when i get pregnant again i really do want to breastfeed, i never even tried it wih DS for no good reason so i feel like i should give it a shot. i have a big concern though. DS is a biiiig mama's boy and i love him more than anything in the world. i feel like i might have a closer bond with next baby and make DS feel left out or unloved or something IDK. just even thinking about it makes my heart hurt, i want him to know i still love him just as much but i have to breastfeed the baby and hold the baby all the time.
you are still gonna be giving the baby more attention because it will be more dependant on you. I breastfeed my baby girl and I still love my son (now 4) with all my heart. However, he is potty trained, he knows how to brush his teeth, he's starting to dress himself, I do have to supervise him, but he's not 100% dependable on me. He knows he's loved and taken care of, and does not mind me breast feeding the baby. If you also want your husband to help with the feedings and to bond with the baby while feeding him/her, you can always pump so he can bottle feed sometimes.
Partially depends on the age of your son when the next baby is born. My guy was just 22 months when his sister arrived. She's easy going and he's not so we actually can balance things pretty well. When she's nursing, he plays with toys or I read books to him. When she's asleep, I play with him (if I'm not doing stuff around the house). I try to get as rough and tumble as possible with him to bleed off some of the energy. I get him as involved as I can - he puts dirty diapers in the trash, gets her blankets, brings her toys, give her hugs and kisses.
Are you pregnant now?
Then if not, don't stress about it.
I breast feed my last two, and did not breast feed my first two. There is ZERO difference in anything, other than how they ate! You would still be holding a baby to feed them a bottle all the time, so there is nothing to worry about.
My first we failed miserably with breastfeeding, and I really wanted to. My second is adopted, and had I been nursing my first I would breast fed my adopted daughter as well (since they are less than a year apart), with my 3 daughter, we hit gold! I went into determined to make it work, and we did not even have a single bottle in the house, I would not let anyone give her a bottle in the hospital, and I had a lactation consultation signed up to help if needed. She weened when she was over 2, we loved it!
My 4, once again, I knew breast was the way to go, and just went into it knowing it was what I wanted to do.
Its hard, and there were times I cried out of frustration because nursing (at first), was hard for us. Painful, and at first all my kids wanted to do was nurse...ALL THE TIME! But, I am so very proud of us that we were able to do it.
But, how I feed my kids, and like I said some were nursed, some were not has nothing to do with the bond I feel with them.
i mostly ff my first then bf my second. my son was more cuirous and intrigued than anything.
not to make you worry more, but odds are an older child is going to feel left out and replaced no matter what. i used a baby sling so for subsequent kids, i could nurse the baby in the sling and read to older kid(s). also you can make special mom-son time during some non-nursing time. it may seem that nursing moms NEVER put down the baby, but every once in a while they do.
How old is your #1 child? Be sure to let him help you care for the new baby as much as possible. Kissing & hugging is a big plus, for all three of you.The older child can sit on one knee, holding your cover-blanket as you BF the newborn. This worked for me, my #1 was 3 @ #2's birth. Jealousy was +avoided as long as big brother knew he was loved and needed. Don't make #1 your "go-fer", let him be an active hands-on big brother.
I am a bit worried too because my daughter is a big time Mommy's girl, so I am pretty sure we are going to have jealousy issues. She is 2 though, so she may go into part-time daycare as a good distraction. She LOVES her Grandpa, so I am really concerned about her not letting him hold this new baby!
I always think it's important to play up the "big brother" role when you have a new baby. Make your son feel important. Ask him to give you a boppy pillow to nurse with (if you use one). Have him get you diapers and toys for the baby. Basically let him "help" as much as possible.
Also, there is no reason why you can't sit on the couch to nurse your baby and have you arm around your ds and cuddle with him at the same time. He may not be able to sit on your lap, but he can be close you.
Make it a point to praise him a lot for doing "big boy" things. Like using the potty or cleaning up his toys.
Don't worry mama, you will do just fine.
Well you'll have to feed the baby anyway, so it shouldn't matter how you feed them. If you want to breastfeed, do so. Your son will probably be very curious, let him sit with you and the baby while you nurse.. you could read a story or talk, sing songs, watch a show.. just something so as to include him in your experience. Obviously you're not going to want him next to you every time or even be able to the whole time. But just explain to him that baby's need lots of attention...and that's what the mommy has to do.. Let him help out as much as possible too. My daughter loved to help out when her sister was born... she still helps and the baby is 8 months.
Oh and my 2 1/2 year old sometimes grabs a dolly and nurses when I do.. haha it's too cute! =)
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- exceptalilfish
on Nov. 26, 2009 at 1:15 PM