who makes the decisions about your children?

depends on what we are deciding, but if i was in your shoes id be flippin out on my hubby for saying yes before saying anything to you and ur bil for his dip shit comment

On certain factors I will cave, but I feel ult. I have the final say.... I do realize though in a court of law my husband does have just as much rights as I do however... P.S. I would personally tell you 13 yr. old BIL to shove it up his A$$... Oh and it would also depend if I A. Trusted my MIL, and B. even liked her and I would say C. my child's age...

i would love to be politically correct and say

"us"

but in a portuguese house hold..  when the kids are involved, ultimately there is no us...

there's me.

and if i say  "no" there is no "well he's the dad"

because then my reply would be "well good, here's his balls, you might want to give them back to him"

You are right. If you and your husband don't agree those kids shouldn't go anywhere? Your BIL is 13, why does his opinion even matter? Your hubby should have asked you first.

Day to da decisions are made together, but fall mostly on me!
Anything big like that though we 100% work together. If we disagree, we find some sort of compromise!

I would absolutely be putting my foot down on this one and say "Hell no!"

Personally, I would not let my 18 month anywhere without me. As for decision making, we don't make a decision unless we talk it over with each other and we have to be okay with it.  If he is okay with it and your not, then you should probably talk it over. Good luck.

It would be one thing if your daughter was 8 years old, not 18 months.  I don't blame you one bit for saying no, and I think that your no should stand. 

To answer your question, on most things we try to come to a mutual agreement, but if not, I almost always get final say.

Well, I am a housewife. I make most, if not all, of the daily decisions regarding the children... medical, food, clothing etc.

My husband and I both work together to make the major decisions regarding the children (such as a trip out of the country would be, lol), but he has the final "say" in all decisions.

That being said, I would NEVER allow my child to be taken out of the country. Nor would my husband. Period.