Sex Talk..is this screwed up? ETA More info!

[lbdm2002]

First, let me start by saying that it's 11:45pm here in S. Korea.  lol

So my DH and I are laying here in bed.  Out of the blue, he rolls over and asks me "out of the last 3 years, how many times do you think you've initiated sex in our marriage?"  I look at him and respond "I don't know...I didn't realize it was a contest to keep track."...so he proceeds to get all bitchy and asks why I don't think it's a problem that I don't keep track about how often I initiate sex and why I'm not initiating it more often.  I just flat out tell him that I don't keep track..I don't care who initiates it and to me, it's a non-issue.  So he tells me I'm screwed up and to get on and ask my "female website" what they think.

So..is it that important to you or your DH WHO initiates sex and how often you each initiate it? 

EDIT TO ADD MORE INFO!!

Well see, here's my deal on this.  My DH and I have a very rocky relationship.  So much so that Divorce talk is pretty common between us.  Some of the things he has said to me during the course of our marriage have been pretty mean, so IMO, why would I go out of my way to initiate sex with someone that says our marriage isn't worth fighting for...or that if I wouldn't have gotten pregnant while we were dating he probably wouldn't have ended up staying with me.  Ya know.  It's crazy. He doesn't talk like that all the time..but when he does, it's really a low blow.

I know I know..why stay with someone that talks like that?  I've asked myself the same question a million times.  I don't have a good answer other than he's the father of my children.  They love him so much and they are his world.  I would give up anything to make sure that my children don't have to suffer or hurt.  AGH.  anyway...

[ff-princess]

not extremely important, but I do make sure I occasionally initiate so he doesn't feel as if I don't want him.  I do - it's just that I'm so damn tired all the time with these two babies.  so yes, for an ego boost I will casually walk by and grab him. 

[katiegirl]

I'm currently single, but I do think it is important that each partner initiate sex equally. If I had to initiate it more in a relationship, I would think that my partner wasn't as interested in me than I am in them.  

[kimsamomof3]

I am the one that starts sex almost everytime.

[SamoandTimBug]

It doesn't matter to me.  But from both my ex-h and my dh, I've learned that it matters a lot to THEM.  It's a self-esteem thing--they don't want to feel like they're pushing us into sex when they initiate, sometimes they want to feel like we want it badly enough to get things started.  They want US 90% of the time, they just want us to feel the same way, at least part of the time.   

Keeping track of who initiates, how often, or how good IS messed up, however. 

[mmtosam06]

 umm when i was with douche bag i so didnt keep track on if i initiated or not its not a big deal i mean seriously we are not in HS were they like to keep it a contest

[ShadowLark]

We don't keep track, but we do take turns.  It's fun!

[maddiesmommy626]

It's never been an issue for us, but it does give him a confidence boost when I am the one initiating.   I see where your DH is coming from (it MIGHT seem like you're less attracted to him if you're not as into it), but I don't think it's really that big of an issue.

[Plus-size-mommy]

Um, no it's not a big deal. It's not a contest or a taking turns kinda thing. Who cares who intiates it as long as someone is intiating it lol!!

[momsbabies]

I hardly ever initiate it.  I don't think it matters who does, as long as I don't always reject him who cares.  He would probably like it if I did more often though.  I'm sure he wouldn't complain.  I hate having fight like that.

[QuickMomma]

Um no we don't keep track nor do we care who initiated it.Sounds like your SO is being childish.He needs to get over it!