OK so lets make this short. My dh's grandma had lived with his mom and dad since the passing of her dh in 1996. Well my FIL died in March 2007 and my MiL went crazy and moved away. She found a new man soon after. So how our living arrangements were set up was dh's mom and dad had 2 houses built next door to each other. In one house was FIL, MIL and grandma. and in the house I'm in now was DH and BIL. My DH and I married 10 days after FIL died. I got pregnant so when I had my dd in October 07. That's when MIL split and BIL moved out and moved next door. Well we came to find out MIL let both houses go in foreclosure. (we were paying rent). so the house next door went and BIL and grandma moved in together. We are still in our house because it hasn't went to court!!
OK well BIL is 29 and enlisted in the ARMY. He leaves February 2. Dh and I will be buying a house around April or May. We are in the process for selling our commercial rental property. So when that sells we will be well off.
I have 2 kids 5 and 2. We are trying for another one and its not happening and I am broken every time aunt Flo comes.
OK here is where I need some encouragement. Grandma is 83 and she has her set ways. I mean they are set!!!! She had had EVERYTHING handed to her on a silver spoon. She grew up with money. Since BIL is leaving in February, she has to live with us. I am so scared. She is pretty independent but she can't live on her own. She has alzheimer's but it is mild and she is on 3 different meds. We take care of everything for her. Finances and all. BIL doesn't work and grandma keeps him afloat. She has always babied him and I was told he was her favorite.
But I'm scared out of my mind to live with her. I know it is an adjustment for her and for us too. I don't want her to come between my DH and my kids and ruin our lives. She has 3 tow poodles and a very annoying 16 year old cat that they just let sit on the table and kitchen counter and if I'm over there and shoo it, she looks at me like I just hit it!
I'm sorry if this is rambeling. I'm just upset and I'm scared. I'm only 24 and my family is just beginning!
I know you're scared but honestly hon..she is too. Everyone she trusted to care for her has fled ..You and your family will be her rock..You can do this darl'in..There are support groups that you can go to ..there is respit care where you can have a caregiver come in and relieve you so you can take a mental health day..
You are young..and when you got with your man THIS was not what you expected nor envisioned but...You can do it...This wonderful woman has been hit with a malady that takes everything from her..Compassion for her should help the horror of not knowing what to expect..You said she has mild case and is doing well with the meds..2-10 years can pass with no significant change..If the animals are a problem allow just one..cats are shown to be very soothing to one afflicted...
P.m. if you should need or if you would like to..
Happy Thanksgiving,
Jamie
Everything will turn out fine. It will be difficult coping as alzhiemers (sp?) progresses. My grandfather is in the final stages of it and it is so sad. The truth is she will get to the point that she doesn't know who anyone is and you may have to either bring in outside help to assist with her or put her into a retirement home. I'm sorry this has been put on your plate at such a young age. She may be able to teach your children many things that have been forgotten. I find that the elderly love telling stories which may keep your children busy for some time. Good luck!
Mommy to a DD expected Dec. 2009. Bellamie Mashay Fleming
I'm here..don't be sad.(smile)
Quoting hadcarmom:
:( im sad and no one to help or to talk to
You will be fine. It will be some adjustment in the beginning but it will work out. Does she know she is going to have to move in with you and your family? Maybe you can do a gradual type of moving in so that you can get used to her and she can get used to you and maybe find out what the bumps in the road will be so that you can be more ready for them, if not get rid of them all together.
Talk with your husband and put it all in the open, your fears, your wants and not wants. Make sure that both of you are on the same page with everything. What you will do and what you wont, same with him.
If she has Alzheimer's both of you should be fully educated on what it does and what you can expect, including complications. If you house isn't already baby proofed, get it down now so if she gets worse before she moves in with you that is covered.
I'm sure there is more that needs to be covered but it will all work out for you and your husband and your kids.
The house I am in now is not big enough for her to move into. So we have to move in with her at the house she is renting in February when BIL leaves. Then we will be living there hopefully no longer than 3 months then we will be buying a house!
Quoting MomX04:
You will be fine. It will be some adjustment in the beginning but it will work out. Does she know she is going to have to move in with you and your family? Maybe you can do a gradual type of moving in so that you can get used to her and she can get used to you and maybe find out what the bumps in the road will be so that you can be more ready for them, if not get rid of them all together.
Talk with your husband and put it all in the open, your fears, your wants and not wants. Make sure that both of you are on the same page with everything. What you will do and what you wont, same with him.
If she has Alzheimer's both of you should be fully educated on what it does and what you can expect, including complications. If you house isn't already baby proofed, get it down now so if she gets worse before she moves in with you that is covered.
I'm sure there is more that needs to be covered but it will all work out for you and your husband and your kids.
Thanks so much I'm going to send you a friend request! :)
Quoting sniklefritz:
I know you're scared but honestly hon..she is too. Everyone she trusted to care for her has fled ..You and your family will be her rock..You can do this darl'in..There are support groups that you can go to ..there is respit care where you can have a caregiver come in and relieve you so you can take a mental health day..
You are young..and when you got with your man THIS was not what you expected nor envisioned but...You can do it...This wonderful woman has been hit with a malady that takes everything from her..Compassion for her should help the horror of not knowing what to expect..You said she has mild case and is doing well with the meds..2-10 years can pass with no significant change..If the animals are a problem allow just one..cats are shown to be very soothing to one afflicted...
P.m. if you should need or if you would like to..
Happy Thanksgiving,
Jamie
and I'll accept..there it is now...wait for it.....L.O.L.
Quoting hadcarmom:
Thanks so much I'm going to send you a friend request! :)
Quoting sniklefritz:
I know you're scared but honestly hon..she is too. Everyone she trusted to care for her has fled ..You and your family will be her rock..You can do this darl'in..There are support groups that you can go to ..there is respit care where you can have a caregiver come in and relieve you so you can take a mental health day..
You are young..and when you got with your man THIS was not what you expected nor envisioned but...You can do it...This wonderful woman has been hit with a malady that takes everything from her..Compassion for her should help the horror of not knowing what to expect..You said she has mild case and is doing well with the meds..2-10 years can pass with no significant change..If the animals are a problem allow just one..cats are shown to be very soothing to one afflicted...
P.m. if you should need or if you would like to..
Happy Thanksgiving,
Jamie
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- hadcarmom
on Nov. 26, 2009 at 6:30 PM