause I really do feel like a jerk for that...he really earned that car...and didn't deserve to lose it..>I should have used a better 'punishment')
It sucks when they're toddlers and act out like that.... but calling him an S.O.B???? classy.
Quoting briansmommy7143:
It sucks when they're toddlers and act out like that.... but calling him an S.O.B???? classy.
Sounds like your having one of those days! Sorry that he acted up in pulbic I hate it when we have issues in public. I would have just helped him pick up the pamphlets in the first place but that is just how I do things my daughter also is only 23 months old still so this may change for me as she gets older. I threaten with time out in public but for that I put my daughter in a shoppingcart because the reason she gets a time out threat is because she is walking along with me in the store & keeps running away. Wish I had some advice for ya but it happens to all of us we have to discipline in pulbic sometimes!
I do agree with you on not making empty threats. That's something I have never done. Throwing the car away in the bank trash can was a great move, I must say. Sounds like you just need to continue standing your ground and following through. Some kids are stubborn, mine sure as heck was. I threw away a lot of toys to get to where we are now.
Missi....loving wife to Jason, mommy to Ricky (1-12-05), and soon to be mommy to Logan Douglas (due Feb 2010). I'm a cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding till baby wants to quit, homeschooling, non-circumcising, anti-cry it out, part time working, animal loving, trashy romance novel reading, farm raised hillbilly. I have had Meningitis and Swine Flu and lived to tell about it. Any questions?
agreed. well said liz
OP, sorry your going thru this. stick to your guns and dont give in.
Quoting lizgriff:
I know exactly how she feels. She didn't call him one just said he was acting like one. Big difference. Get over it.
Quoting briansmommy7143:
It sucks when they're toddlers and act out like that.... but calling him an S.O.B???? classy.
Ummm, yes. and also that was in reference to the people who NEVER discipline...and that IS how their kids act. Geez lou-freaking-ise! I seriously can NOT believe that a mother can't even vent and ask for advice without people being jerks about it. Glad eveyrone else's parenting life is perfect...it's not for me...it's hard....VERY hard.
Thanks lizgriff for 'getting it'
Quoting lizgriff:
I know exactly how she feels. She didn't call him one just said he was acting like one. Big difference. Get over it.
Quoting briansmommy7143:
It sucks when they're toddlers and act out like that.... but calling him an S.O.B???? classy.
I could not have stayed consistant as long as you did- PROPS TO YOU! I get sooo embarrassed when mine does crap like that. But yeah stuff like this definetly sucks!!!
I'm a young (but strict) independent Mommy of one (so far). I firmly believe in CIO, front facing, semi-vaccinating, ocassional spanking/time-outs, tough love! Nothing irritates this Mommy more than immature little girls wanting a baby so badly then NOT TAKING CARE OF THEIR OWN! You give us "Young Momma's" a bad name- and we don't deserve it.
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- ProudSingleMum
on Nov. 24, 2009 at 7:57 PM